If someone does these 10 things, they definitely have a hidden agenda

Ever felt like someone’s not being totally upfront with you? Like there’s a hidden meaning behind their words or actions?

We’ve all been there, trying to figure out what’s really going on.

Hidden agendas can be tricky to spot, but here’s the good news – there are signs that can help you crack the code!

So, let’s dive into 10 key things that could indicate someone has a hidden agenda.

1. They’re Not Giving You the Full Story

Alright, let’s kick things off with our first sign – being vague or evasive.

Ever had a conversation where you feel like you’re getting only half the story? Or maybe they dodge certain questions or quickly change the subject. If this is happening consistently, it might not be an accident.

Someone with a hidden agenda will often leave out key details, hoping that you won’t notice. They might even use confusing language or jargon to make things sound more complicated than they really are.

So, if someone’s always giving you the runaround instead of straight answers, keep your eyes peeled. They might be trying to hide something. 

2. They’re Overly Charming

Moving on to our second sign – excessive charm.

Now, don’t get me wrong. There’s nothing bad about being charming. But, when someone turns on the charm all the time, especially when it’s not necessary, you might want to take a closer look.


Because people with hidden agendas often use charm as a way to distract you from their true intentions.

It’s like a magician doing a trick – they want you to focus on one hand so you won’t see what the other hand is doing.

So, if you notice someone being overly sweet or flattering towards you or others, especially when it feels out of place, be aware. They might be putting up a smoke screen for their hidden agenda!

3. They’re Always In a Rush.

Let me share a personal example with you. I once had a friend who was always in a hurry.

Whether it was grabbing lunch or deciding on a movie, he was always rushing things along.

At first, I thought he was just impatient or had a busy schedule. But then I noticed he used this tactic whenever we had to make decisions.

He would push for quick decisions, often saying stuff like “We don’t have much time” or “Let’s just decide now and get it over with.”

I later realized he was doing this to prevent me and others from thinking things through because he wanted the decisions to go his way.

They could be trying to rush you into agreeing with them before you’ve had a chance to consider other options!

4. They’re Too Agreeable

Now, you might think, “What’s wrong with someone always agreeing with me?” Well, it can be a red flag.

Did you know people who agree too readily with everyone around them are often trying to win approval or avoid conflict?

That’s right! If someone always seems to share your opinions, never argues or disagrees, it could be that they’re trying to win you over for some reason.

They may be agreeing with you outwardly while harboring different thoughts and plans privately.

5. They’re Always Playing the Victim

You know, there are people out there who’ve had tough lives, and it’s only natural for us to feel sympathy for them.

But then there are those who always seem to be in the middle of some drama or crisis, always playing the victim.

They paint a picture where they’re the innocent party, and everyone else is out to get them.

It tugs on our heartstrings, and we find ourselves wanting to help them out.

But here’s the catch – sometimes, they use our sympathy as a tool to manipulate us into doing what they want.

It’s a tough pill to swallow, I know. But it’s essential to recognize this pattern because our kindness should never be exploited.

6. They’re Overly Secretive

Next up, we have sign number six – excessive secrecy.

I remember a colleague I once worked with. She was always very secretive about her work, even when there was no need for it.

She’d cover her computer screen whenever someone walked past, and took her phone calls in hushed tones or outside the office.

At first, it just seemed funny, like she was a secret agent or something. But then I realized it wasn’t just work stuff she was secretive about.

It was everything – from her lunch plans to her weekend activities.

Turns out, she had a habit of playing people off against each other to get what she wanted. Her secrecy was a way to control the flow of information.

7. They’re Constantly Criticizing Others

Nobody’s perfect. We all have flaws and make mistakes. But there’s a difference between constructive criticism and constantly tearing people down.

Some folks seem to always find faults in others, never missing an opportunity to highlight their flaws or mistakes. It’s like they’re on a mission to make everyone else look bad.

But here’s the raw truth – it’s often not about the people they’re criticizing. It’s about them trying to make themselves look better by comparison or diverting attention from their own shortcomings.

8. They Always Need to Be in Control

Did you know that people who obsessively need to control everything often do so out of insecurity and fear?

They’re scared that if they don’t control everything, things will go wrong, or they’ll be exposed.

People with hidden agendas often display this trait. They want to control situations and people to ensure their secret plans aren’t disrupted.

If someone always insists on their way, dismisses others’ ideas without consideration or gets agitated when they can’t call the shots, it’s a red flag.

They might be trying to steer everything in a direction that suits their hidden agenda!

9. They’re Unpredictable

I once had a friend who was like a rollercoaster. One minute she was the life of the party, and the next, she was as cold as ice. Her mood swings were like the weather, changing without warning.

At first, I thought she was just spontaneous or had a lot of stress in her life. But over time, I realized her unpredictability was a tactic to keep people off balance.

One moment she’d be super friendly, making you feel special, and the next, she’d become distant, leaving you confused and eager to get back to the ‘good times’. This constant shift kept everyone in her life walking on eggshells.

10. They Rarely Reciprocate

Listen, relationships are a two-way street. It doesn’t matter if it’s friendship, romance, or even a professional relationship.

There should be give and take. But some people, they’re all about the ‘take’.

They’re more than happy to accept your help, your time, your resources. But when you need a favor, they’re suddenly too busy.

Or worse, they make you feel like you’re asking for too much.

The raw and honest truth is, these people are users. They take advantage of your kindness and generosity for their own benefit without giving anything back. And that’s not okay.

So if you find yourself always giving and never receiving, it’s time to take a step back and reassess the situation.

You might be dealing with someone who has a hidden agenda!

Remember, it’s crucial to protect yourself from people who only see you as a means to an end. You deserve better!

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Picture of Tina Fey

Tina Fey

I've ridden the rails, gone off track and lost my train of thought. I'm writing for Ideapod to try and find it again. Hope you enjoy the journey with me.

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