I think we can all agree that trusting others is one of the pillars of society. I mean, we do it every day the second we step out of our homes, and we count on others not to run us over with their car.
But when it comes to personal and professional relationships. How do we know we can trust someone?
Luckily, untrustworthy people often use certain phrases that help us estimate their level of reliability and trust.
So, without further delay, let’s find out what they are!
1) “It’s not my fault…”
People who frequently deflect blame with this phrase tend to distance themselves from any wrongdoing. They simply never want to take responsibility for their actions.
When someone refuses to take responsibility for their actions, they’re basically building a wall between you and them.
Trust is like the glue that holds relationships together, and when it erodes, it becomes tough to rely on that person.
These people don’t understand that it’s essential to own up to slip-ups and work together to fix things.
That’s what strengthens trust in the long run. Unlike this next phrase:
2) “I can’t remember…”
When someone often says, “I can’t remember…” it reminds me of when a friend frequently forgets their wallet when it’s their turn to pay for lunch.
You start to wonder if they’re being forgetful or if there’s something else going on.
In conversations, this phrase can be a sign that the person is dodging responsibility or trying to sidestep past actions or commitments.
It’s a bit like avoiding those awkward moments when they need to admit they didn’t keep their word.
So, while forgetting occasionally is perfectly normal, using this phrase too often can make others question whether it’s genuine forgetfulness or a way to escape accountability.
3) “I’m not one to gossip, but…”
When a person starts a sentence with, “I’m not one to gossip, but…” it’s an unmistakable red flag.
They’re trying to lower your guard, making you believe they’re not into spilling the beans about others.
But what often follows is a juicy piece of gossip or sensitive information.
This makes you wonder if they’re really someone you can trust with your secrets, as they might not be great at keeping things hush-hush.
4) “It’s not what it looks like…”
In everyday life, this phrase often pops up when someone is caught doing something they probably shouldn’t be doing, like eating the last slice of cake when they promised to save it for you.
Picture a situation where someone says, “It’s not what it looks like…” What they’re really saying is, “Hey, don’t jump to conclusions!”
It’s like when you walk into a room and you see the person hastily hiding something behind their back.
When you ask what’s going on, they say, “It’s not what it looks like…”
5) “I’m not in a position to…”
Using this phrase is a classic dodge move. Instead of saying, “I don’t want to” or “I’m not up for it,” they make it seem like the task or commitment is Mission Impossible.
This implies they’re not too keen on putting in effort, and that’s frustrating when you’re just looking for some teamwork or simple help.
So, if you spot this phrase often, you might be dealing with someone who’s a bit reluctant to roll up their sleeves and get to work.
6) “It’s not about the money, but…”
People who use this phrase may downplay their financial motivations when, in reality, money is a significant factor.
If your friend insists, “It’s not about the money, but I have this amazing investment opportunity,” they’re probably downplaying the fact that they’re aiming to make a good profit with your money.
This raises questions about their honesty and transparency about the financial aspects of the deal.
They’re hiding their true motivations behind a veil of altruism, which can make you wonder if they’re being straightforward about their intentions.
7) “I’m not trying to be rude, but…”
This phrase is sometimes used as a disclaimer before making critical or offensive comments.
When someone starts a sentence with “I’m not trying to be rude, but…,” they’re putting on a polite mask before they say something that might not be so nice.
They’re basically saying, “I’m about to say something that could be hurtful, but I want to sound polite about it.”
8) “It’s not that big of a deal…”
People use this phrase to downplay the significance of a situation. But when used too frequently, it shows insensitivity to the concerns of others.
For example, let’s say you’re upset about something, and you open up to a friend. Instead of listening and empathizing, they immediately go, “Come on, it’s not that big of a deal.”
While they might mean well, if this happens too often, you might start to feel like they don’t value or understand your feelings.
They’re being insensitive to your worries or issues.
9) “I’m not a fan of drama, but…”
When someone uses this phrase, they’re about to do something that provokes conflict or drama despite claiming otherwise.
They’re the type of person who walks into a room and announces, “I don’t like spicy food, but I’ll have the hottest curry you’ve got.”
In reality, they’re gearing up for a drama-filled discussion or situation, even though they just said they don’t like drama.
They’re basically putting on a cloak of innocence while actually diving headfirst into the very thing they claim to avoid.
So, be ready for some fireworks when you hear that phrase.
10) “I couldn’t find the time to…”
Now, we all have busy lives, right? But if this phrase becomes a constant excuse, it proves they’re not making your needs a priority.
It’s like when your friend always cancels plans because they “couldn’t find the time” – it can make you wonder if they’re really reliable or if they’re just not making an effort.
So, it’s kind of a red flag for someone who probably isn’t the most dependable when you need them.
11) “I’m not usually like this, but…”
When someone says, “I’m not usually like this, but…” it’s like they’re giving themselves a free pass for acting out of character.
But here’s the thing: using this phrase sometimes feels insincere. It’s as if the person is aware that what they’re about to do or say isn’t great, but they’re still going ahead with it.
They’re using it as a way to avoid taking full responsibility for their actions.
12) “I couldn’t possibly have known…”
This is a phrase people use to shrug off the responsibility for not being up to date on something or not having a clue about an event.
They’re saying, “Hey, it’s not my fault I didn’t know!”
However, using this phrase can mean that they aren’t really eager to stay in the loop or take the initiative to find out.
They’re avoiding doing a quick Google search or asking questions to stay informed. It shows a lack of curiosity or a reluctance to be in the know.
And when you’re faced with the judge, not knowing something isn’t a get-out-of-jail-free card!
13) “It’s not in my job description…”
This phrase often shows a reluctance to pitch in beyond what’s explicitly required, which can make it seem like you’re not eager to be a team player, for example.
In everyday life, it’s like someone refusing to lend a hand when it’s needed or hesitating to take on additional tasks, even if it could help out and make things run more smoothly.
While sticking to your job description is important, being flexible and helpful can make you a more valued and reliable team member.
In the end, it’s easy to see someone isn’t trustworthy. Their words and actions reveal their real personality sooner rather than later.