I’m not going to say anything droll or cheesy like ‘Chin up, buttercup, it’ll get better soon,’ because here at Ideapod, we’re all about leaving toxic positivity behind and embracing the real world.
And the truth is that life isn’t always sunshine and rainbows.
If you’re experiencing a particularly gloomy period, I’m sending my love your way. Maybe the usual pep talks and gratitude lists aren’t cutting it.
If so, it’s time for a different approach.
Instead of focusing on what to add to your life, let’s explore what to subtract.
Because there are likely some sneaky habits that are silently chipping away at your happiness, leaving you feeling hollow and unfulfilled.
By ditching the 9 culprits covered below, you might just rediscover that spark of joy you thought was lost forever.
Read on!
1) Doomscrolling
When your head feels like it’s out to get you, it’s easy to get stuck in a cycle of trying to quell any natural thought with…noise.
Headphones blasting teen angst music, podcast after podcast after podcast, fingers robotically scrolling through reels. Before you know it, it’s 4 am and you’re wide-eyed and twitching.
But think of it this way: What you consume online isn’t so different to what you eat and drink on a daily basis.
And how poorly would you feel if you only ate tangy sweets and cigarettes, all day everyday? (Very poorly indeed, I’d imagine!)
Don’t get me wrong, staying informed is important.
But, a constant diet of doom can trigger anxiety and depression.
Set limits on your news consumption, curate your social media feeds to follow positive accounts, and make a conscious effort to balance the negative with uplifting content.
2) Shoulda-coulda-woulda
That relentless inner critic who tells you you should be thinner, richer, more successful?
Who whispers statements like…
“Imagine how life would’ve turned out differently if you finished your degree?”
“You might have been so happy and content if you just stayed with your ex!”
“If you were kinder to your parents, you might not hate yourself so much now!”
Yeah, it’s time to whip out a muzzle and silence that voice.
The ‘shoulds’ and the ‘what-ifs’ create unrealistic expectations and keep your feet firmly cemented down in a perpetual sense of inadequacy.
It’s time to start embracing your flaws, celebrating your quirks, and focusing on self-acceptance rather than chasing some elusive ideal.
3) One day…maybe someday…
“But not today. I’m too tired today.”
Dreaming of future happiness while neglecting the present is a recipe for dissatisfaction.
That trip you’ll take “one day,” the book you’ll write “one day,” the hobby you’ll pick up “one day” – they’ll never happen if you don’t actively make them happen.
Even if you don’t feel completely prepared, even if you’re scared of failure, be brave, be ballsy, and do it!
The more you procrastinate, the more you delay and end up berating yourself in the process.
Break down those big goals into smaller, actionable steps, and start today!
4) As grudgy as the Grinch
As tempting as it is to hold onto old wounds and schlep resentment around in a knapsack, it’s like drinking poison and expecting the other person to get sick.
It festers within you, stealing your joy and peace of mind, while really not doing the cause of your sorrows too much harm.
Now, forgiveness doesn’t mean condoning the offense and telling the other person that however they hurt you was okay…
But it does mean freeing yourself from the emotional burden.
You don’t even have to say sorry to their face – you can let go of your ill-will in your heart and forgive them privately.
To aid you in sorting through those messy feelings, consider therapy or journaling to work through your emotions and forge your own path to forgiveness.
5) Ignoring spidey-senses
That nagging feeling in your gut?
It’s not indigestion (unless you had those dodgy tacos for lunch again…)
It’s your intuition trying to guide you. Take heed!
We often ignore it in favor of logic or societal expectations, but tuning into your intuition can lead to better decisions and greater happiness.
Even though it may seem daunting, try and trust yourself. You’ll be surprised at what mysteries your gut feelings and intuition can unravel!
6) Living off a validation diet
Mmmm, no doomscrolling for dinner today!
No, instead we’re serving up validation on a silver platter.
If you’re going through tough times and have resorted to posting excessively on social media…
Or trying a little too hard to please those around you (not out of kindness or care, but purely because their attention quietens your mind for a minute), I don’t blame you.
But it’s best you nip validation-seeking behavior in the bud, before it sinks its talons too far into your life.
Outside validation is hardly a healthy diet to live on, especially if that validation comes in the form of selfie likes, thumbs up emojis, and other vacuous replies.
It might be hard to see all the goodness inside of you if you’re battling some demons, but I promise, you’re worth far more than you think.
Base your self-worth on your own values and accomplishments, not on likes, comments, or external validation.
And remember, true happiness comes from within!
7) Neglecting self-care
You don’t have to be going all-out cucumber slices, rose-scented bubble baths and mani-pedis galore.
But answer these honestly:
- When was the last time you washed your hair?
- Have you been brushing your teeth morning and night?
- Have you been eating well (healthy, with some treats in moderation)?
- Have you been winding down and getting ample rest and sleep?
Because sometimes, when our mood is low, our ability to care for ourselves falters and wanes.
This then feeds into a cycle of negativity whereby you feel awful, you’re not taking care of yourself, and you lose any remaining energy for self-care. Rinse and repeat.
So, if you’re aware that your self-care habits have fallen off the priority list, it’s time to rein them back in and get caring.
Think of yourself as a sturdy little houseplant.
Sure, you can go a few weeks without water and sunshine, but those leaves will start to wilt and furl.
Start small, and work your way back up to feeling good with small acts of self-care. Your body will thank you for it!
8) Back to the past (or off to the future!)
While learning from the past and planning for the future is important, getting stuck in either can rob you of present joy.
And the unfortunate downside of rough patches is that we begin to ruminate, often anchoring ourself in the past (dwelling on all those times gone by, particularly the ‘what-ifs)…
Or we think only of the possibilities the future might bring (as we covered in point 3.)
Mindfulness practices like meditation or simply focusing on your senses can help you anchor yourself in the present moment and appreciate the beauty of right now.
Because the world might not seem all too beautiful at the moment, but if you practice appreciating the ordinary, you’ll be surprised to see how much more goodness you find in the world.
9) Living in a den of energy vampires
You know those people who leave you feeling drained and depleted?
They’re energy vampires, sucking the joy out of your life.
It might be tough, but if you’re going through a rough patch, consider those in your close circle.
Are they helping, or are they…hindering?
Distancing yourself from negative influences can be a game-changer for your happiness.
And whilst bouts of depression or sadness are never cause to start culling your friendships, consider whether you’re letting any toxic individuals too close to your heart.
Leaving these energy-sucking individuals behind can do wonders for your state of mind!
How to be happy
So, there you have it – a guide to ditching those pesky habits that might be dimming your shine.
Remember, happiness isn’t a constant state of euphoria, but rather a choice we make every day.
It’s about letting go of what doesn’t serve us and creating space for the good stuff.
By bidding farewell to these habits, you’re not just saying goodbye to negativity; you’re welcoming in a renewed sense of possibility and joy.
This might not be an overnight transformation, and that’s okay.
It is, after all, a journey – not a race.
Be kind to yourself along the way, celebrate small victories, and don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it.
You’re stronger than you think, and you deserve to experience a life filled with light, laughter, and genuine happiness.
