If a man uses these 16 phrases in a conversation, he’s emotionally intelligent

Having high EQ (emotional intelligence) is a crucial quality that’s becoming increasingly valued in society and psychology. 

Having a healthy relationship with feelings leads to better relationships and a more fulfilling life. 

That’s why meeting a guy who has high EQ is a great sign in terms of the potential for a relationship, friendship or professional coworking situation.

With that in mind, let’s take a look at the top signs that a guy is emotionally intelligent and how that comes across in what he says. 

1) “I understand how you feel.” 

We all seek to be understood.

When a man shows his empathetic side, he is opening his heart to you and validating your experiences. 

Whether or not he knows exactly how you feel, he’s doing his best to be there for you and meet you where you are. 

As licensed psychologist Dr. Veronica Hlivnenko notes:

“They validate and empathize with other people’s difficulties and problems and know what to say to support them and help them handle their emotions, even when they don’t share the same experience.”

2) “Thank you for sharing that with me.” 

When a man has high EQ, he understands how hard it is to share personal matters or emotional things. 

That’s why he will express his appreciation for anything you share. 

It’s because he knows it wasn’t easy and he values the fact that you did. 

3) “What can I do to help?” 

Actions often speak louder than words, and the high-EQ man does his best to put his money where his mouth is. 

When there’s a way to help, he’ll do his best to come through. 

Even if it’s a hug, a kind word or being there for you in a small way, he’ll want to be your guy

4) “I appreciate how you…”

Saying thanks is great. But it’s quite generic. 

Instead, a high-EQ man specifies what they are appreciative about and goes into at least a bit of detail about it. 

This makes the recipient know that it’s genuine and also lets them pick up on the specifics. 

As The EQ Development Group founder Drew Bird advises

“Helping people to understand why you are grateful makes it more meaningful than simply saying thanks.” 

5) “I’m here for you if you need to talk.” 

This is where a man lets you know that he’s by your side no matter what

There’s no pressure to talk, but there’s an openness. 

And sometimes that openness can really make all the difference, especially when you’re going through a difficult time. 

“The words you say have a huge impact on others – far more than you would expect,” notes Angela Bell.

6) “Let’s find a solution together.” 

This man understands that finding an answer isn’t about imposing a top-down fix. 

It’s about finding a solution that works for all parties concerned. 

As a result, he’s interested in helping you search out a solution, rather than imparting one or forcing through his view. This is high-EQ at its finest. 

7) “No.”

An emotionally intelligent man knows his limits, and he’s not afraid to state them. 

Instead of a fake or pressured “yes” or a “maybe” that he doesn’t actually mean, a truly high-EQ guy is willing to put his foot down when necessary. 

As B. Dan Berger explains:

“Don’t let others run your life. If you say yes to something you really don’t want to do, you may be missing out on something you actually want to do.”

8) “I need some time to process this.” 

pic1923 If a man uses these 16 phrases in a conversation, he's emotionally intelligent

Sometimes it’s not a great idea to react right away, especially to upsetting news or during a tense interaction.

An emotionally intelligent man is very well aware of this and acts accordingly. 

When he uses the phrase above he’s not saying it as a rejection or denial, but rather as a genuine statement that he needs time and will get back to you once he’s ready. 

9) “I’m proud of you for…” 

The emotionally intelligent guy loves to be specific about his statements of support. 

Not only is he stating his pride for you, he’s also making it specific about why. 

“They show support and praise and make it straightforward to a person that their achievements and success, big or small, are meaningful for them and worthy of celebration,” explains Dr. Hlivnenko.

10) “I respect your boundaries.” 

This is another high-EQ statement.

Of course, the proof is in the pudding, and it’s only valuable when it’s genuine. 

But when a man says this and proves it through his actions then his emotional intelligence isn’t in doubt:

Not only does he say he respects your boundaries, he also follows through and actually does so.

11) “I value our relationship, and I’m willing to…”

When a man values a relationship, he’s willing to compromise. 

This doesn’t necessarily mean he will change what he believes or do whatever you say.

But it does mean he will at least consider compromise and take  other points of view into consideration. 

In terms of work relationships, friendships, family ties and romantic relationships, he’s willing to really do what he can to understand and make them work, rather than just reacting. 

12) “I’m sorry, I was wrong about ____ and I accept responsibility.” 

Admitting a mistake and being direct about it is a hallmark of an emotionally intelligent guy. 

He was incorrect about something or did something that wasn’t the right move, and now he’s saying sorry about the specific matter at hand and accepting responsibility. 

This is much different than just saying “sorry,” which is very generic and often insincere.

“The problem with this one-word phrase is that as you know, I know, and whomever you’re saying it to knows, “sorry” is the absolute bare minimum apology word,” explains Bill Murphy Jr.

13) “That’s really interesting. Tell me more.” 

The high-EQ guy expresses interest in knowing more when he’s interested. 

Instead of just launching into his own interests or a tangent that allows him to flex, he opens the discussion up to more about the other person. 

This is both generous and high-EQ behavior. 

As Aditi Shrikant observes:

“They listen and then respond in a way that makes the other person feel understood… 

“If a person is talking about their recent vacation, someone with a high EQ will inquire about specifics or say “tell me more.” Someone with a lower EQ might start talking about their own trips.” 

14) “I’m working on improving myself in that area…”

The high-EQ guy is self-aware, including about his shortcomings. 

He has areas he is trying to improve himself and is aware of them. 

Rather than be offended or blindsided by recognition of his faults, he is eager to get to work on areas where he can improve. After all, life is a learning experience and the only shame is in not wanting to learn. 

15) “I appreciate your feedback and I’ll take your criticism into consideration.”

This ties into the previous point, because a high-EQ man isn’t scared of tough feedback or criticism: 

In fact, he welcomes it. 

This is a chance to improve and to find out where he could be doing better. 

Even if his first reaction is defensive, he thinks through that initial reaction and does his best to incorporate the feedback in a thoughtful way. 

16) Smiles without speaking.

Men with high emotional intelligence sometimes say the most when they say nothing at all. 

A smile and a nod of understanding can be the most valuable reaction of all in some circumstances. 

And a guy who truly gets it knows that sometimes talking is much less valuable than listening. 

As John White explains:

“Emotionally intelligent people know the value of patience and quiet, and when you’ve conditioned yourself to feel even a small amount of platonic love for people before interacting with them, it makes patience and silence very easy.”

Picture of Paul Brian

Paul Brian

Paul R. Brian is a freelance journalist and writer who has reported from around the world, focusing on religion, culture and geopolitics. Follow him on www.twitter.com/paulrbrian and visit his website at www.paulrbrian.com

Enhance your experience of Ideapod and join Tribe, our community of free thinkers and seekers.

Related articles

Most read articles

Get our articles

Ideapod news, articles, and resources, sent straight to your inbox every month.

0:00
0:00