If a woman is a genuinely kind person, she will usually display these 10 behaviors

Let’s face it, we sometimes judge women too fast and too hard.

When a woman isn’t typically nice, we automatically think she’s not kind.

But niceness and kindness are two different things!

One can be kind but look totally un-nice, and one can be nice but terribly unkind.

Want to know if a woman you know is genuinely kind?

Pay attention if she displays these 10 behaviors!

1) She doesn’t care about traditional gender roles

She doesn’t want special treatment just because she’s a woman, but of course, R-E-S-P-E-C-T is non-negotiable. And there’s a big difference.

Some women want “princess treatment”—simply because they’re born female.

They want men to kiss their feet, to chase them, to always understand their moods…and if they don’t? Then they don’t deserve their respect!

But genuine kindness is actually about fairness.

So she doesn’t expect men to be “tough”.

She doesn’t measure a man’s worth based on his income or pressures him to provide for all her financial needs and wants.

Genuinely kind women are not interested in fulfilling people-pleasing niceness standards but you can always rely on them to be fair.

2) She’s highly empathetic 

When you’re depressed because your pet died, she won’t tell you to get over your grief fast—or to “man up”—just because it’s just a pet.

When you tell her you can’t be with her because you’re struggling with your deadlines, she won’t say “Pffft! You’re just making excuses. You don’t really want to see me.”

Instead, she’d shift priorities and be understanding of YOU.

She’d tell you “I’m sorry about your dog. Tell me if you need me there. I’ll bring pizza and we can just stay in.”

Or “Oh, it’s okay. Focus on your deadlines! We can always hang out another time. Do you need help?”

Genuinely kind women have highly developed empathetic skills because balancing their needs and wants with others’ is truly important to them.

While other women manipulate to get what they want and need by pretending to be nice, the genuinely kind woman is always considerate.

3) She doesn’t like to “punish” others

“Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned,” is how other women justify vengefulness.

Because society conditions women to shut up and “be nice”, the repression makes them end up exploding in resentment.

So when they’re hurt, instead of telling the other person directly, they’ll “punish” them by being passive-aggressive.

They’d turn into an Ice Queen and let you suffer an ice-cold death or attack you behind your back.

But genuinely kind women always communicate their concerns even when they find it challenging to be direct.

That’s because they truly care about the person and would never talk trash about them to others, become passive-aggressive towards them, or worse—plot revenge.

When they get offended or hurt, they’d try to extinguish the fire by talking about it with the person involved.

In short, genuinely kind women know how to hold others accountable without being punitive.

4) She’s brilliant and gentle with her words

Genuinely kind women use their words to nurture environments of safety and connection.

She’s direct and honest, but she chooses her words well.

Instead of saying “You’re such an idiot. Why won’t you make smarter decisions?!,” she’d say “You made a mistake and you can choose to learn from it.” –Same thought, but less painful to hear.

While other women use their gift with words  to alienate others and build up their own superiority, genuinely kind women use it to foster compassionate relationships.

When there are misunderstandings, they mediate. When there is anger they co-regulate.

For genuinely kind women, it’s not enough to be brilliant with words if they cannot be gentle at the same time.

5) She amplifies the good in others

She amplifies the good in others If a woman is a genuinely kind person, she will usually display these 10 behaviors

There are women who love to pull other women down.

Whether out of habit, jealousy, or societal conditioning that women have to compete to succeed…they just can’t help but focus on the negative aspects of other people.

If someone’s not so friendly but they have exceptional talent, they’d focus on that.

They’d even add color to their “flaws”, like saying “Yeessh. She thinks she’s so good that’s why she doesn’t smile. She thinks we’re not as great as her!”

A genuinely kind woman isn’t like this.

She minimizes (even ignores) the “bad” and highlights the good.

She knows that the world already puts more than enough pressure on women to be perfect so she doesn’t add to it.

She’d say “Oh wow, she’s really talented!,” and that’s because she really sees the good in others—always.

She amplifies their gifts and good ideas by calling attention to it and always chooses to be the supporter while others easily default to being a critic.

