We all strive for a bit of confidence, don’t we?
I mean, who wouldn’t want to walk into a room and feel completely comfortable with themselves?
But let’s be real. Going through life with absolute certainty is not something that comes easily to everyone.
True self-confidence is rare. It’s not about simply believing you’re great. It goes much deeper than that.
Do you ever find yourself wondering if you’ve got it?
Well, you’re not alone.
And you’ll be surprised to know that there’s a good chance you have more self-confidence than you think.
I’m not here to convince you that you’re brimming with self-assurance when you’re not – if that’s the case, there’s work to be done.
But I will share traits many tend to overlook.
You may discover that you have come much further than you thought.
1) They’re not afraid to be wrong
I remember in my early career, I was terrified of being wrong. I thought it would make me look incompetent, that people would think less of me. But I’ve learned something crucial over the years – being wrong is part of the journey.
True self-confidence isn’t about always having the right answers. It’s about being okay with not knowing, and open to learning. The truly confident individuals I’ve met over the years aren’t afraid to admit when they’re wrong. They see it as an opportunity to learn and grow, rather than a blow to their ego.
For instance, my mentor, a successful entrepreneur, once made a significant misstep in a business strategy. Instead of denying or justifying it, he openly admitted it in a company-wide meeting. He said, “I messed up, and here’s what I’ve learned from it.” Now, that’s confidence.
2) They embrace failure
I recall a time when I was working on a major project at work. I’d poured my heart and soul into it, but despite my best efforts, the project tanked. It was very frustrating and for a moment, I felt like a failure.
But then I realized something – failure isn’t the opposite of success, it’s part of it. They say that failure is not really about making mistakes or being wrong, but not trying at all, and I couldn’t agree more.
Those with genuine self-confidence understand this. They don’t view failure as a catastrophe but as an essential stepping stone on their path to success. They learn from their mistakes and use them to propel themselves forward.
Many successful entrepreneurs mention it in their speeches: people often know them for their successes, but are unaware of all the failures they have experienced and the work they have put in.
3) They don’t seek approval from others
Now, this is an interesting one. You see, self-confident people are guided by their own values and principles.
They don’t feel the need for validation or approval from others to feel good about their choices or actions.
This can also be observed in today’s world of social media. A study from Cornell University indicates that people with a sense of purpose are less affected by the number of “likes” they receive on social media, maintaining consistent self-esteem regardless of online approval, as they do not rely on external validation to feel good about themselves.
In essence, truly self-confident people are comfortable in their own skin and don’t let the opinions of others sway them from their path.
They know that they can’t please everyone, and they’re okay with that. They seek their own approval first and foremost.
4) They practice self-compassion
When things go wrong, confident people don’t dwell on them or berate themselves. Instead, they treat themselves with the same kindness that she would extend to a friend in the same situation.
They understands that being tough on themselves won’t make them better or stronger, but being kind to themselves will. And that’s a lesson we could all stand to learn.
5) They set healthy boundaries
There was a time in my life when I struggled to say ‘no’. I would take on more work than I could handle, agree to plans I didn’t want to be a part of, and let people treat me in ways I wasn’t comfortable with.
I thought being agreeable and accommodating would make people like me more, but all it did was leave me feeling exhausted and undervalued.
Then one day, I decided to change. I started setting boundaries. It felt uncomfortable at first, like I was letting people down. But over time, I realized that setting boundaries didn’t make me selfish or unkind—it allowed me to respect my own needs and well-being.
Now, when someone asks me for something that I can’t or don’t want to give, I say no—politely, but firmly. And guess what? People didn’t like me less; they respected me more.
That’s the thing about truly self-confident people—they understand the value of their time and energy, and they’re not afraid to set limits.
They know that saying no to others sometimes means saying yes to themselves.
6) They celebrate other people’s successes
A remarkable trait I’ve noticed among truly self-confident people is their ability to celebrate others achievements without feeling threatened. They don’t see someone else’s success as their failure.
I once read a quote from Malala Yousafzai, the youngest Nobel Prize laureate, who said, “When the whole world is silent, even one voice becomes powerful.” This resonated with me. It reflects how self-confident people understand that everyone has unique gifts and talents to contribute to the world.
They find joy in seeing others excel and thrive because they’re secure in their own abilities. They know their worth isn’t measured by comparing themselves to others but by their own standards.
7) They continually seek growth
Lastly, one of the most compelling traits of self-confident people is their relentless pursuit of growth. They’re not content with staying stagnant; they crave progress, knowledge, and improvement.
A few years back, I attended an online seminar by Tony Robbins, a renowned life coach and motivational speaker. He said something that really struck a chord with me: “The only impossible journey is the one you never begin.”
Self-confident people embody this spirit. They’re not afraid of stepping out of their comfort zone because they know that’s where growth happens. Even if they stumble along the way, they see it as part of the journey towards becoming better versions of themselves.
In conclusion, true self-confidence is more than just believing in yourself.
It’s about embracing failure, practicing self-compassion, setting boundaries, celebrating others’ successes, and continuously seeking personal growth. It’s a journey, not a destination— a journey well worth embarking on.