If you find life frustrating and difficult, say goodbye to these 10 behaviors

Life challenges us all sometimes. There are times when we all feel frustrated, and like things are too difficult for us to manage.

That’s a normal part of being human.

What isn’t normal, though, is constantly feeling like life is an uphill struggle. If it feels like you’re constantly frustrated and going through daily life just isn’t worth the effort, it’s a clear sign something’s wrong.

And often times, it’s our own behaviors that destroy our quality of life.

Take an honest look at yourself and ask if you aren’t making things harder on yourself by engaging in these behaviors.

Because often, changing the way you act can completely transform the way you feel about your life.

1) Procrastination

I honestly believe this is one of the biggest reasons why people get frustrated in life.

Look, we all procrastinate from time to time. Especially when there’s something we don’t particularly want to do. It’s always easier to put it off until tomorrow or next week or next year, while we binge-watch another Netflix show or take a nap.

But the reality is, the only time you’ll ever have to work on your future is now. And if you find life difficult already, procrastinating can only make things even more difficult for you.

When we procrastinate, “we’re not avoiding the task per se, what we’re avoiding is the negative emotions associated with that task,” says psychologist Fuschia Sirois. “And coming at it from this mood regulation or emotion regulation perspective then, what that suggests is that we need to find ways to manage those emotions first and foremost.”

There are many tasks in life that only become worse by putting them off. By giving in to your emotional responses, you’re making life more frustrating and difficult than it needs to be.

2) Poor time management

Along with procrastination, poor time management can often make life much more difficult.

I have friends like this. These are successful people, and yet they struggle to manage their time effectively.

They’re always late. They are forever making plans that never materialize because they don’t set aside the time to work on them.

It’s frustrating to watch from the outside. But it’s probably even more frustrating to live that way.

I’m not saying you have to have every minute of every day planned out – though if that helps you, go for it. But it is important to understand where your time goes and control how you spend the most precious resource you’ll ever have.

As a freelancer, I have a lot of control over my time. But sometimes, that makes good time management harder. There’s such a thing as too much choice, after all.

I stay focused by keeping to a rigid schedule for my working hours. I also set timers on my phone to keep myself from being distracted by apps and notifications.

These time management strategies allow me to focus on work when I need to and help me understand where my time goes.

3) Perfectionism

This is another major source of frustration and disappointment in life.

Things are never going to be perfect. There will always be hardships and setbacks, even in the most fortunate life.

In fact, those hardships and setbacks are a huge part of what makes life worth living.

Trying to get things perfect will only frustrate you. Even worse, it can prevent you from doing things that might actually make you happy. If you wait for the perfect time or the perfect person, you may never find it, and you’ll only end up frustrated and bitter.

The truth is, things don’t need to be perfect to be really good. And everyone who enjoys life understands this. Instead of trying to make things perfect, focus on the good things you have, and you’ll find your path through life a lot less frustrating.

4) Negative thinking

I don’t want to be one of those people who prescribes positive thinking for every problem, as if it’s just that simple.

But I know the damage negative thinking can do.

A negative mindset is one that tells you it’s not worth trying. That your current frustrations and problems in life will never get any better, and in fact will probably get worse.

Unfortunately, our entire culture has a negativity bias. Our media focuses only on bad news because it gets more engagement, and our brains are shaped by evolution to focus on the problems that may lie ahead instead of the good things.

This can be a very difficult pattern to break.

But focusing on what might go wrong or what has already gone wrong is a guaranteed way to make your life difficult. Because believing that life is hard becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

5) Fighting change

things men dont realize they do when they lack self esteem If you find life frustrating and difficult, say goodbye to these 10 behaviors

Talk all you want about death and taxes, but change is the real unavoidable law of the universe.

Everything is changing all the time. With every breath, you take in new atoms from the universe and expel old ones, changing the makeup of your own body. At the same time, your brain is changing as you age, and your personality is changing with it.

Meanwhile, the world itself is changing, too. No moment is the same as the last, and no moment of your life is ever going to come around again.

That may sound terrifying, especially if you have some good things you want to cling onto.

But accepting change is the only way to avoid the anxiety change brings. Once you understand that everything is forever changing, including you yourself, you will see that there is nothing you can cling on to. All you can do is move to the music of change.

And when you do that, you’ll find life gets a lot easier.

6) Lack of self-care

This is an easy trap to fall into. But ultimately, it can only make matters worse.

Self-care means exactly what it says: taking care of yourself.

That can mean eating right and exercising to maintain your fitness. But it can also mean taking care of yourself in other ways.

Sometimes, it means making time for relaxation or hobbies that rejuvenate you. It can mean doing things you love or spending time with the people most important to you.

Ultimately, self-care looks a little different for everyone. But everyone needs to take care of themselves from time to time.

7) Avoiding challenges

Just as it’s important to be easy on yourself sometimes, it’s also crucial to push yourself.

It’s way too easy to stagnate. Especially once you’ve found a relatively comfortable situation.

You may not love your job, but you need the money and it seems good enough. You may be with someone you’re not crazy about, but it seems like it’s better than being alone. And changing everything just seems too difficult to deal with.

But that’s exactly how people end up living a life that doesn’t suit them.

I’m not saying you need to climb Everest. I’m saying you need to challenge yourself to achieve your goals, whatever they may be. Because if you don’t, you’ll soon start to feel stuck and frustrated where you are.

8) Dwelling on the past

In psychology, this is called rumination.

“Typically, people ruminate to analyze/gain insight about problems or to come up with solutions (which is known as reflective rumination),” writes psychologist Gabriela Sadurní Rodríguez.

“Nonetheless, individuals can also ruminate about perceived mistakes or negative aspects of themselves (which is known as brooding rumination).”

This brooding rumination can be harmful. After all, there’s nothing any of us can do about the past.

And while it’s important to understand why things happen the way they did, obsessively thinking about it will keep you trapped in negative thoughts and rob the present of its joy.

9) Not seeking help

As tempting as it may be to think of yourself as a one-person army, we all need help sooner or later.

And there’s nothing wrong with that.

If you need help dealing with feelings of frustration or being stuck in life, don’t be afraid to reach out to your support network. Talk to friends or family, or seek professional help from a counselor or therapist. 

10) Being ungrateful

No matter how frustrating and difficult your life may be, there’s always something to be grateful for.

This is the power of a regular gratitude practice. By focusing on the good things in your life, you can turn your attention away from the bad.

It doesn’t have to be a lot. It could be a good meal or a warm sunny day. But being grateful for the little blessings life gives you helps you to change your mindset to a more positive and accepting one.

Dealing with life’s frustrations

As I mentioned earlier, frustration is a part of everyone’s life. It only becomes a problem when we let it get the better of us and define how we think about our life as a whole.

These tips can help you change your attitude and your outlook. And when you abandon these negative behaviors, you’ll find that life becomes a lot less difficult and a lot more enjoyable.

Clifton Kopp

Clifton Kopp

Welcome to my writings on Ideapod! I'm a bit of a "polymath" in that I like writing about many different things. Often I'm learning from the process of writing. I hope you enjoy, and please leave a comment on one of my articles.

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