This is because they know how hard it is to create, and how easy it is to destroy.

6) She holds people accountable without shaming

There are some women who get a kick out of shaming others in public—especially men.

They love to feel powerful…that way you (and everyone else) will know they’re not someone you can mess with.

Needless to say, these women are not kind.

Genuinely kind women do the complete opposite!

They praise others in public but they criticize in private.

Why? It’s simple really: they care more about people than being right.

And so even if you’re not the nicest person in the world, she’d be graceful when delivering negative feedback.

The genuinely kind woman knows that holding people accountable by shaming them destroys relationships and makes people resistant to change.

She uses logic, reason, and kindness where others will use tactics and manipulation.

So unless there is no other way to avoid harm, she refuses to hold people accountable through shame.

7) She has integrity

Genuinely kind women make sure that their intentions are pure and aligned with their beliefs, so they do their best to:

  • Always do the right thing
  • Be honest even if it could make others uncomfortable
  • Keep her promises
  • Respect herself and others regardless of social status/position
  • Be fair in her interactions with others

But since she’s only human, sometimes she makes mistakes. But when that happens, she takes full accountability for her actions.

It’s not that she’s being a martyr because she knows how to advocate for her own well-being. too. And it’s not because she’s guilty or she wants to be seen as good.

It’s mainly because she truly cares about how she affects other people, as simple as that.

8) She gives others the benefit of the doubt

Some women are too suspicious that they become toxic and unkind.

They’d try to control the people around them, and they’re always thinking others are deliberately out to hurt them.

And because of this, they end up hurting the people they love…even if they don’t deserve it!

A genuinely kind person tries her best to be more mature. She’d try to work on her insecurities and trauma so she won’t be a burden to others, especially to the people she loves.

Unless there’s evidence that someone is actually doing something wrong, she gives them the benefit of the doubt.

But make no mistake, genuinely kind women’s kindness is born from experience, not naivete so don’t think you can fool them.

They keep their boundaries and will hold you accountable if you break their trust or cause harm to others.

9) She truly cares about how she affects other people

A genuinely kind woman is hyper aware and mindful of how her actions and words affect the people around her.

She makes sure she’s not late because she respects people’s time.

She regulates her emotions to avoid hurting others even when she is stressed.

And when someone is down, she’ll hold space and provide support until they can get back on their feet.

A genuinely kind woman isn’t just concerned about herself and her immediate circle, she is also concerned about her impact on humanity and makes choices based on it.

So even if she will never be directly affected by social issues, she will advocate for it.

Even if she isn’t disabled or an immigrant, she will support laws and legislations to uphold a more equitable world for everyone.

10) She’s kind to herself

You can get an idea of how kind a woman is based on how kind she is with herself.

The more relaxed and self-compassionate a woman is, the more likely she’s also kind to the people around her.

A woman is genuinely kind if:

  • She allows herself to make mistakes
  • Accepts her flaws and doesn’t shame herself for it
  • Doesn’t compare herself to others
  • Celebrates her uniqueness
  • She sees herself as a work-in-progress

It’s hard to do all these from a place of self-denial and self-hate.

If a woman is like this, that just means she’s full of kindness.

So as a boss, she advocates for a healthy work-life balance. As a colleague, she is supportive and encourages growth.

As a romantic partner, she embraces everything about you.

Final thoughts:

Being a genuinely kind woman is the ultimate balm in a dog-eat-dog world.

So forget about niceness and try to practice more of these behaviors instead.

When life’s challenges feel like there is no other way to survive but to be harsh, use this list as a reminder that you can always choose to be a genuinely kind woman, even when it’s sometimes difficult.

Picture of Ethan Sterling

Ethan Sterling

Ethan Sterling has a background in entrepreneurship, having started and managed several small businesses. His journey through the ups and downs of entrepreneurship provides him with practical insights into personal resilience, strategic thinking, and the value of persistence. Ethan’s articles offer real-world advice for those looking to grow personally and professionally.

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