If someone uses these 8 phrases in conversation, they’re probably an insecure person

Insecurity should be a forbidden word! It serves absolutely no purpose in your life, and at the end of the day, it puts you in a mental prison that just makes you miserable. 

But the truth is that many of us have experienced some type of insecurity in our lives, and no matter how we try to hide it, our low self-esteem tends to rear its ugly head when we least expect it. 

And one of the ways it appears is in our conversations with others. The words we choose in particular situations reveal a lot about how we feel about ourselves, from how we view our self-worth to how we see the world. 

One thing’s for sure: it would help if you could tell whether you or someone you know is affected by insecurity and how to deal with it. 

So, if someone uses these 8 phrases in conversation, they’re probably an insecure person. 

1) “I’m so stupid.”

You think so little of yourself that when something goes wrong, you feel stupid and can’t do anything right. 

It’s not a one-off statement, either. You do it every time you make a mistake, and eventually, you believe it. 

As soon as you think that you’re to blame or at fault, you go into default mode and tell yourself or someone else that you’re stupid or a fool. 

It’s a toxic “go-to” for someone who’s insecure and one of the worst self-beliefs that you can have. 

This attitude serves no purpose, and if this is you, you need to work on changing the way you handle failure. 

Rather than focus on being at fault, you can say, “Okay, I made a mistake; I’ll have to look out for this in the future.”

Instead of coming from a place of self-sabotage, you focus on future personal growth and building yourself up. 

2) “I’m sorry I’m being so emotional.”

You feel the way you do for a reason, so don’t ever apologize for your emotions. 

When you apologize for being too emotional, you’re telling yourself and the other person that it’s wrong to feel the way you do. It’s like placing your emotions in a cage, where they should always be locked away and never shared with anyone. 

In a relationship, wearing your heart on your sleeve is good because you’re willing to be vulnerable, and you have no qualms about showing your partner how you really feel. 

By constantly saying sorry when you’re upset, you stop yourself and your partner from thinking that it’s healthy to be open and honest. 

To avoid coming across as insecure, let the other person know that you appreciate their support. As I mentioned previously, don’t hide your emotions or feel bad about it, especially when sharing your personal story with someone else. 

3) “I just can’t do anything right.” 

This comes back to calling yourself stupid or worthless. You made a mistake, and it’s the end of the world. You have a pessimistic and give-up attitude that stems from insecurity. 

Insecurity casts a dark cloud over our strengths, and all we see are our shortcomings. 

This is the very reason I mentioned removing the word insecurity from our vocabulary. Telling yourself that you can’t do things properly or get them right is a sure way to undermine yourself. 

When I hear someone say this in conversation, I instantly get the impression that they have no faith in themselves and that they’re quitters. 

People who say this might not even be aware that it’s considered a toxic phrase. 

Again, the more you tell yourself that you aren’t good at anything, the more you believe it. It’s time to change your mindset, and that means working on the fact that mistakes happen. When we fail, it’s not a reflection of who we are but a natural part of life. 

We can learn from situations that don’t work out and move forward rather than blame ourselves and feel miserable about it. 

4) “Let me know if it’s okay.”

phrases that show youre insecure If someone uses these 8 phrases in conversation, they’re probably an insecure person

Insecure people will ask if what they did is okay or acceptable because they’re seeking validation from the other person. 

We all want to know that something is acceptable, but if we keep asking, it makes us appear unsure of ourselves. In the workplace, repeatedly asking if something is good enough doesn’t instill confidence in your colleagues and employer. 

Yes, it’s nice to know that a project you’ve worked on is approved or something you did gets praised, but you won’t always get the reassurance that you want when you want it. 

A better approach is to build confidence in yourself and know that whatever you put out there, you’ve done to the best of your abilities. 

5) “I’m so sorry to bother you.”

“Sorry to trouble you” or “sorry to bother you” might seem like a polite phrase when you’re asking for someone’s help, but when you overuse the word “sorry,” you’re simply apologizing for seeking advice, and that’s not necessary. 

