If someone uses these 7 phrases in a conversation, their social skills need some work

Ever been to a party and met that one person who just seems to have a knack for saying all the wrong things?

You try to engage in a normal conversation with them, but they have this uncanny ability to make it awkward—fast.

I found myself in this situation recently, and let me tell you, it was not fun.

I ran into a friend at the party and they complimented my new haircut, but then followed it up with, “You look so different—are you sure it suits you?” 

Like, what on earth am I meant to say to that?

It left me feeling… off. 

But that’s life, hey? There are these people in the wild who seem to have a real talent for rubbing people the wrong way without even realizing it.

Here are seven phrases people who need to work on their people skills, might drop in conversation. Starting with a classic one.

1) “It’s just a joke, don’t be so sensitive.”

You’re with a group of lovely friends, exchanging banter and having a good time. 

Suddenly, someone makes a comment that hits a nerve for you. You feel a little hurt, and maybe it shows.

Now, imagine another friend saying, “It’s just a joke, don’t be so sensitive.” Ever heard that line before? 

When people drop this line, they’re essentially playing the “chill out” card. They might not realize that what they said actually stung a bit. 

Everyone’s sensitivity level is different. What’s a harmless tease for one person might feel like a low blow to another. 

Saying, “It’s just a joke,” can be a way to avoid taking responsibility for the impact of their words.

Now, I get it. We all want to have a good time without walking on eggshells. 

However, good social skills involve understanding the vibes of the room and respecting everyone’s comfort zones, and a little empathy goes a long way. 

Being funny might be cool, but being kind is king.

2) “You look different. Have you put on weight?”

Ever had someone say to you, “You look different. Have you put on weight?” 

Newsflash: commenting on someone’s weight is never okay, folks!

If someone hits you with this line, hopefully, it’s likely not meant to be mean. Maybe they have no filter, or maybe, very little social skills.

They might just need a huge reminder that weight talk is off-limits. 

3) “Aren’t you the life of the party?”

When someone throws out the “Well, aren’t you the life of the party?” line, it’s like they’re making power play.

This sarcastic gem is all about control and trying to set the tone of the conversation.

It’s a way to deflect attention from their own feelings of discomfort or insecurity by making it seem like you didn’t live up to their expectations.

It’s almost as if they’re trying to dictate how you should respond, and when you don’t, they use sarcasm as a shield to mask any vulnerability.

So next time someone drops this line on you, just remember, it’s not about you not being the life of the party—it’s about them trying to tweak the social scene in their favor.

4) “You’re better looking when you smile.”

First off, nobody likes being told what to do, right? And that involves being told to smile.

It might come off as totally pushy, and people generally want to express their emotions on their terms.

Plus, by saying: “You’re better looking when they smile” they’re unintentionally implying that the person isn’t attractive or appealing when they’re not grinning from ear to ear. Ouch! 

It’s all about respecting personal boundaries and letting people be themselves. 

So, let’s allow those authentic smiles shine through when they’re ready. 

5) “Try lightening up once in a while.”

“Try lightening up once in a while.” can be such a rude and presumptuous thing to say.

Why? Let’s break it down.

It’s like they’re assuming you’re stuck in a perpetual gloomy cloud, and they’ve magically discovered the secret to happiness. 

It also implies that your current state of mental wellbeing isn’t up to their standards. 

Um, who made them the judge of good vibes? (You can actually ask them that in response!)

Imagine if you told someone to lighten up when they’re actually dealing with some heavy stuff behind the scenes.

In a nutshell, saying this phrase is presumptuous, judgmental, and lacks the empathy needed in social situations. 

6) “Don’t go and get offended.”

The phrase “Don’t get offended” isn’t nice as it assumes that the other person is incapable of handling different opinions or perspectives. 

Like…excuse me. I can handle my emotions just fine, thank you very much!

Plus, it’s kind of dismissive. It’s as if they’re waving off any valid feelings you might have in response to whatever they’ve dropped. 

Instead of building understanding and empathy, this person has set the stage for defensiveness. 

No one wants to feel like their emotions are an inconvenience.

7) “Why don’t you just have a drink?”

So, you’re hanging out with friends, having a nice time, and then someone says to you: “Why don’t you just have a drink?” 

Sounds harmless, right? Well…quite.

Maybe you’re trying to stay true to your decision not to drink, whether it’s for personal, health, or any other reasons. 

It’s like someone throwing a curveball at your game plan. 

This phrase assumes everyone should conform to the same choices and standards. But guess what? Life isn’t a one-size-fits-all kind of thing.

Saying something like this shows a lack of understanding and respect for others’ choices. 

Instead of pressuring someone to do something they’re not comfortable with, they’d respect their decision and find other ways to connect and have fun.

And about peer pressure, let’s be crystal clear—it’s never okay. 

True friends don’t push you into doing things you’re not comfortable with. 

Cheers to respecting each other’s choices and keeping the good vibes flowing!

Final thoughts

To sum things up, this handful of phrases is by no means exhaustive, but it’s a pretty good start in underscoring the need for working on people skills. 

Besides, social interactions go beyond mere words—they demand a genuine appreciation of others’ emotions and a commitment to building positive communication. 

The dismissive undertones of expressions like “It’s just a joke” or “Try lightening up” betray a lack of empathy and an evasion of responsibility. 

Plus remarks about appearance or personal choices, as exemplified by “You look different. Have you put on weight?” or “Why don’t you just have a drink?” indicate a major disregard for boundaries. 

Conversation isn’t just about having a laugh, it takes a whole load of kindness and consideration. 

Recognizing diverse sensitivities and steering clear of assumptions are key. 

As we navigate social situations, let’s aspire to conversations that uplift, understanding that genuine connections thrive on empathy, respect, and a shared commitment to cultivating positivity.

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Tina Fey

Tina Fey

I've ridden the rails, gone off track and lost my train of thought. I'm writing for Ideapod to try and find it again. Hope you enjoy the journey with me.

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