Ryan Frawley
In one way or another, we are all intelligent people.
But have you ever stopped to think that there are different kinds of intelligence?
Emotional intelligence, sometimes known as EQ or EI, is the ability to both express and to control your emotions and also to understand the emotions of others.
And it turns out, when it comes to living a happy and productive life, it’s like a superpower.
There are a few signs that can tell you if you’re dealing with an emotionally intelligent person. Maybe you are one yourself.
Take a look at the phrases below that can tip you off to the fact you’re dealing with a highly emotionally intelligent person.
1) “What did you think about that?”
People with a high emotional IQ often have a strong sense of self.
That means they don’t need the approval of others to boost their own sense of self-worth.
At the same time, people with a high EQ often take other people’s opinions into account. In fact, they will often ask for the opinions of those around them with phrases like this.
That’s because emotionally intelligent people understand that it makes people feel good to know that their opinions matter.
Also, they are self-aware enough to know that they don’t have all the answers, and that getting opinions from a broad range of people can help them come to a better solution to any problem.
To be clear, emotionally intelligent people don’t need your approval. But they are perfectly capable of and willing to ask your opinion before making up their minds.
2) “How does that make you feel?”
Emotionally intelligent people know that emotions are important.
And they are experts at putting themselves in the place of others and understanding how they feel.
To make this even more effective, people with high EQ will often directly ask you how you feel.
This usually comes up during conversations about emotional topics, and is one of the many ways that people with high emotional intelligence show their support for the people they care about.
No wonder emotionally intelligent people are often well-liked among their peer group. It’s because they genuinely care about others and take the time to understand their feelings.
3) “I’m so happy for you!”
Emotionally intelligent people are as happy for the success of others as they are for themselves.
Here’s why: people with high EQ don’t consider themselves in competition with anyone. Instead, they want everyone to succeed. And that is even more true for the people closest to them.
If you have a friend, partner, or family member who is your biggest cheerleader in life, chances are good that they have high emotional intelligence.
And if you find yourself performing that role for others, it’s probably because you are an emotionally intelligent person.
4) “Tell me more about that”
Curiosity can be a sign of both intellectual and emotional intelligence. And lots of people possess a good mix of both.
Emotionally intelligent people are relentlessly curious and love to learn new things. Also, they don’t let a false sense of pride stop them from admitting when they don’t know something.
If you have an area of expertise or passion that they find interesting, an emotionally intelligent person will ask you for more details about it so they can learn from you.
This is one of the many ways in which emotionally intelligent people make those around them feel good. But that’s not necessarily why they do it. Often, it’s motivated by nothing other than their natural curiosity about the world around them.
5) “Speaking from experience…”
We’ve all met those people who make every conversation about themselves.
That’s not a sign of an emotionally intelligent person.
However, people with high EQ will often give you advice or provide support by referring to their own experience.
The difference is, they only do it if it’s relevant to what you’re telling them. And the goal is not to try to make themselves seem better.
Instead, the aim is to help you relate to each other more easily.
6) “I’m sorry you had to go through that”
Emotionally intelligent people possess deep empathy. That means they can feel what other people feel.
That’s why, if you share something that has hurt you with a person with high EQ, they will invariably show you that they care with phrases like this.
And the best part is, they mean it, too.
7) “Sorry”
A good apology is almost an art form in itself.
Emotionally intelligent people do not see apologizing as a sign of weakness. Instead, they appreciate the opportunity for personal growth that it is.
They also know that a well-timed apology can go a long way to making the people around them feel more comfortable.
If a person with high EQ has made a mistake, they will have no problem admitting it, apologizing, and moving on.
8) “Here’s how we can make this better”
As I said earlier, people with high EQ will often commiserate with you when something bad happens.
But that’s not all.
Also, they often tend to be solutions-oriented.
Sometimes, there’s no cure for feeling a certain way except time. But if there is something you can do about a situation, rely on a person with high emotional intelligence to help you find a practical solution.
9) “How can I help?”
Emotionally intelligent people love to help others. That’s why you’ll often find them using phrases like this.
Here’s why: emotionally intelligent people understand that they are not the center of the universe. They know that other people’s lives and feelings are just as valid as their own.
That’s why they actively look for ways to help others whenever they can.
Are you an emotionally intelligent person?
Emotions are something we all feel. But how we respond to emotion, both our own and those of others, defines whether we are emotionally intelligent people or not.
People who say things like the phrases listed above generally have abnormally high emotional intelligence. Whether it’s you or someone you know, you’re lucky to have someone like that in your life.
