We’ve all heard that actions speak louder than words. The thing is, it’s true.
Anyone can tell you that they respect you and that they value you. But it’s much more powerful when they show you how they feel through their actions.
Whether it’s your boss at work, your friends, your family, or your partner, certain behaviors show you how people feel about you far more powerfully than anything they could say.
Here are some behaviors that show that someone values you highly:
1) They ask for your advice
One of the most obvious signs that somebody values and respects you is that they also respect your opinions.
If someone often asks for your advice, it’s a sure sign that your opinion holds weight with them. That means they respect your decisions, your intellect, and your opinions.
Now, that doesn’t mean they have to do everything you say. You can value and respect someone without assuming that they are always right.
But it does mean that they will ask for your opinion before making any major decision.
Whether it’s your boss asking for your input on a work project or your partner asking for your advice on how they should handle an issue with a friend, it’s a sure sign of a person who both values and respects you.
2) They respect your boundaries
Here’s the thing: you can’t respect someone without respecting their boundaries.
We all have boundaries in life that determine the behavior we will and won’t accept, both from other people and from ourselves.
In fact, those boundaries are a big part of what makes us emotionally mature and independent adults.
It’s true that it’s not always easy getting people to respect your boundaries. But someone who truly respects you will also respect the way you wish to be treated.
It could be the boss who doesn’t call you outside of work hours. It could be the partner who acknowledges that you need some time alone to decompress. It could be the friends who don’t ask you to go to events they know you wouldn’t enjoy.
Respecting someone’s boundaries can manifest in many different ways, but however it happens, it’s a sure sign that people value and respect you.
3) They trust you
The next step up from asking your advice is taking it. But more than that, someone who respects you will trust you.
That means they will trust you with their secrets and their emotions. They may trust you in financial matters, and be willing to lend you money knowing you will pay it back. Or they may trust you at work by giving you big projects to take on.
Or maybe they trust what you say. They may trust your opinion on what they should do with their lives and turn to you regularly for advice.
However a person shows their trust in you, it’s also a good sign that they value you. After all, you can’t trust someone you don’t respect.
4) They don’t take you for granted
Taking others for granted is one of the most common ways to ruin a relationship.
Unfortunately, it’s human nature to take things and people for granted. We all get used to the way things are, and while it makes us adaptable, it can also make us ungrateful at times.
On the other hand, if a person truly values you, they won’t take you for granted.
There are lots of ways they can show this. For instance:
- They make time for you
- They put effort into maintaining a relationship
- They appreciate when you do things for them
- They support you
- They take pleasure in your achievements
- They tell you how much they appreciate you
All these things demonstrate that someone appreciates you and doesn’t take you for granted.
5) They show interest in your life
We all have that friend who seems to have more going on than everybody else. Their lives are chaotic and dramatic, and they always have something new to talk about.
If that’s not you, it can sometimes feel like you spend most of your time talking about other people’s lives, not your own. But if someone really values you, they will show as much interest in your life as you do in theirs.
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Often, that means asking questions. It means remembering details of what you have told them and following up to see how things turn out.
Basically, if someone values you, they will show interest in your life just as they do in their own.
6) They share their thoughts with you
There can be no meaningful relationship without some degree of emotional sharing. Of course, everyone has different comfort levels for how this looks. Some people like to keep themselves, while others are more emotionally open.
But if someone is willing to share their innermost thoughts with you, it’s a sure sign that they value you. In fact, that’s even more true if they are the type of person who is normally reluctant to share themselves emotionally.
And when someone does share their thoughts with you, it’s important that you repay this respect by sharing your own. That’s how deep and meaningful relationships are formed.
7) They remember things about you
Whether it’s your birthday, an important anniversary, or something you told them recently, people who value you will remember details about your life.
It doesn’t mean they remember everything. After all, they’re probably not writing your biography.
But it does mean that they should be aware of and remember important things in your life.
If something big like a new job or a new relationship is going on with you, someone who values you will know that and ask you questions about it.
But it doesn’t even need to be big things. They should also remember small details and things you’ve told them.
8) They work to maintain their relationship with you
Happily ever after is for the movies. In real life, relationships take work. That’s as true of friendships as it is of professional relationships and romantic ones.
Someone who values you is not afraid to put in the work it requires to maintain a relationship. That means they will make time for you. It also means they will be there to support you when you need help.
Showing up for others is one of the most important things we can do to maintain our relationships with them.
And someone who values you, whether it’s as a friend, family member, coworker, or a lover, won’t be afraid to do the work required to maintain that relationship.
9) They speak highly of you to others
This one is a little harder to recognize. After all, we don’t always know what people say about us when we are not around.
However, people who truly value us aren’t afraid to sing our praises to others. And sometimes, other people will let you know what they’ve heard about you, especially when it’s complimentary.
If someone speaks of you in glowing terms to others, it’s a sure sign that they value who you are.
10) They are honest with you
Now, there can be such a thing as too much honesty. At the same time, being honest with people is a sign of respect.
If the people around you are generally honest with you, it’s probably because they respect your ability to handle the truth. Also, they respect your intelligence enough not to try and lie to you.
Most people tend to be honest with the people that mean something to them. So if people are usually honest with you, it’s a good sign that they respect and value you.
11) They value your time
If you value another person, you also value their time.
People who value you should value your time. That means they:
- Keep appointments they have set with you
- Keep you informed if they can’t meet you somewhere
- Let you know well in advance if plans change
- Show up when they say they will
Valuing somebody’s time is one of the best ways to show them that you value them as a person. After all, we all get the same 24 hours in a day, and respecting somebody’s time is the same as respecting them.
Being valued and respected
There are lots of different ways people can let us know how they feel about us. Sometimes, it’s in the things they say. Other times, it’s the things they do that speak the loudest.
Keep an eye out for these signs that people value and respect you. Because sometimes, actions speak louder than words.
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