Navigating the world of dating can be tricky, especially when it comes to first dates.
Let’s face it, first impressions matter. But sometimes, those first impressions aren’t always what they seem.
It’s important to spot red flags early on because they could indicate it’s not worth arranging a second date.
Here are some behaviors you should look out for. If someone displays these 10 behaviors on a first date, you might want to rethink asking them out again.
So grab your notepad, because you’re about to get some serious dating wisdom. Let’s dive in.
1) They dominate the conversation
One of the most telling signs that a second date might not be worthwhile is if your date monopolizes the conversation.
A first date should be about getting to know each other, sharing your interests, dreams, and experiences. However, if your date spends the majority of their time talking about themselves, barely giving you a chance to contribute or show interest in what you have to say, it might be a sign of self-absorption or lack of empathy.
It’s important to remember that a successful relationship is built on mutual respect and understanding. So if they aren’t willing to lend an ear on the first date, it might set the tone for what’s to come.
2) They’re constantly checking their phone
In today’s digital age, we’re all guilty of being a little too attached to our devices. However, there’s a time and place for everything, and a first date is not the occasion to be glued to your screen.
If your date spends more time scrolling through their phone than engaging in conversation with you, it might indicate a lack of interest or respect for your time. After all, the purpose of a date is to connect and get to know each other better.
If your date can’t put their phone away even for the duration of a meal to focus their attention on you, then it might be worth reconsidering if they’re truly interested in building a meaningful connection.
And in my book, that’s not worth a second date.
3) They’re rude to the staff
On a first date, you’re not just observing how your potential partner treats you, but also how they treat those around them, especially those in service roles, like the waitstaff at a restaurant, the barista at a coffee shop, or even the driver of your ride-share.
It’s easy to be charming when you are trying to impress someone, but the true character of a person often shines through in how they interact with others, particularly when they think no one is watching.
How someone treats service staff can be a significant indicator of their overall character and empathy levels. Disrespect or rudeness towards these individuals is often a sign of deeper issues like entitlement or lack of compassion.
Remember, how they treat others could be a sneak peek into how they might treat you down the line. Respect for all people, regardless of their role or relationship, is a key indicator of a person’s character.
So pay close attention to how your date treat others. If they’re rudely snapping at the waiter or constantly complaining about the service, it could be a sign that they’re not worth a second date.
4) They don’t respect your boundaries
There’s something incredibly empowering about understanding and expressing your personal boundaries. But what happens when the person you’re on a date with blatantly disregards them?
Perhaps they insist on ordering for you despite your polite refusal, make inappropriate jokes, push you to share more than you’re prepared to, or make unwelcome advances despite your discomfort. These actions show a lack of respect for your autonomy and personal space.
This lack of respect can be a major red flag, indicating potential issues down the line with consent and mutual respect.
No one should make you feel uncomfortable or obliged to do something that goes against your will or better judgment. Your boundaries matter, and anyone worth your time will understand and respect that.
If you feel uncomfortable or pushed past your comfort zone without consent on the first date, it’s probably best not to go for a second one.
5) They’re overly negative
First dates should be fun and enjoyable, a chance to explore potential connections.
However, if your date spends the majority of the time complaining about their ex, their job, or life in general, it can quickly put a damper on the evening.
Negativity can be draining and isn’t a great basis for a potential relationship. While everyone has bad days, an overly negative attitude might indicate a pessimistic outlook on life.
As such, if your first date feels more like a venting session than a fun get-to-know-you experience, a second date might not be worth your time.
6) They make you feel unworthy
On a date, you should feel valued, appreciated, and worthy.
If the person sitting across from you makes derogatory comments, criticizes your choices or appearance, or makes you feel less than what you are, it’s heartbreaking. Trust me, no one deserves to be treated that way.
Dating should be about finding someone who appreciates you for who you are. If your date makes you feel small or unworthy, it’s a clear indication that they’re not the right person for you.
Remember, your worth isn’t determined by anyone else’s opinion. If your date can’t see your worth, don’t waste your time on a second one.
7) They bring up controversial topics too soon
I once had a date who, barely five minutes into our conversation, started discussing extremely controversial topics. They didn’t consider whether it was appropriate or if I was comfortable discussing such matters on a first date.
It’s not that these topics should be avoided altogether in a relationship, but a first date is about getting to know each other on a more basic level. Jumping into heavy debates can create unnecessary tension.
If your date lacks the sensitivity to understand this, it might be a sign that they lack the necessary communication skills for a healthy relationship, making a second date less appealing.
8) They’re dismissive of your interests
Everyone has unique interests and passions, and these should be respected, even if they’re not shared.
If your date dismisses or mocks what you’re passionate about, it shows a lack of respect and understanding. It might suggest that they’re not interested in getting to know the real you or supporting you in your hobbies and passions.
Remember, a potential partner doesn’t have to share all of your interests, but they should respect them. If they don’t, you might want to reconsider that second date.
9) They’re overly focused on physical appearance
While physical attraction is undeniably an important aspect of dating, it shouldn’t be the be-all and end-all.
If your date spends a significant amount of time commenting on your looks, or seems overly focused on their own appearance, it might indicate a superficial outlook. After all, beauty is only skin deep. The most enduring relationships tend to be built on shared values and emotional connection rather than physical attributes alone.
Couples who place a high value on each other’s character rather than physical attractiveness are likely to have longer, more satisfying relationships. So, if your date seems stuck on the surface, it might be a sign that they’re not ready for something deeper.
10) They don’t make you feel safe
Above all else, a first date should make you feel safe and comfortable.
If your date does anything that makes you feel unsafe or threatened, it’s a major red flag. This could involve aggressive behavior, inappropriate comments, or even just an unsettling vibe.
Trust your instincts. If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t. Don’t hesitate to leave the situation if needed.
Your safety is paramount, and anyone who doesn’t respect that isn’t worth a second date. Period.
Final thoughts: Love starts with respect
At the end of the day, dating is about finding someone who respects you, values you, and treats you well.
The behaviors listed above are telltale signs that your date might not be able to offer you these fundamental aspects of a healthy relationship.
Remember, there’s no rush when it comes to dating. It’s better to take your time and find someone who treats you right than to settle for less.
As the great Maya Angelou once said, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”
So if your date shows any of these behaviors, don’t ignore them. Trust your instincts and know that you deserve someone who respects and appreciates you just as you are.
Dating can be a journey, but it’s worth it when you find someone who truly values and respects you.
