When someone’s unhappy, they’ll usually try to hide it.
They’d rather put up a brave front and show that they’re doing okay, while deep inside, they’re hurting.
After a while, there may be subtle signs that indicate their unhappiness with life.
If you have a tingling suspicion that someone you know is deeply unhappy, here are some behaviors to look out for.
1) They start to withdraw physically and emotionally.
People who are unhappy will often find it tough to socialize because it takes up a lot of energy.
Hanging out is the last thing on their minds as they have to muster up the effort to pretend that they’re enjoying themselves.
Even when you’re around them, they seem to be elsewhere. They don’t contribute much to conversations where they either give one-word replies or just very short sentences.
They may also always be on their phones when they’re with friends.
It’s easy to get angry at their behavior. After all, who wants to spend time with someone who’s not fully present?
However, if what they’re doing is out of the ordinary, you may want to give them some space.
They may be going through a rough time.
2) They take a longer time to respond.
What used to be daily or weekly conversations now have longer lulls in between responses.
People who are unhappy may find texting tough to do as well. They’re so mentally drained that typing a summary of how their day went (most likely, badly) feels like a lot of effort.
You may find yourself left on read for even a week after a simple ‘hello’ or ‘how’s your day?’
Again, if this is abnormal behavior, consider other factors before getting upset. This is a perfectly valid response though. Having to carry a conversation for so long does get tiring.
But in this case, something is likely amiss, and depending on the situation, you may want to find out more.
3) They’re always on social media.
Of all the good and bad things social media can offer, escapism is one of the most popular reasons why people can scroll for hours.
You can immerse yourself in the lives of more successful, interesting, and attractive people, as you run away from your not-so-pleasant reality.
And people who are unhappy are likely to turn to social media to drown their sorrows.
They get some reprieve from the bleakness of life, set their minds on autopilot, and run away virtually.
During one of the lowest points of my life, I spent entire evenings on TikTok and Instagram.
Laughing at funny interviews, watching how people recreate trends, and even learning how people clean their homes (yes, I am that person) made me forget everything I was facing.
For a while, at least. And for those few hours, all of my problems vanished.
So, if you know someone who seems to be online a little bit longer than usual, something may be up.
4) They’re no longer interested in their hobbies.
The things that used to bring them joy seem more like a chore. They’d rather sit around and do nothing. Or scroll through social media.
People who are depressed usually lose their passion and interest in the things that they used to enjoy. The spark has somehow gone out of their lives.
In its place is a dark hole that sucks out all their energy and zest for everything else.
5) They’re a lot more tired than usual.
People who are unhappy are either sleeping too little or sleeping too much. In both scenarios, they’re equally tired.
Something may be keeping them from sleeping and for the latter, they may not have the energy to go about their daily lives. Simple things may prove unbearable.
A friend of mine suffered from depression for about a year. And he’s an active guy, someone who works out often and is full of energy.
During that year, we saw his energy levels plummet to zero. He could barely lift the covers off his head. If we managed to get him to brush his teeth or take a shower, that was already a huge feat.
After he healed from that ordeal, he shared with us that all he wanted to do then was to close his eyes and sleep forever.
Even the thought of going about his day was too painful.
Keep an eye on people who exhibit this behavior. There’s more to their ‘I’m just tired’ responses.
6) They avoid questions about themselves.
Unhappy people would rather not talk about themselves. Because to them, there’s nothing else to share except negativity.
They may not want you to worry, or spread further unhappiness that may kill the overall vibe.
When you ask them about their day, you may find that they direct the question back to you almost immediately.
Although avoidant behavior is common, the key is to never give up trying to ask about them. Yes, they may continue to deflect, but it shows them that you’re still interested in their well-being.
Of course, try not to pursue the matter if it’s clear they don’t want to talk about it.
Give it time.
7) They flare up easily.
As someone who’s guilty of this, let me assure you that you’re not the problem. We’re just using it to hide our hurt.
We may also project our annoyance, irritation, and overall unhappiness on to you.
Fatigue can also contribute to this, as unhappy people are already short on patience and mental rest. It doesn’t take much for them to flare up and let it out on the nearest available person.
Of course, they know that this will likely push people away.
But in these scenarios, their emotions are usually steering their behavior.
8) They become indifferent.
So they’re short-tempered but also don’t care about anything?
Yes, unhappy people may also become increasingly indifferent. This is likely to stem from their growing disinterest in everything around them or having a general sense of hopelessness.
They feel that nothing they do matters and nothing around them matters.
You may start to hear more of ‘It’s up to you’, or ‘I’m fine with anything’.
Final thoughts
If this article confirms your hunch about someone you know, it’s best to give them some space.
Depending on how close you are to that person, bringing up their situation may result in more avoidance.
You may want to just show that you’re there for them.
They may still not reply regularly to your texts, ignore your calls, and cancel on you at the last minute. But sometimes, being present is all that matters.
When you’ve given them enough time to come to a place where they acknowledge that they need help, you’ll be there to guide them through whatever they’re facing.
And… if the points in this article describe how you’re feeling, know this – you’re not alone. There are people out there who care for you. Open up and talk to them.
You may be scared of what they think about you and how they may respond. But most of the time, we are the ones holding us back from seeking help.
If these are true friends of yours, trust me – opening up will lighten the load on your shoulders.
It won’t change your circumstances instantly, but it’s a step towards feeling better.
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