Let’s be very real here: everybody lies.
So take a deep breath. If your man lied once or twice, it doesn’t mean he’s evil—he’s just human.
Still, no matter how small or reasonable the lies are, no one likes being lied to!
It’s still best to keep our relationships as honest as possible. And the first step is by being aware when someone lies so you can confront them directly.
Want to know when a man is lying to you?
Here are 9 phrases you should look out for.
1) “Anyway…”
He’s talking about something important, then you notice him tense up.
His body language clearly shows he’s lying, so you squint your eyes because intuitively you know you need to look deeper, “Mmmn… Wait a minute…something’s not right.”
But then he’d act like everything’s fine and go “Anyway…” hoping you’d forget what you just noticed.
What’s funny is that he’d talk about something totally random!
For example, he’d say “Well, my ex was there but she didn’t see me ”…then he’d go “Anyway, what did you have for lunch?” Or “Anyway, let’s talk about Bali, we’ve been planning for months! Let’s do it!”
Strange he has to change the topic so abruptly. He must be lying and hiding something from you.
2) “I’m not sure…”
“I took $1,000 or was it $2,000. I’m not sure…”
“She hugged me and I think she kissed me on the cheek but I was so drunk, I’m not sure…”
But the thing is, his body language shows he’s indeed very sure. He breaks eye contact and fidgets.
He just doesn’t want you to know that he’s aware of what he did because he’s scared of being judged and being held accountable for his actions.
Pay attention to how often he uses this line to lie to you.
Ask yourself this: Is he a genuinely forgetful person? If the answer is “no”, then there’s a chance that he’s indeed lying to you when he says “I’m not sure…”
3) “Uhhh…you misunderstood.”
You told him about something HE told you weeks ago.
Perhaps he promised he’d stop playing video games. And when you tell him “Hey, you said you’ll stop playing.”
He’d go “Whut? I never said that. You probably misunderstood me.”
Or perhaps he told you that your sister’s ignoring him and when you confronted your sister, she told you that never happened.
He’d go “Huh? You misunderstood. I said I’m worried your sister might ignore me because she was busy.”
Of course there’s a chance that you really misunderstood each other—or that you heard something different— but SOMETIMES, this line can be used as an excuse for a lie.
4) “So you’re saying I’m a liar?”
Liars love to make others feel guilty for even suspecting that they could be lying.
They’d do this when they know you have a big heart—like if you’re a highly sensitive person.
You see, when you hear these words, it’s difficult not to feel bad.
So you’d likely back off and say “No, I’m not saying that. Sorry if it feels that way. Of course I believe you.”
And you’d pretty much gaslight yourself and start believing whatever lies they tell you.
Next time a man uses these phrases on you, take a deep breath but don’t back off.
Instead, say “I want to understand you and know your side. I’m asking a question, not starting a fight.”
If they still guilt trip you to avoid the conversation, that’s a red flag for sure.
While a man may reactively say this phrase when triggered, once they’re made aware, a good one will choose to respond calmly and avoid misunderstandings.
5) “Who told you?!”
You confront him about something he’s said or done (that he doesn’t want you to find out), and at first he’d deny it to death.
He’d go “WHAT?! That’s crazy!”
And then seconds later, after a long pause, he’d go “Who told you?”
What’s a sure tell that he’s lying is that when you tell him who, the character assassination begins.
He’d say “What a traitor!” and enumerate all the times that person lied, cheated, and so on. He’d even say, “Don’t talk to them again!”
He’d even get dramatic and say “I can’t believe you trust them more than me!”
The thing is…the person who told you is a long-time reliable friend. He’s just angry that they “betrayed” him by reporting to you.
Someone who’s truly innocent would not be so furious. He might even encourage the two of you to talk to that person to set the record straight.
6) “What? Did I say that?!’
Say hello to the “forgetful” liar. He’d use his “forgetfulness” to get away with lies once you catch him.
It’s frustrating to deal with this kind of person. You wish you had an audio recorder every time you have a conversation with him because it’s become his habit.
And what’s worse is when he says “What? But that’s what YOU said!”
He’d make YOU feel like there’s something wrong with you for not remembering even the things YOU said.
It’s confusing, right?
It’s either he’s forgetful (since he can’t remember what HE said) or… he has such a good memory because he remembers all of the things you said!
But the thing is, he’ll choose what works for him to get what he wants—whether it means acting dumb or having perfect memory.
Be careful. This guy could be dangerous.
He might be a manipulative narcissist who can ruin your life.
7) “Really? You want to start another drama?”
Women are more in touch with their emotions…and this is great. But then some men shame them for it by calling them “dramatic.”
Rather than listening, holding space, or making time for a genuine conversation, they avoid it by making you ashamed for having feelings and raising a concern.
So if you suspect that a man is lying—and he uses this phrase, it’s possible that he’s triggered because the topic is just really sensitive.
He might be unaware why he’s so annoyed and is unconsciously doing anything to avoid it.
8) “Why do you have to know everything?”
When a man says this—and you’re not an annoyingly suspicious person—then he’s probably hiding something.
To a guilty man, even a simple question like “Who was at the party?” would sound like “Who were you making out with?”
The thing is, women don’t really start wanting to know everything unless they start to feel that there’s a reason to know.
And a man who truly cares for the relationship, and who has nothing to hide, would just answer the questions because it’s what’s good for the relationship.
And hey, because it’s easy to do—to just tell the truth.
The fact that he flipped when you simply asked a couple of questions just means those questions make him uncomfortable. And there might be a reason why…
9) “It’s nothing!”
Ask him details about something and he’d be very vague.
He’d make it seem like something’s not a big deal even if it actually is because…well, because he could be hiding something.
The thing is, if it really was “nothing”, talking about it shouldn’t be a problem, but why the strong feelings?
Well, he probably already lied and he doesn’t want to lie some more, or can’t come up with any new excuses.
So he’d tell you, “I don’t want to talk about it. It’s not important.”
Or “Nothing out-of-the-ordinary happened.”
And he’d shut you off and make you feel bad if you’d ask even one more question.
If he gives a strong reaction and tells you it’s nothing, trust me—it’s NOT nothing. There’s something there and you gotta dig.
Final thoughts
Here’s what you must remember: no one phrase here is 100% indicative that a man is not being honest with you.
You have to know the context, you have to dig deep, and you have to have a heart-to-heart conversation before you conclude they’re a lying, scheming psychopath.
These phrases are meant to cue you on the parts of the conversation (and your relationship) that can have more clarity.
And if you realize that he lies to you repeatedly, then it’s time to start thinking of ways to protect yourself!
He’s probably a pathological liar, and trust me—you’d rather be single than be in a relationship with one.
