If a man maintains these 8 boundaries, he has above-average emotional intelligence

As a man, creating boundaries isn’t about shutting down your feelings.

It’s about understanding them, managing them, and knowing when to let them in or keep them out.

And in my years as a relationship expert and the founder of Love Connection, I’ve noticed that men with above-average EQ often have certain boundaries in place.

In the following piece, I’ll be sharing these boundaries.

If you’re a man who maintains them, it’s a sign you possess high emotional intelligence.

Remember, it’s not about building walls but cultivating a strong understanding of your emotions and those around you.

Let’s explore these boundaries together.

1) Emotional self-awareness

You know that saying “know thyself”? It’s not just some ancient philosophical mumbo-jumbo, it’s the first boundary in emotional intelligence.

Emotional self-awareness is about understanding your own feelings.

It’s the ability to identify and name what you’re feeling and why.

It’s like being a detective, constantly on the lookout for clues that reveal your emotional state.

But it’s not enough to simply feel the emotion, you have to understand it.

Think about it like this: Feelings are just messages, signals that our brain is sending us.

And like any good detective, we have to be able to interpret these signals.

2) Emotional self-control

A wise man named Aristotle once said, “Anyone can become angry – that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way – this is not easy.”

And isn’t he right?

It’s one thing to understand your emotions, but it’s another thing entirely to control them.

Emotional self-control is about not allowing your emotions to dictate your actions.

I’m not saying you should suppress your feelings – far from it. It’s about expressing them in a healthy and constructive way.

In my years counseling couples and individuals, I’ve noticed that those with high emotional intelligence can ride out emotional storms without losing their cool.

They don’t let a bad mood lead to bad decisions.

So if you’re a man who can keep his emotions in check, even when things are spiralling out of control, then you’ve mastered the second boundary of emotional intelligence.

This is no small feat, my friend.

Remember, it’s okay to feel things deeply. But it’s crucial to express those feelings responsibly.

3) Empathy

Empathy is more than just understanding your own feelings; it’s about understanding the emotions of others.

It’s like stepping into another person’s shoes and seeing the world through their eyes.

Empathy is about acknowledging their feelings, even if you don’t necessarily agree with them.

As a relationship expert, I’ve seen how empathy can transform relationships.

It fosters a deeper connection between people and creates an environment of understanding and compassion.

In my book Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I delve deeper into the role of empathy in relationships.

It’s a must-read for anyone striving for healthier and more fulfilling connections.

For now, the gist is this: empathy is not just about understanding others; it’s about letting their experiences touch you.

4) Accepting criticism

Accepting criticism If a man maintains these 8 boundaries, he has above-average emotional intelligence

Now, here’s something that might seem counterintuitive: accepting criticism.

You might be thinking, “Tina, how is letting someone criticize me a sign of emotional intelligence?”

Well, let me explain.

Emotionally intelligent men don’t shy away from criticism.

They don’t see it as a personal attack, but rather as an opportunity for growth.

It’s not about being a doormat and accepting every negative comment thrown your way.

It’s about understanding that nobody is perfect, and that we all have areas we can improve on.

Criticism, when constructive, can be a valuable tool for personal development.

It’s about taking the emotion out of the equation and focusing on the feedback.

If you’re a man who can take criticism on the chin, learn from it and move forward, then you’ve crossed the fourth boundary of emotional intelligence.

5) Emotional expression

This one is close to my heart.

Emotional expression, or the ability to communicate your feelings effectively, is essential in maintaining emotionally intelligent boundaries.

For a long time, society has conditioned men to suppress their feelings, to be the “strong, silent type.”

But let me tell you, there’s nothing strong about bottling up your emotions.

Emotionally intelligent men know how to express their feelings in a healthy and constructive way.

They don’t shy away from saying “I love you” or “I’m sorry.”

They understand that vulnerability isn’t a sign of weakness, but of strength.

In my own life, I’ve found that expressing my emotions openly and honestly has led to deeper connections and more fulfilling relationships.

And for men too, expressing your emotions doesn’t make you less of a man.

It makes you a human. And it’s one of the bravest things you could ever do.

6) Saying no

This one might hit hard: learning to say no.

We often associate saying yes with being a good person, a team player, or a caring friend.

But let’s be honest, constantly saying yes can lead to emotional exhaustion.

Emotionally intelligent men understand the importance of setting boundaries and protecting their emotional wellbeing.

They know that saying no isn’t about being selfish; it’s about self-preservation.

It’s not easy to say no, especially to the people we care about.

But remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup.

You need to take care of your own emotional health first.

7) Self-care

Have you ever heard of the saying by Audre Lorde, “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare”? I couldn’t agree more.

Self-care isn’t just about bubble baths and spa days (although those are nice too!).

It’s about taking care of your emotional health.

Emotionally intelligent men understand the importance of taking time for themselves.

They know that in order to be there for others, they first need to take care of themselves.

In my own life, I’ve found that regular self-care routines have helped me stay balanced and emotionally healthy.

Whether it’s a quiet morning coffee, a jog in the park or simply reading a good book, these moments of solitude are essential for my emotional health and wellbeing.

8) Asking for help

This one’s tough to swallow for many: asking for help.

In our society, asking for help is often seen as a sign of weakness, especially for men.

But let’s get real here.

Emotionally intelligent men understand that they can’t do everything on their own.

They know that it’s okay to admit when they’re overwhelmed or uncertain, and to reach out to others for support.

It’s not about being helpless or dependent.

It’s about acknowledging that we’re all human and that we all need help sometimes. It’s a sign of strength and humility.

And it’s a crucial part of maintaining your emotional health.

Final thoughts

There you have it, gentlemen. Eight boundaries that indicate above-average emotional intelligence.

Navigating emotions isn’t always easy, and it takes a significant amount of self-awareness and courage.

But remember, emotional intelligence isn’t a fixed trait – it’s something you can improve with practice and patience.

I delve deeper into these topics in my book Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship.

It’s a comprehensive guide to understanding your emotions and building healthier relationships.

Remember, taking care of your emotional health is one of the most important things you can do for yourself and your relationships.

And as always, I’m here to support you on this journey.

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Justin Brown

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