If you feel like a failure, start giving yourself credit for these 13 things

Life is hard and you don’t need to be struggling to agree, you just need to be honest.

Especially when there are certain expectations that are designed to make us feel like we aren’t doing enough if we take a break.

Which I don’t mean to spoil, is one of the things you should give yourself more credit for.

And here are 13 more to remind you that you aren’t a failure.

1) Feeling like a failure

Congratulations, it means you’re facing something all of us are afraid to face.

While it might feel like you just want to crawl into a hole and stay there forever, celebrate this moment. Force yourself if you have to.

A lot of people will do the most to stay away from this feeling. Including lying to themselves about what truly matters. 

But all they really do is give that fear more power.

2) Doing something nice for yourself

Like reading an article to help you lift your spirits. Which I’ll do my best to do.

But I just want to remind you that being kind to yourself is probably the hardest thing to do when you feel like a failure.

Personally, when I feel like a failure, I just want to give up and indulge in my self-loathing. But not you. 

Here you are, reading these words.

And I won’t judge you for indulging in that self-loathing later, but for now, here are some more kind ideas on what you can do:

  • Get yourself a nice treat. You don’t need a reason to, but being sad is a good one.
  • Vent to a trusted friend about how you feel and do not hold back.
  • Clean your room because crying in a messy room is not fun. Also stress cleaning is a great way to let your feelings out.

Now that I’ve hopefully got you feeling a little better, here are some other underrated human activities that deserve more credit.

3) Having a sense of self

Humans are social creatures. Which makes life worth living.

But like with anything, our greatest strengths are tied to our weaknesses. And it makes us susceptible to being fuelled solely by external validation.

When self-betrayal is normalized, what ends up happening is that a person’s authenticity is often overlooked.

But I think that just makes it that much more impressive.

So if you’re someone that values your individuality and is able to lead your life in the name of yourself, be proud!

Not everyone has the courage to do so.

4) Having the courage to be different

Courage, like integrity, is one of those things that has a positive connotation.

But it is rarely practiced, or maybe it’s just hard to obtain.

Because again, it means you have to face our collective fear of the unknown, and judgment.

Strangely enough, a lot of courageous people aren’t exactly fearless or all that different.

That fear might just be more of an afterthought because they feel more fulfillment from conquering their challenges than not being who they truly are.

They’d rather fail!

5) Being able to speak up for yourself

better conversationalist If you feel like a failure, start giving yourself credit for these 13 things

It’s quite a feat to be able to articulate how you feel and not doubt yourself.

Especially if you’re a woman, because we live in a culture that is designed to equate their opinions to complaints.

Not only do you need courage, but you need the mental strength to fight off all the backlash you may or may not receive.

Most people aren’t able to stand their ground because there’s always someone who thinks you should’ve stayed quiet.

It’s also an artform that takes practice – something you appreciate yourself for putting effort into.

6) Prioritizing your well-being

Sometimes, life will throw you an ultimatum where it’s either failure, or your sanity.

It really puts what failure truly is into perspective once you start valuing your well-being more.

Choosing yourself sometimes means you have to go through financial setbacks, temporary loneliness, or a small dopamine rush.

And it’s not easy to say “no” to well-known vices that we are all tempted by. In fact, it speaks a whole lot about your priorities. 

It’s also not something that people will pat you on the back for unless they also have the willpower of steel.

7) Being a compassionate person

Shifting gears, just as it’s admirable to value yourself, it’s just as admirable to value others.

It’s partially because compassion requires you to understand that everyone is capable of feeling everything.

Empathy requires you to not run away from yourself, and that’s an accomplishment.

But you also deserve the credit because the truth about being genuinely kind is that you will notice the opposite of that just as much.

Still, despite the double edged sword, you know that it’s better to see the whole picture than a piece of it.

8) Having the ability to see both sides

Not only does this tell me that you’re self-aware, but that you’re patient.

If everyone ran with the first thing they felt, the world would be a lot more chaotic than it already is.

And if everyone ran with the first solution they came up with, the world would be a different place. 

It would probably be a lot less inclusive.

So if you find yourself taking a little longer to come up with a solution or make a decision, thank yourself.

Not just for you, but on behalf of your future selves.

9) Taking care of others

This one’s for all the parents and guardians. And even parents of fur-babies.

It’s exhausting to keep up with life as an adult

To be able to keep up with your own responsibilities and take care of another living being is an ability that is not given enough credit.

It should also be mentioned that you deserve more credit because while this should exempt you from feeling like a failure, it’s quite the opposite.

Because exhaustion can make you devalue your efforts. As if success is defined by how easy it should be.

Which is ironic because sometimes people will say you’re not struggling enough to be exhausted.

This is your reminder to find a moment to rest, but also that your mind can play tricks on you if you don’t.

10) Resting

habits of emotionally intelligent people that foster better relationships 1 If you feel like a failure, start giving yourself credit for these 13 things

If learning about meditation has taught me anything, it’s that it’s hard to quiet the human mind.

Let alone sit in that quiet place even if I’m not trying to meditate.

Resting can be sleeping, practicing mindfulness, watching TV, or anything that lets you just be.

Sure, it deserves more credit because it can be hard if you’re a workaholic. But I also think giving something credit can help it hold more value. 

And less like something to put on the backburner.

So maybe instead of giving yourself the credit, give this one to the power of rest.

11) Taking care of your environment

I mean this quite literally if you are someone that cares for our planet.

Especially in a world of fake news, people would rather stay ignorant than face reality.

But I also mean this in a sense where I think you deserve more credit if you can offer your kindness to your community. And beyond.

For example, maybe you volunteer, or stay in the know about social issues.

Like I mentioned earlier, being compassionate requires you to see all aspects of life. Which in this case, means you have the courage to see the ugly side of the world.

And not only are you not running away, you’re willing to fight for those that can’t fight for themselves!

It’s not always glorious, and there aren’t any riches guaranteed. But it’s commendable that you understand that none of that is going to matter if the world doesn’t change.

12) Having a hobby that you enjoy

To me a hobby is anything that speaks to my inner child, 6 senses or anything I’d describe as “fun” and nothing else.

And I believe it demonstrates how you are able to have a duality where seriousness and fun can coexist.

I also find it commendable because it’s hard to feel like it’s enough to just enjoy something.

Sometimes, I feel like if it isn’t making me money, making me stronger or helping others, it’s a waste of time.

But it’s not true! 

I was born to enjoy life and escape manmade expectations once in a while. 

And so were you!

13) Making it to the end of this post!

Because why not?

The more I think about it, the more I feel like failure isn’t an actual state of being as much as it is a feeling.

Meaning it’s temporary!

Which means it’s a reaction to your circumstances, not a true reflection of you.

We live in a world that uses a person’s net worth to determine their value. Kind of ridiculous, isn’t it?

So if you’re able to view yourself and your worth through multiple lenses, you’re the farthest thing from a failure.

In fact, I’d say you’re everything but.

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Tina Fey

Tina Fey

I've ridden the rails, gone off track and lost my train of thought. I'm writing for Ideapod to try and find it again. Hope you enjoy the journey with me.

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