You’ve been noticing her acting standoffish. She rolls her eyes, snubs you, chides you in front of your friends.
You’ve been trying to feign ignorance and pretend all is well, but deep down, you know it’s true. The subtle shifts in her demeanor, the almost imperceptible changes in her tone – they all scream one thing: a lack of respect.
You might not notice it immediately, but before long, you’re like a lost kitten tossed out the back of a truck. Scared, lonely, and desperately craving some secure and healthy love.
Now, women, bless our sometimes cryptic ways, aren’t always going to shout their lack of respect from the rooftops.
But if you know what to look for, their subtle behaviors can reveal quite a bit.
The sooner you can pinpoint these 7 telltale signs that, unfortunately, she might not have all too much respect for you, the better:
1) “Whatever”
A single word, yet very powerful when it comes to discerning whether someone does actually have any respect for you.
When uttered with just the right amount of dismissive nonchalance, this one’s a killer.
It’s a verbal shrug, a way of dismissing another person and basically saying, “Your opinion? Meh.”
The “whatever” isn’t often about the topic at hand, either. It’s her signaling that your thoughts hold little value in her mind. So little, in fact, that she can’t deign to reply.
It’s the conversational equivalent of being swatted away like an annoying fly.
Pro tip, fellas: when the “whatevers” start flying, it might be time to re-evaluate this dynamic.
Find someone who cares enough to listen and reply to you!
2) Let me butt in with a far more interesting point!
You’re mid-sentence, sharing an elaborate story about your day and getting enthralled in transporting your listeners into the magical world of your recent life and times.
Then all of a sudden, she swoops in, completely derailing your train of thought.
Maybe she pivots to a story about herself, clinging desperately onto some vague bridge between your story and her new limelight-stealing narrative.
Perhaps a seemingly unrelated statement pops into her head, and she clasps onto that and demands everyone else follow what she’s saying, too.
Either way, the message is clear: your words weren’t important enough to warrant her full attention.
And whilst many of us tend to get a lil’ overexcited and fail to wait our turn on the odd occasion, such chronic interrupting shows a disregard for others which errs into narcissistic behavior.
3) Queen of condescension
Does her voice ever take on a slightly patronizing lilt, as if she’s explaining common sense to a toddler?
She tends to employ condescending and patronizing tones only when she’s in a bad mood, or you’re trying to disagree with her own opinion.
Instead of a healthy exchange of ideas, you get a subtle dose of “bless your heart” energy. Good on you for trying, little one!
This condescending tone isn’t about disagreeing (which is perfectly healthy!); it’s about subtly undermining your intelligence and making you feel just a little bit small.
If she sounds more like a disappointed and patronizing auntie than an equal partner, you’ve got a problem on your hands.
4) “Sorry, I’m just on my phone!”
You’re out on a date (friendship or romantic), trying to have a meaningful conversation, and her eyes are glued to her phone.
She scrolls, she giggles, she might even reply with lightning speed. All you can hear is the tip-tapping away of her neatly manicured nails.
You want to stop her, tell her to put down the screen and focus on your time together, but you’re worried you might be…interrupting whatever she’s glued to.
Now, we all need a digital detox from time to time, but when phone time consistently supersedes quality time with you, it’s a red flag.
It whispers that those bland Instagram notifications, those hyped-up Twitter threads, are all infinitely more fascinating than anything you have to say.
5) Eyes roll so hard they almost roll backwards
Ah, the eye roll.
Teeming with condescension and passive-aggressiveness, it’s the nonverbal equivalent of a groan.
Should you say or do something even slightly to her dislike, her eyes immediately flick heavenwards, accompanied by perhaps the tiniest of sighs that screams you exhaust me.
The eye-roll is a dismissive classic, a way of broadcasting her disapproval or boredom without uttering a word.
So, if you regularly find yourself on the receiving end of this ocular gymnastics routine, it’s a sure sign that she’s not taking your thoughts or feelings seriously and doesn’t respect you all too much.
6) Little miss sarcasm
A little playful sarcasm can be a fun way to spice up a conversation.
When dished out in the right doses, and with plenty of sensitivity in mind, it’s as Oscar Wilde said: ‘Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, but the highest form of intelligence’.
But when it becomes her default mode of communication, dripping with disdain, watch out.
This is because constantly masking disrespect as “just joking” is a cowardly move.
If her every other sentence is a thinly veiled insult (probably targeted your way), it’s not about having a witty sense of humor – it’s about chipping away at your confidence while maintaining plausible deniability.
Don’t mind me! Just being sarcastic! You wouldn’t get it…
All in all, too much sarcasm begins to teeter into emotional manipulation and negging, so don’t be afraid to shut down the jokes that sting a little too much.
7) Selective listening
If she’s interested in something or someone, her ears perk up and she gives the speaker her whole, unadulterated attention.
(This tends to happen most when they have something to offer her…)
But if you’re trying to regale her about your stressful day at work, desperately seeking someone to vent to, she simply nods. Let’s face it, she’s probably on her phone, too.
She might offer the occasional “mhmm,” but her attention is notably elsewhere.
Later, you try and test whether she was listening. Maybe you ask for her input, “So, what do you think I should do about the neighbor stealing my cacti?”
Unsurprisingly, she can’t recall a single detail of your story. She doesn’t have a clue what you’re asking.
Selective listening (or selective empathy) is a way of being present without really being present.
And if she tends to listen and sympathize only when she’s interested, it signals that she’s going just through the motions.
Your problems, your worries, and your triumphs? They’re not registering as important to her.
The bottom line
While these behaviors might seem subtle, their impact is anything but. A chronic lack of respect can slowly poison a relationship, leaving you feeling undervalued and unheard.
Remember, you deserve to be with someone who sees your worth, who listens attentively, and who treats you with kindness and consideration.
If the above signs are resonating a little too strongly, it might be time to have an honest conversation with her about how her actions are making you feel.
And if that doesn’t lead to positive change, remember this: self-respect means walking away from people who refuse to treat you the way you deserve.
