We all know at least one person who’s all ME, ME, ME!
The kind of “friend” who always puts themselves and their interests first, before anyone else.
That includes you.
Simply put – they act as if they’re the main character or protagonist in YOUR life story. To them, everyone else is just background noise.
You may not notice it at first. The signs can be subtle. But if someone you know displays these eight behaviors, chances are, they’re incredibly self-absorbed.
1) They are the “center” of every conversation
Imagine this – you’re trying to tell a story or break some important news. When suddenly, and out of nowhere, they interrupt… for the UMPTEENTH time. Sigh.
Shortly after, the conversation takes a turn and somehow it becomes about them – yet again!
Urgh! It’s frustrating, right?
If we’re being honest here, you saw it coming. It’s not the first time, and it certainly won’t be the last. Whatever the topic, they have to dominate the discussion and make it all about them.
Basically – it’s a one-sided conversation.
And on the rare occasion where you’re finally able to get a word in, they aren’t actively listening or taking on board what you’re saying.
Nope. They’re just waiting for a pause (if they’re feeling polite) to interject and get back to their favorite subject – AKA them.
Something which brings us to the next item on the list…
2) They only call when they need something
We all have that one friend. You know who I’m talking about. They have no problem calling you (day or night) to ask for a favor or a shoulder to cry on.
But when you need help – it’s just unread DMs, radio silence, and static. It’s like they’ve been abducted by aliens. Well, it would be if they weren’t still posting selfies online.
Again, it’s totally one-sided.
They have no interest in you or anyone else’s personal lives. Not unless it benefits them in some way.
In short – it’s just take-take-take with nothing in return.
3) They expect special treatment
Sometimes, it feels like you’ve been cast in a supporting role to further their plot line. At least from their perspective.
As the star of the show, they feel the rules don’t apply to them. No, they’re special and need to be treated as such. Ultimately, they may feel entitled to preferential treatment.
Because of this, they’re rule breakers.
And they certainly don’t value accountability. Instead, they have a “my way or the highway” attitude – with a little Karen energy sprinkled in there for good measure, of course.
This type of “my way” thinking is linked to feelings of high self-worth and low self-esteem.
To be blunt, they’re entitled and lack empathy.
4) They have a slanted worldview
When someone’s self-absorbed, it’s difficult for them to empathize with others.
Of course, they’re not completely devoid of emotion. Ultimately, there’s a subtle difference between a narcissist and someone who’s self-absorbed.
What I’m saying is – that they struggle to put themselves in your shoes.
Essentially, their perspective is so skewed, that they can’t see past their own emotions and opinions.
As a result, they’re unable to consider how you feel or what you think in any given situation.
Say you’re both stuck in traffic and are late for work. Despite having the same experience, their retelling of the situation is much worse.
Not to mention, they downplay how bad it was for you because, to them, they are the victim here – not you.
And when they do they try to comfort someone, they’ll most likely do so by retelling stories about themselves.
Either that, or they’ll find a way to insert themselves into your story and make it about them and their problems.
Not only that – but they can’t help but one-up others.
5) They are constantly one-upping others
When you’re self-absorbed – everything is a competition.
Somehow, they’ve been there, done, that, and got the t-shirt. But it doesn’t stop there. They also did it better than you.
That’s right. They can’t help bragging about their accomplishments, possessions, or life experiences.
Not only that, but they keep one-upping everyone else’s.
According to a 2015 study, relating to a story is acceptable. But one-upping someone makes the speaker feel violated.
So why do they do it?
The bottom line – they can’t help themselves.
They’re seeking validation and admiration from others. And deep down, they’re probably insecure.
6) They don’t like to share
Self-absorbed people enjoy being the center of attention. As a result, this makes it difficult for them `to give other people credit.
That would involve sharing the limelight, and they couldn’t have that.
Perhaps they claimed your idea as theirs or they exaggerated how involved they were in a project at work. Maybe they actively downplayed the efforts of others in the group.
The thing is – they’re so self-absorbed, they don’t even realize they’re doing it. In fact, they probably believe the lie.
But while they may not like sharing the spotlight, they have no problem sharing photos of themselves.
7) They only know how to take selfies
Nowadays, we’re all at it. Posting, commenting, liking. It’s like a non-stop finger-clicking party.
Of course, social media has its uses. It’s a way to share your experiences with loved ones and keep in contact with old school friends. Maybe even make some new ones.
But it can also bring out the worst in people. Specifically, it can make them self-absorbed.
And for them, it’s a platform to voice their innermost thoughts.
From endless selfies to non-stop ranty posts about how they were wronged in some way, their social media accounts read like a love letter to themselves.
Mostly, it demonstrates their inability to take accountability for their role in any given situation. Instead, they like to play the victim.
8) They struggle to apologize
If you’ve made it this far down the list, then this last one should come as no surprise.
They never take responsibility for their actions. Instead, it’s always someone else’s fault. And if the blame game was an Olympic sport, they’d take the gold, silver, and bronze.
The thing is – they might not be doing it on purpose. To them, they really are the victim.
After all, at this stage in their life, finger-pointing is second nature to them. And they’re masters of twisting events to avoid accountability and make themselves look (and feel) better.
Because at the end of the day, they’d rather use deflection tactics than be forced to face their shortcomings head-on.