Who doesn’t want to be fun to be around?
Even people who have a strong sense of self-worth and are happy spending time alone still want others to like them. In fact, it’s one of the most basic and universal human desires.
The trouble is, we don’t always know how other people feel about us. They may say they like us, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s true.
Still, there are some clues that people really enjoy being around you. And often, the things they say when they are with you can give you a good idea how pleasant you are to be around.
Keep an ear out for the following phrases that can tell you that other people enjoy your company.
1) You’re always so understanding
Being understood is another basic human need. So if you can make people feel as though you understand them, it goes a long way toward making them want to spend time around you.
For example, this study by researcher Jeanetta Lun and others found that participants reported greater life satisfaction and even better physical health when they felt more understood in their daily social interactions.
Plus, being understanding is a two-way street. If you can’t understand other people, it’s easy to feel isolated and alienated from your fellow human beings.
Understanding others means being nonjudgmental and accepting of the differences with you. It also means making the effort to meet them where they are and trying to see things from their point of view.
If people tell you that you are very understanding person, you can guarantee it means they like spending time around you.
2) You’re so positive
No one likes a negative person.
On the other hand, a genuinely positive person can lift the spirits of everyone around them and give new energy to any social interaction they find themselves in.
Now, I’m not talking about fake positivity, which can actually become toxic if taken too far. Instead, I’m talking about people who try to focus on the good, even in potentially bad situations.
I’m talking about people who don’t let events bring them down. I’m talking about people who focus on the good things in life, even as they acknowledge that bad things sometimes happen.
If people tell you that your positive person, take it as the compliment it is.
3) You’re a great listener
We all want to be heard. And good listeners have the ability to make sure people feel that anything they say is being closely listened to. That, in turn, makes people feel valued, and lets them know that the things they say are important to others.
Unsurprisingly, this makes them feel good. And as you may have noticed by now if you’ve read this far, making people feel good about themselves is key to being a pleasant person to be around.
4) You’re so funny
Making people laugh can often be a key to making them like you.
As psychologist Martin Graff writes in this article, research shows that a sense of humor not only helps attract romantic partners, but it also helps strengthen long-term relationships.
That’s true outside of romantic relationships, too.
We are drawn to people who make us laugh and can make us feel good. So if you always have a funny take on things, chances are good you’re pleasant person to be around.
That doesn’t mean you have to be a comedian, always coming up with fresh material to have everyone in stitches.
But it does mean that being able to crack a joke or see the funny side of things can go a long way toward making people want to spend time with you.
5) I feel like I can trust you
Being trustworthy is an admirable trait in anyone. So if people tell you they feel like they can trust you, it’s a sure sign that they enjoy your company.
Being able to trust someone makes us feel secure and confident enough to be ourselves. In a world that constantly seems to want us to be something other than what we are, it’s a rare and precious thing to find someone who we can trust with every part of ourselves.
So if someone says this to you, you should feel good about the way you make them feel. Being a trustworthy person is a big part of being a likable person, too.
6) You’re really supportive
Are you that person who always supports your friends and family? Are you always there for people, in bad times as well as in good times?
Those are the kind of people others love to spend time around.
Emotional support can take a number of forms. It may mean cheering people on when they achieve great success. On the other hand, it may mean supporting them when things go wrong.
But however you do it, supporting others is one of the best ways to make them enjoy spending time around you.
That’s because the people close to you know that they can come to you whether times are good or bad and know that you will be there for them, no matter what.
7) You give such great advice
If someone has said this to you, you can guarantee that they enjoy spending time with you.
Giving good advice isn’t easy. It requires you to have a good understanding of both yourself and of the people around you.
That reason, good advice usually comes from people who are highly empathetic and take the time to understand and put themselves in the position of others.
These are all great traits to have. And if someone tells you you give great advice, you should be glad that you’ve been able to help other people with your opinions.
8) I can be myself around you
If someone tells you that they feel they can be themselves around you, it means you make them feel safe. That they can show you parts of themselves that they often feel that they need to hide from the rest of the world.
And that feeling of safety and security means they will always enjoy spending time with you.
By being open, supportive, and nonjudgmental, you make people feel safe to express themselves around you. That’s a real gift in a world that is always trying to make us feel bad about ourselves.
9) I know you’re there for me
Ultimately, when people trust you and know you will support them, they will value your friendship.
If a person tells you that they know you will always be there for them, it’s a guaranteed sign that they like being around you. After all, we can’t help but love the people who we know have our backs, in good times and bad.
If someone tells you this, you can guarantee it means you’re a pleasant person to be around. Not only because you can be upbeat and fun, but because they trust you to be there for them no matter what happens.
How to be a pleasant person
By now, you should’ve noticed that being a good person to be around is about more than just being fun.
Yes, it’s good to make people laugh and keep them happy. But perhaps more important is letting people know that you hear them, that you understand them, and that you will always be there for them.
Do that, and people won’t be able to help wanting to be around you.
And if people say any of the phrases above your presence, you’ll know that you’re doing the right thing.