If a man uses these 8 phrases in a conversation, he’s hiding something serious from you

Navigating conversations with men can sometimes feel like decoding an enigma wrapped in a mystery. Especially when you can’t help but feel there’s something serious he’s not telling you.

As a woman, I can admit that I’ve spent countless hours dissecting conversations, trying to find hidden meanings in words.

But here’s the good news: communication science has uncovered certain phrases often used by men who are hiding something serious. I wish I had known these earlier, it would have saved me a lot of confusion and heartache.

So, let me save you the torment of uncertainty. In this article, I’m going to reveal 8 key phrases that suggest a man is hiding something significant from you.

1) “It’s not a big deal”

Have you ever shared your concerns with a man, only to have him respond with “It’s not a big deal”? This phrase can be a red flag.

On the surface, it might seem like he’s trying to comfort you or downplay the situation to prevent you from worrying. But dig a little deeper and you might find something else entirely.

When a man uses this phrase frequently, especially when discussing meaningful or serious topics, it could indicate that he’s hiding something. He may be trying to divert your attention or dismiss your worries to prevent further inquiry into the matter.

Of course, context is everything in communication. He might genuinely believe it’s not a big deal.

But if your gut feeling tells you otherwise, it might be worth looking into. After all, our instincts are often correct.

So remember, “it’s not a big deal” could sometimes mean “I don’t want to talk about this because there’s more to it than I’m letting on”.

2) “I don’t remember”

Are you familiar with the concept of selective memory? It’s the psychological phenomena where a person remembers certain details and conveniently forgets others.

This can be an unconscious process. But it can also be used deliberately as a defense mechanism or to hide the truth.

Now, here’s the kicker.

When a man frequently says, “I don’t remember” to dodge specific questions or topics, there’s a good chance he’s exercising selective memory. And this could mean he’s hiding something serious from you.

He might be using selective memory to avoid discussing uncomfortable topics or things he’d rather you not know.

The next time he conveniently “forgets,” you might want to take it with a grain of salt. It could be more than just a lapse in memory.

3) “I remember it clearly”

Interestingly, the opposite can also be a red flag.

When a man insists he “remembers it clearly,” especially in relation to events or information that most people would ordinarily forget, it could be a sign of something being off. Why?

Because sometimes, those who hide something overcompensate by providing too much detail. They might think that by doing so, they will appear more credible. If he seems to recall every minute detail of an otherwise mundane or inconsequential event, you might want to listen closely.

His insistence on remembering clearly may be an attempt to construct a particular narrative or control a situation.

Just like the selective memory, this too could be a sign of something significant being hidden away.

4) “You’re overthinking”

Ever been told that you’re overthinking things? While sometimes this might be said out of genuine concern, it could also signal something else.

When a man tells you that “you’re overthinking” in response to your questions or concerns, it can be a way of deflecting.

Deflection is a common tactic used by people who want to avoid answering difficult questions or addressing certain issues.

By telling you that you’re overthinking, he could be trying to make you doubt your judgment or perception. This can make it easier for him to hide something serious without it seeming suspicious.

5) “You wouldn’t understand”

pic2433 1 If a man uses these 8 phrases in a conversation, he’s hiding something serious from you

When a man says, “You wouldn’t understand,” it often signals secrecy. This phrase erects a barrier between you and the subject, implying doubt about your ability to grasp it. It can also serve as a tactic to evade further explanation.

Each of these actions creates distance and shields him from further questioning.

Needless to say, it’s a phrase that should raise your eyebrows and make you question what he might be trying to hide.

6) “Let’s talk about this later”

I remember an incident with a close friend of mine, Alex. He was generally a talkative and open guy, but whenever his long-standing career struggles came up in conversation, he would quickly change the subject or say, “Let’s talk about it later.”

At first, we assumed he was just dealing with the issue in his own way and didn’t want to burden us with his worries. But as “later” turned into days, then weeks, then months without any further discussion, it became apparent that something was off. It turned out that Alex had lost his job and was grappling with feelings of shame and fear about the future.

“Let’s talk about it later” can be a tactic used by men who are trying to avoid discussing something uncomfortable or distressing. They might hope that by delaying the conversation, the issue at hand will somehow disappear. 

7) “I don’t want to argue”

Imagine this scenario: You’re in the middle of a conversation, trying to discuss something that’s been bothering you.

Instead of engaging with you, he quickly retorts with “I don’t want to argue”. It seems like a peaceful gesture, right?

But have you ever stopped to question if it’s always about avoiding conflict?

Could it be possible that he is using this phrase not to keep the peace, but to avoid divulging something serious?

When a man uses “I don’t want to argue” as his go-to phrase to shut down conversations, it could mean he’s not just avoiding an argument, but also hiding something that he doesn’t want to reveal.

It’s worth reflecting on whether this is a pattern in your conversations and what it might indicate.

8) “I’m fine”

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, is the classic “I’m fine”. These two words, often uttered when a man doesn’t want to discuss his feelings or problems, can hide a multitude of secrets.

“I’m fine” is a universal code for “I don’t want to talk about it”. It’s an easy escape route from uncomfortable conversations or situations.

If he frequently assures you that he’s fine, even when his actions suggest otherwise, it’s a strong indication that he might be concealing something serious.

Actions speak louder than words. And the phrase “I’m fine” can often be a silent scream for “I’m not really okay”.

So pay attention to the unsaid and the actions accompanying these two words. They might reveal more than what meets the eye.

After all, you deserve honesty, clarity, and peace in your interactions and relationships. And acknowledging these phrases is just a small step towards achieving that.

Effective communication: Your next step

Understanding the subtle cues in a man’s language is an important step towards better communication. However, it’s only the beginning. The next, and arguably more crucial step, is knowing how to respond effectively.

In any relationship, open and empathetic communication forms the bedrock of understanding and connection. If you suspect your man is hiding something serious based on the phrases he’s using, approaching him with patience, empathy, and a genuine desire to understand his perspective can make all the difference.

Start by expressing your concerns without accusing or cornering him. Use “I” statements like “I feel,” “I notice,” or “I wonder,” to voice your feelings without blaming him. This approach fosters a safe space for him to open up about what he’s hiding.

Remember that change doesn’t happen overnight. It can take time for someone to feel comfortable sharing deeply personal or difficult things. Be patient and give him time to reveal things at his own pace.

Lastly, always keep in mind that a healthy relationship thrives on mutual respect, understanding, and honesty. By promoting these values in your communication, you can help create an environment where hidden issues can be brought to light and resolved effectively.

Picture of Mia Zhang

Mia Zhang

Mia Zhang blends Eastern and Western perspectives in her approach to self-improvement. Her writing explores the intersection of cultural identity and personal growth. Mia encourages readers to embrace their unique backgrounds as a source of strength and inspiration in their life journeys.

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