If someone displays these 8 subtle behaviors, they’re not an authentic person

Have you ever met people who say one thing but actually mean something else? 

You leave the conversation not entirely convinced that the other person sincerely meant what they say.

Usually, there may be obvious signs to indicate that they’re not entirely truthful, but some behaviors can be a bit more subtle and may take you awhile to notice.

Today, we’ll explore 8 of these subtle behaviors which you can look out for the next time you interact with someone who may not be as genuine as they seem.

1) Inconsistencies in storytelling 

While it’s normal to forget little details when recounting a story, there should be some consistency when sharing about the same encounter with different people. 

If someone is intentionally altering information about themselves when speaking with different people, it’s clear that they’re trying to hide certain aspects of themselves from others. 

Their interactions with different groups are not genuine, as their goal is for the other person to think of them in a certain way, or hold them to a higher regard.

Sure, this may come from a place of self preservation, but imagine finding out that the person whom you’ve known for a while turns out to be someone else entirely. 

Presenting conflicting information (and getting caught) may not only confuse people, it may also upset them

If you know someone like this, there may be more to what they say and why they say it this way.

2) Subtly wanting to appear better/worse off than others

This is another classic sign of an inauthentic person. Somehow, they’re unable to be happy for someone who’s doing much better than them.

When someone shares about their accomplishments, they’re quick to put them down. But they won’t do it in an obvious manner. It’ll usually come as a backhanded compliment, or a passive aggressive statement. 

On the other hand, they will also want to appear as if they’re worse off than the rest just to garner sympathy. 

For example, I had an ex colleague who would share about how difficult it was for her to complete her tasks. 

Another colleague would always step in to say, “Actually, I have it worse. I end up going home really late all the time. At least you can leave the office just after 6pm.”

It’s clear that not only do they lack sympathy, they just want people to give them attention. 

And they’d say anything or do anything to “win” this competition they’ve set for themselves. 

If you’ve met people like this, know that this stems from who they are as a person and that you shouldn’t feel offended over it. 

3) Overly agreeable 

Ever met people who never contradicts what everyone says? They just go with the majority and never have a firm opinion on things. 

Or, they may have had one or two opinions about something, but after listening to what others say, they’ll go against what they originally felt and follow what others are doing.

Not only is this inauthentic behaviour, it shows that their self-worth stems from the validation of others. 

They get this by not going against the grain and never having an independent thought – which may position them as an easy-going, likeable person.

When they’re just lacking confidence. 

4) Seeking validation from others 

These people need validation from others as this forms the basis of their self worth. 

They’re afraid to voice out their opinions and will check in to see if others share the same sentiments before sharing their own.

Or they do things entirely for another person’s approval. This leads to interactions that are the opposite of genuine.

They may tell you one thing but will change their tune when speaking with another person just so they can be aligned with everyone.

Over time, this can cause others to lose respect for them because they value the opinions of others over theirs. 

5) Overly rehearsed responses 

people who wont take responsibility in life usually justify it with these If someone displays these 8 subtle behaviors, they’re not an authentic person

Sometimes, we may rehearse what we want to say before an important meeting or presentation. This is fine because the last thing we want to do is screw up in front of very important people. 

However, one should be able to chat with their closer friends with ease. There shouldn’t be a need to respond with obviously rehearsed responses.

If you suspect someone is doing this, it may be a sign that they’re not as authentic as you think.

6) Avoiding vulnerability 

While we should choose who to be vulnerable with, being vulnerable in our actions and thoughts can go a long way in strengthening the relationship with another person and getting to know yourself better.

Some people prefer not showing their genuine emotions or thoughts, as they may want to draw boundaries as well.

But you may be able to discern the other person’s thought processes by their body language – which brings me to my next point.

7) Body language doesn’t match what they say

Sometimes we may not mean what we say, but more often that not, our body language gives us away.

For example, we may have lied to someone for whatever reasons we may have. 

But our body language can give us away – we may avoid eye contact, start fiddling with our hair or fingers, or may even start shifting about in our chair.

Likewise, when someone’s not being authentic to you, like they’re trying to hide something, you may be able to catch these signs. 

Usually, our body language is really hard to control, especially when we’re overcome with emotions.

8) Inauthentic apologies 

The last behavior of inauthentic people is their inability to apologize genuinely.

They’ll throw the word “sorry” around very conveniently and never mean it. 

There’s no intent to change afterwards; their behavior remains the same. They make the same mistakes again and cause the same amount of hurt to others.

This is because they don’t take the other person seriously. What they’re concerned about is how people perceive them, and they want to make sure they reflect the best version of themselves (outwardly).

Concluding thoughts 

While it’s good to be aware of the behaviors of inauthentic people, sometimes these may stem from an even deeper psychological issue, or because of their background.

Remember to understand the context of why they’re behaving this way, instead of assuming and putting a blanket statement “because they are just like that.”

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Tina Fey

Tina Fey

I've ridden the rails, gone off track and lost my train of thought. I'm writing for Ideapod to try and find it again. Hope you enjoy the journey with me.

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