Saying sorry from the start of the conversation already places the other person in a higher position than you. You don’t have to be scared to ask someone for their advice or assistance. What’s the worst that could happen? 

They could say no, and you would say, “Thank you for your time,” and move on. 

It’s not the end of the world. 

To sound more assertive, you should walk up to them and say, “Hi, can you help me?” or “I’d like to know if you can help me.” Only use the word sorry if you’re sincerely apologizing

These are simple ways of reaching out without apologizing for assistance. 

6) “I tried, but it didn’t work.”

On the surface, it doesn’t seem like there’s much wrong with this phrase; however, when it comes from a place of insecurity, it’s usually because of fear. 

If you aren’t assertive, you tend to do things that you feel are safe. 

Don’t get me wrong, being safe is comforting, and I’ve been in many situations where I’ve been too scared to pursue a new venture because I thought I would fail. 

In most cases, insecure individuals will say that they’ve tried when they’ve barely attempted to do something. Rather than be pushed in a new direction, they have a defeatist attitude by saying it didn’t work or that a particular idea is silly and won’t work. 

It’s easier to get someone off your back by saying that you tried and your idea or strategy just didn’t work without opening yourself up to new suggestions. It’s typical avoidance that comes from insecurity. 

7) “Why do these things happen to me?”

People who avoid eye contact typically have these insecurities 1 If someone uses these 8 phrases in conversation, they’re probably an insecure person

When bad things happen, it’s only natural to feel completely overwhelmed and upset. But the difference between someone confident and someone insecure is that a confident person will accept their circumstances and not fall into a hole of self-pity

Confident people also don’t believe that everything always goes wrong in their lives or that they’re the only ones to experience tough times. 

They don’t adopt a victim mentality. 

Unfortunately, insecurity leads you to believe that you’re fighting against the world, and nothing seems to work in your favor. These feelings and perceptions are usually reinforced when bad things do actually happen. 

Some people who repeatedly encounter stressful or challenging situations experience learned helplessness, in which they believe that only negative things happen to them. It creates frustration, insecurity, and low self-esteem. 

The only way to break this pessimistic cycle is to change your mindset. How can you overcome the obstacle and move forward? 

Whether you or a friend, if you use the phrase, “Why does this always happen to me?” it’s a sure sign of insecurity. 

8) “Why would anyone want me?”

When it comes to relationships, we tend to hit ourselves the hardest with self-criticism. Something goes wrong, and of course, we question our worth. 

“Why would anyone want to be with me?” or “Who would choose me?” 

These are self-deprecating views that are harsh and unnecessary. The irony is that we often use these phrases jokingly in conversation so that it doesn’t sound too harsh; meanwhile, back at the ranch, you really feel like you have no value. 

Relationships are challenging, but when you don’t find the right connection or go through a breakup, it shouldn’t define your self-worth

Don’t allow failure to affect your self-esteem, and certainly don’t put your worth in the hands of someone else. It will only lead to endless disappointment because your worth should come from within. 

Final thoughts

There’s no doubt that insecurity leads to unhelpful ways of thinking that leave us doubting our abilities or questioning our worth. It’s not something that I would wish on my worst enemy, and it takes quite a lot of work to overcome and build a healthy sense of self

Some of these 9 phrases that we use in conversation as insecure people can make people see us as less than capable in our job. Friends and family might walk on eggshells around us for fear of hurting our feelings. 

And if you hear one or more of these phrases from a colleague or friend, try to be patient with them. Rather than take offense or see them as weak, you’ll recognize their insecurity, and as difficult as it is, show your support and kindness. 

Picture of Marcel Deer

Marcel Deer

Marcel is a journalist, gamer, and entrepreneur. When not obsessing over his man cave or the latest tech, he’s failing helplessly at training his obnoxious rescue dog ‘Boogies’.

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