If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the years it’s that you can’t please everyone.
You can be one of the most charming, likable people in existence, yet still, there will always be a few people who dislike you, each with their unique reasoning.
Have you seen the comment section of the most wholesome of Instagram posts?
There is always an arsenal of haters spewing unsolicited hate and venom despite zero provocation.
People are complex–and not always in the greatest of ways.
So if a few individuals don’t love you, don’t sweat it.
In this article, I’ll walk you through some telltale behaviors someone might display when they have a quiet disdain for you.
Let’s get to it!
1) Lack of eye contact
Unless they’re overtly reserved around others, if a person is frequently avoiding eye contact with you, this can be very telling.
They may have an understated dislike for you, without even realizing it.
You know when you’re so upset at a person you can’t even look them in the eye since doing so can fuel your vitriol even further?
Well, the same principle applies to someone who has even a mild dislike for you.
They’ll avert your gaze, as this can make them feel just a bit more irritated and uncomfortable around you.
2) Short or curt responses
Let’s say you’re on a date and it’s going well.
You’re mutually attracted to one another, you have the same interests, and your senses of humor are in sync.
I’ll go out on a limb here and guess that you’re not giving one another monosyllabic answers.
You’re likely both animated, descriptive, and not holding back.
The opposite might be true when you’re on a bad date, you might become distant and quiet.
Sure, maybe you’ll still be polite, but it’ll eventually become evident to your date that your heart’s just not it.
Your short, unenthused, unengaged responses become dead giveaways that you’re not particularly interested in getting to know them further.
It’s not rocket science.
3) Closed body language
It’s science: the vast majority of our in-person communication is through body language and non-verbal gestures.
So when someone doesn’t particularly like you, you can fully expect some closed-off body language gestures from them in your presence.
Crossed arms, avoiding physical proximity, and constant frowning, are all clear signs that someone isn’t as into you as you may think.
Remember, when it comes to people not liking you, the “actions (and our body language) speak louder than words” rule very much applies.
4) Infrequent initiating of contact
Genuine friendships or relationships are about give and take, about balance.
If you’re constantly the one initiating contact, whether it’s starting a conversation, suggesting dinner or drinks out, giving attention and support, while they rarely or never reciprocate these gestures, you’re looking at a one-sided relationship.
This means they’re not as invested as you are, and they may not “like” you as much as you might think.
Unless you’re incredibly fortunate, I think it’s safe to say that most of us have had to deal with a one-sided dynamic in a friendship or romantic relationship at some point.
I remember dating a girl a few years ago who rarely reciprocated my gestures.
She came from a background where she was given everything she wanted growing up; she was spoiled and entitled and it showed in her actions.
I’d regularly try to appease her and make her feel special, performing thoughtful gestures, like planning a surprise party for her birthday, cooking her dinner, or treating her to food when she had a stressful day.
During the tenure of our relationship, she seldom returned the favor.
Even on “special” days like birthdays or Christmas, she never once got me a gift.
In many respects, the relationship was as inequitable as they come.
It took me a while to realize it, but when I did, I knew it was time to walk away.
5) Frequent cancellations
This is a big one.
Extreme circumstances aside, when someone you know often flakes minute (or simply doesn’t show up), this is a major red flag.
They’re telling you that their relationship with you is very low on their list of priorities.
The fact that they can cancel on you on a whim, conjuring up some creative excuse like ‘I got Covid’ or ‘my dog needs to be rushed to the vet’, is a pretty clear indication that they neither respect nor value you or the relationship.
You can let this slide once or twice, but once flaking becomes a habit, you definitely shouldn’t put up with it.
6) Not sharing personal information
When someone doesn’t like you, they’ll stay subconsciously guarded.
They’ll keep you at arm’s length, wary of you getting too close.
They might act half-animated in conversations (when they’re in a good mood.)
But don’t be fooled, if they actively keep things surface level with you, refusing to disclose remotely personal details or stories about their life, this is a fairly clear sign that you probably aren’t their favorite person in life (or even in the room.)
7) Seeming distracted
When someone likes you, they’ll often give you their undivided attention.
They’ll put their phone away, they’ll actively listen, and they’ll minimize potential distractions.
Have you ever been chatting with someone and they seem mentally elsewhere, glancing everywhere but in your direction?
This is likely intentional.
They’re just not interested in what you have to say, so they’ll allow themselves to become disengaged when you’re together.
Perhaps they’ll constantly be scrolling through social media as you try to converse with them, giving you passive, generic responses, like “That’s cool” or “That’s crazy.”
Frustrating, I know.
8) Sarcasm or mockery
Ah, microaggressions–one of our love languages when we don’t like someone.
Much of the time, when somebody dislikes you, they won’t directly insult you; nope, they don’t play that game.
Instead, they’ll use consistently sarcastic remarks or jabs, very subtly communicating their dislike or disrespect for you.
Since insulting you outright will make them look bad, they’ll hide behind “innocent” remarks and “gently” poking fun.
Go with your gut. If you feel bad whenever you’re in their presence, listen to that voice.
9) Not acknowledging your achievements
This one is particularly common among co-workers or peers of similar age and background to yours.
Remember, always be mindful and appreciative of the friends who are present, cheering you in your proudest moments in life.
And for those who have conveniently gone quiet? That silence speaks volumes
They aren’t truly happy with your achievements.
Instead, they’re likely envious or fearful of being left behind–hence they maintain a facade of indifference, and sometimes won’t even acknowledge that you’ve done well for yourself.
The latter says more about their character than anything.
Final words
If you have a hunch that someone you know dislikes you, remember, it’s their loss, not yours.
You don’t necessarily have to dive deep into what could inherently be wrong with you.
As established, sometimes people just won’t like you. It’s as simple as that.
As long as you’re human, this is pretty much unavoidable.
So continue being you, and embrace your best self, flaws, and all.
Once you stop caring what other people think, a new, exciting world will open up to you.
