If a man wants to gain respect as he grows older, say goodbye to these 10 behaviors

As we get older, we want people to admire us, or at the very least—respect us.

Men want boys to look at them and say “Wow, I want to be just like him when I grow up!”

But it’s not easy.

You can’t just demand people to respect you. You gotta earn it!

So how do you earn respect exactly?

If you’re a man and you want to be respected when you’re older, first you have to say goodbye to these 10 behaviors!

1) Asking for favors left and right

While it’s fine to ask help from others from time to time, it’s just not right when you keep using other people’s kindness to your benefit.

People have bills to pay, kids to take care of, and work to stress over.

And a grown man should be very aware of this. 

He should respect other people’s time and resources and not think only of himself.

Instead of thinking “How can THEY help me”, a well-respected man asks himself “How can I help them?” or “How can we help each other?”

And if he realizes that he can’t, he knows that the next best thing to do is to not bother them.

2) Throwing hissy fits

A man who doesn’t know how to regulate his emotions is like a little boy wailing in a toy store. And, let’s be real here— it’s just not easy for people to respect a person like this!

While it’s fine to have some temper when one is younger, it’s not so fine when you’re already 50.

You had plenty of time to develop emotion regulation and anger management skills in your twenties and thirties. If you still lash out now that all your hair has turned gray, it just means you didn’t do your job.

If almost anything can set you off,

If you lash out when you’re angry,

If you break down often,

Then you gotta do something about it before you become the grumpy grandpa that everyone hates.

Do it not only to gain respect from others, but also for yourself and the people you love.

3) Not doing household chores

If you’re a man and you still believe “chores are for girls”, then you won’t gain respect as you get older. Not from women, not from respectable men, and not from children.

A well-evolved man knows that chores are a part of life!

The laundry doesn’t wash itself. Food doesn’t magically appear on the table. 

Someone’s gotta do those things! And it shouldn’t just be the women. As a man, you gotta do your part, too!

And here’s the thing: chores aren’t just chores.

The level of involvement you have for them reflects who you are as a person.

Are you responsible?

Do you care for others?

Do you subscribe to traditional gender roles?

We all can see that in how you handle the dishes in the sink!

If you want to gain respect as you get older, then you gotta do your part of the housework, no ifs and buts.

4) “Me, me, me”

It’s fine to talk about yourself, of course.

We can’t keep saying “How about you?” and “tell me more” during conversations.

But if all you can talk about is yourself and you can go on for hours without showing any interest in other people…

YIKES!

People would not want to hang out with you and they will start to lose respect for you, too.

Why?

It’s a sign that you’re a bit of a narcissist, that you lack self-awareness, and that you haven’t developed interpersonal skills.

Conversations should be give and take. If you hog the limelight, it shows a lot about who you are as a person.

5) Being judgmental and close-minded

People who think they’re wiser than everyone else are just…hard to like.

And if they’re judgmental and close-minded? We can’t help but lose respect for them!

If you say things like:

“Pssh. Being trans is just a fad!”

“Homeless people are just lazy.”

Or “Ugh. Kids these days…”

It will be harder for you to gain respect as you grow older.

People might tolerate you, sure, but trust me—they’d find it very, very hard to like you and respect you.

They won’t go “Gosh, I want to be like that man.” Instead, they’d go “I’d never want to be that man when I’m older.”

One should aim to be more open-minded and less judgmental as one gets older. 

Someone who goes in the opposite direction just shows that he hasn’t grown as a person. 

6) Lying, cheating, and stealing

someone lying to you If a man wants to gain respect as he grows older, say goodbye to these 10 behaviors

I can’t respect men who lie and cheat. Just can’t.

I don’t care if they’re a talented millionaire who donates to charity. If they don’t have integrity, I won’t find them admirable.

I’m not just talking about big things like cheating on their spouse or stealing money.

I’m also talking about “small” things like flirting with the intern or stealing the credit.

A respectable man is someone who always tries to do the right thing no matter what.

And if someone possesses integrity, he’d be respected even if he’s not earning 6-digits or getting any award.

7) Inability to commit

I know a man who’s so passionate about many things. Sexy, right?

But he never gets anything done!

He gets bored after a while then starts doing another thing…then another…then another.

I also know a man who, at the age of 60, still can’t stick to one woman. He jumps from one relationship to the other like he’s still 19.

It’s not entirely their fault. They probably have ADHD or they’re just unlucky.

But let’s face it—if we see someone who’s just hopping from one thing to another, it’s difficult for us to respect them.

If you’re a man and you want to gain respect as you grow older, you gotta develop your commitment skills.

This behavior affects your life (and people’s perception of you) more than you think.

8) Believing that women are the weaker sex

A man who’s deserving of respect knows the basics of respect—especially when it concerns women.

He doesn’t objectify women.

He doesn’t think women are less intelligent.

He doesn’t think that the woman’s place is in the kitchen.

And he’s very respectful of other genders, too!

He believes that while men and women are different, there’s no such thing as “weaker sex.”

If you’re a man and you think women or members of the lgbt are not as good as you, then don’t expect people to respect you. After all, you have no respect for others, too.

9) Being lazy and unreliable

If all a man does is watch TV and play video games all day,

If you cannot rely on him,

If he expects others to do what he’s supposed to do,

Then of course, it’s just impossible to respect him!

Men don’t need to become CEOs or overachievers for us to respect them. They just need to do the bare minimum of what’s required to become a dignified member of society.

If you’re in your forties (in good health, with no kids), you have to do something with your life. Earn, be useful to society, and carry your own weight.

Otherwise, it will be hard for you to gain respect as you grow older.

10) Trying hard to “be a man”

Some men get defensive when they’re not seen as someone “manly” or “tough”.

And so, in their attempt to convince others that they’re indeed those things, they flex their muscles, show how successful they are, and become assertive—aggressive, even.

A man deserving of respect won’t bother proving to others they’re strong. 

Why?

Because, to them, what’s wrong with being soft? What’s wrong with being nice and tender and loving?

These things don’t make them “less of a man!”

So if you want to gain respect, you have to ditch that mindset and change the behavior that go along with it.

Final thoughts

Respect is very important to men.

But most of them don’t know how to earn it the right way!

Some try to excel in their careers, some build big businesses and big houses, some spend five hours a day at the gym…

But while those things matter, having just one bad behavior can ruin everything you’ve worked for.

A billionaire won’t earn respect if he’s a bigot.

A genius won’t earn respect if he throws tantrums all the time.

An intellectual won’t earn respect if he’s a cheater.

Only very few of them know that it takes very little for a man to gain respect—and that’s by respecting others.

Did you like my article? Like me on Facebook to see more articles like this in your feed.

Picture of Tina Fey

Tina Fey

I've ridden the rails, gone off track and lost my train of thought. I'm writing for Ideapod to try and find it again. Hope you enjoy the journey with me.

Enhance your experience of Ideapod and join Tribe, our community of free thinkers and seekers.

Related articles

Most read articles

Get our articles

Ideapod news, articles, and resources, sent straight to your inbox every month.

0:00
0:00