You’re independent, comfortable, and free, but something is missing in your life. You have no one to share it with.
For me, I don’t find being single a bad thing. It’s the moments of loneliness and even frustration when I realize that the relationship or family I wish I had at this stage in my life, I don’t have.
In my single journey, I started picking up on persistent negative emotions and thoughts. I couldn’t stomach being around newly engaged friends or attending yet another wedding because it forced me to look at what I didn’t have.
I remember being asked if I was single at a friend’s event, and I felt so triggered that I knew my cool and collected attitude about being so independent was turning into something miserable.
So, if you feel these 9 things, you’re struggling with being single, but fortunately, it’s not the end of the world.
1) Loneliness
The biggest sign that you’re struggling with being single is loneliness. Despite considering yourself a strong and independent person, there are only so many times you can have “dinner for one” and be fine with your relationship status.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being single. The problem is that we naturally yearn for meaningful connections with other people. When we don’t fulfill these connections, it makes us miserable and lonely.
We all have a strong desire to be loved, and when you don’t have someone to fulfill this role, it leads to loneliness.
Fortunately, meaningful connections are not limited to romantic relationships. We can find love and happiness in valued friendships and the relationships we share with family.
Because loneliness can take a toll on your emotional well-being and general satisfaction with life, it’s important to switch gears and think about what you can do to create fulfillment.
2) Hopelessness
Is there somebody for me out there? Anybody?
Dating can be relentless, especially when it feels like you aren’t making any real connections. After some time, the excitement of dating can fizzle out and leave you feeling more despondent than ever before.
When you become hopeless, you’re definitely struggling with being on your own. Negative emotions can easily cloud your judgment, and at the end of the day, you want to give up. You might even settle for relationships that you don’t find truly rewarding.
Never settle.
From your feelings to the people you choose to be in your life, never settle for less than what you need and deserve.
Even if you have many unsuccessful dates or none at all, take it as a sign that you haven’t found your special someone yet. If you’re going to the same spots to meet similar types of people, change things up by visiting new places.
You can meet new people by taking up hobbies such as a cooking or dance class, joining sightseeing tours, or going on speed dates. At the same time, these activities are fun and engaging, and you’ll find that over time, you don’t feel that hopeless anymore.
3) Jealousy
You might not realize it, but when you see a happy couple or hear the news that a friend or relative is engaged, there’s part of you that isn’t quite ready to celebrate the good news.
It’s perfectly normal to feel a little bit jealous when someone has something that we want or desire. You find yourself comparing your situation or life to theirs and wish that you had someone special to settle down with.
It’s not that you’re constantly envious of others’ relationships; it’s just a little triggering when you hear of a new engagement or relationship.
I remember being the only one in my group of friends who didn’t have a significant other, and honestly, whenever they’d talk about their next date or what they were planning with their partners, it would hurt.
If you notice that you’re becoming increasingly jealous or irritated when you’re confronted by couples and their relationships, it could be a sign that you’re tired of being single.
4) Anxiety
What if I’m single for the rest of my life?
A sense of dread and panic comes over you in those quiet moments when you’re on your own. Perhaps you experience anxiety and panic when you see happy couples.
You may only realize that you’re struggling with being single after a long time of living independently. It’s not a fleeting feeling but one that creeps up on you when you think about spending years in solitude, and it’s upsetting.
This sense of anxiousness could lead you to avoidance behaviors where you make excuses to avoid engagements, weddings, or settings where you’ll be surrounded by couples.
Spend more time doing what you love or making time for self-care to ease anxiety, tension, and stress.
5) Frustration
You stream a movie or check on your social media, but no matter what you do, you’re confronted by endless romance!
When you’re tired of being single, you become hyper-aware of dating, relationships, and starting a family. The last thing that you need to deal with is looking at romantic couples wherever you go.
It’s frustrating, to say the least!
What’s also frustrating is feeling like you aren’t moving forward with your life because, despite your best efforts, you can’t find someone to share it with.
Becoming frustrated with your single lifestyle isn’t something to be ashamed of, and many of us have moments where we feel disheartened about our situations when they remain unchanged.
Frustration, fear, and anxiety can debilitate you if you let them take over your behaviors and emotions. The best step you can take is to focus on the present and what is in your control.
6) Fear
Are there days when you feel overwhelmed at the thought of being single for the rest of your life?
No matter how many times you put it out of your mind, every now and then, a fear that you’ll always be alone pops up.
Stop right there.
You’re telling yourself that you’ll be alone for the rest of your life, and this creates fear and anxiety. It is not your truth.
What is a fact is that you probably have many relationships, including those you share with friends and family. So while you might fear being alone, don’t discount the relationships and friendships that you already have and hold close to your heart.
7) Insecurity
You’ve dated and experienced failed relationships, and you’re at the point where you suspect that you are the problem.
Do you tell yourself…
I’m too old, I’m not any fun, I’m too stuck in my ways, or I’m just destined to be alone?
Feeling insecure is a sure sign that your single lifestyle is getting to you. As you feel frustrated and hopeless about your situation, you look within and start pointing out your imperfections and shortcomings.
The more you believe that you’re the problem or that you’ll never have someone to affirm your self-worth, the greater your insecurity becomes. Insecurity is what holds you back from pursuing activities and opportunities to meet people.
Don’t self-sabotage.
You are more than enough, just the way you are. If you are meant to find Mr. or Mrs. Right, they will come along when you least expect it. Just don’t put yourself down in the process.
8) Impatience
Why am I the only one who can’t find a meaningful relationship? It’s taking so long to find my significant other when most are already moving on with their first homes and starting families.
Dating is a tiring process, and when all you seem to experience is disappointment, it’s no wonder you’re impatient about finding your significant other.
The problem with impatience and frustration when you can’t find a lasting partnership is the pressure that you put on yourself to make your dreams and desires a reality. You put yourself out there, but there’s an expectation that comes with every date.
This pressure becomes apparent when you meet people or enter new relationships. You can’t help but hope or wonder if the next person in your life is “the one.” But such expectations only spell disaster because they influence your thoughts, emotions, and behavior.
9) Sadness
It takes a lot of effort and motivation to date. You have to deal with so many emotions, from rejection and hope to disappointment and loneliness. Ultimately, not being in a relationship where you feel valued and loved can cause persistent sadness.
And it’s not that you don’t love your life; you just have moments where you feel the weight of being single and not achieving your dream of getting married or having a family of your own.
The longer you remain single, the more it feels like you’re giving up or losing those dreams, and you go through a period of grief and heartache.
If this is how you feel sometimes or most times, your single status could be negatively affecting you.
When you think that being single is causing unhappiness, anxiety, and even loneliness in your life, it’s time to speak to someone, like a therapist, for support.
Try a change of scenery by meeting people in new places and by discovering activities that interest you and bring you joy.
Don’t forget about the relationships that are important to you, including friends and family. You can find value in building on the connections you already have with others, and that makes it easier to cope with those sad and overwhelming moments.
Most importantly, don’t give up.
