There’s something magnetic about a confident man. The way he walks into a room and commands respect from the people he meets, he gets attention for all the right reasons.
But the real question is, how do you know the difference between a confident and secure man and someone who’s just downright arrogant?
It’s all in the way he walks, talks, and smiles.
The best way to tell if you’re dealing with self-assurance and if a man is truly confident is that he’ll usually display the ten behaviors that I describe below.
Let me help you unpack those confident traits, so you know how to spot an authentic man.
1) He’s cool, calm, and collected.
A man who’s confident is self-assured, and that means that he’s in control of his emotions and secure with who he is.
The reason I mention cool, calm, and collected is because secure men keep their temper in check, and they do their very best to treat others with respect.
Let’s just say…
You went to a restaurant, and you saw a man who was clearly on a date shouting at the waiter because of a wrong order; what impression would they give you?
I don’t think you would see a strong and confident person, but rather someone who comes across as entitled and unable to handle their anger.
Maintaining one’s composure, even in challenging situations, is a sure sign of confidence.
Remember, when you’re self-assured, you know how to assert yourself without insulting or humiliating others.
You’re also better equipped to regulate your emotions, which helps you handle conflict in a healthy and less reactive way.
2) He is authentic.
There’s nothing more impressive than someone who can be their authentic selves.
This means that they’re comfortable in their skin, and they’re happy just to be who they are in any situation or setting.
Secure men don’t find pretense rewarding, and you certainly won’t find them hiding behind a mask or changing their personalities to fit in with the crowd.
They own who they are.
You can see it in the way they communicate, which means paying attention to their body language. Security is not about over-the-top gestures and talking at the top of your voice.
That’s just being an attention seeker, and it’s a far cry from being your authentic self.
3) He is extremely self-aware.
Self-awareness is all about understanding how you feel, and when you’re a confident man, there’s one thing that you keep under control.
That’s your emotions.
Self-aware men realize they have weaknesses, too, and they aren’t afraid to reach out for help when they need it.
This is what they don’t do…
They don’t second-guess themselves because they know that progress and preparation can only come from the right mindset.
Their self-awareness helps them work through extremely challenging situations without coming to an end feeling like a failure. They have a purpose in life, and they apply themselves no matter the circumstance.
4) He dresses to impress.
If there’s one behavior that’s definitely associated with confidence, it’s investing in one’s appearance.
When you feel confident, you pay attention to what you wear and focus on things like keeping your hair styled and your wardrobe neat.
A neat presentation is about taking pride in yourself.
Don’t get me wrong, dressing to impress is definitely within reason! I’m not talking about someone who goes to the salon every week or constantly checks themselves out in the mirror.
I’m talking about a guy who doesn’t look sloppy and understands the importance of balance by taking care of his physical appearance.
It’s simply about feeling good, and when you feel good, you look great.
5) He has a positive outlook on life.
Confidence is a feeling and a strong mindset, and self-assured men know this. By recognizing your strengths and your self-worth, you find it easier to see the positive things in life.
It’s not unusual to feel defeated when things don’t go as we hoped. But when you have confidence and a positive attitude, you don’t look at life’s failures as the be-all and end-all.
A confident man knows this.
Men who feel positive have an optimistic attitude, and they’re ready to tackle their day with a true sense of enthusiasm. They get up when their alarm goes off every morning, and they have a plan of action to reach their goals.
Along with their general positivity, men who have strong self-esteem only align themselves with other supportive and positive people.
You certainly won’t find a confident man socializing with people who have no life goals or a negative attitude.
So, if you want to know whether a man is confident or if you want to feel more secure, a positive mindset and having the right people on your side can make all the difference.
6) He knows how to have fun.
Confident men live fulfilling lives, which means that they take time out to do the things that they feel passionate about.
Because they aren’t arrogant, they can laugh at themselves, and they find humor in most things.
This doesn’t mean that they’re immature!
They just have a very good sense of humor and understand that life is about balance.
As I like to say, there’s a time for work and a time for play.
And they don’t insult or belittle other people, either. Self-assured men have fun, but not at someone else’s expense. There’s no need to break someone else down for their own amusement.
I want you to recognize that feeling confident and self-assured means being treated fairly when you’re in a relationship. Authentic people who are comfortable with themselves will not humiliate others by “having fun” by hurting them.
In this case, look out for signs of emotional manipulation.
7) He embraces change.
Change happens throughout our lives, and we can either accept it or resist it.
For many, change is tough to accept because we naturally fear the unknown. Now couple this with low self-esteem, and you’ll see why it becomes difficult to acknowledge something new and unfamiliar in our path.
A confident man, on the other hand, has the mental fortitude and maturity to recognize that change is a natural part of life.
Even when it’s tough, they have a positive attitude because they know that embracing change, rather than resisting it, is the best way to learn and grow.
How can you possibly be confident in change?
Well, confident men are not held back when things don’t work out as planned. They take the time to understand why it is happening, and even if they cannot control the outcome, they accept the process.
It’s all about a strong and positive mindset, even when unsure of the end result.
8) He shows gratitude.
While confident men are seen as strong and masculine, there’s another side to them that many don’t know about.
It’s called humility.
It shows in their attitude, conversations, and overall behavior.
A truly confident man will always show his appreciation for others, whether by thanking a colleague for their assistance on a project or letting his significant other know how much he cares about them.
He’s all about action and will do things to show his gratitude without any airs and graces.
9) He maintains good eye contact.
One of the most obvious insecure behaviors is an inability to maintain someone’s gaze.
If you’re not very confident and you happen to speak to someone who intimidates or overwhelms you, it’s incredibly hard to maintain really strong eye contact.
But men who have positive self-worth have no problem looking into your eyes when speaking to you because they have nothing to hide.
The reason that so much emphasis is placed on this behavior is that it is considered respectful and a sign of honesty.
You’ll notice in conversation that a confident guy will maintain a fair amount of eye contact without making you feel intimidated. They’re meant to show you that they’re attentive and not challenging you.
When you’re talking to someone, a healthy balance of eye contact, which includes breaking your gaze every now and then, will make the other person feel at ease.
10) He speaks with clarity.
There’s a very broad line (not a fine line) between being confident and acting loud and obnoxious.
Confident men are secure in their own skin, and when they communicate, they speak in a clear and consistent voice with good cadence.
They don’t mumble, whisper, or use lots of filler words because they want to ensure that their message is delivered as intended.
Along with the consistency of their tone, men with strong self-worth will have a genuine smile and a relaxed expression.
There’s no sign of tension or anxiety that you would otherwise notice with twitching, excessive blinking, or frowning.
Confidence in men is not about how loud they can speak or how many people they know. It’s about being authentic in everything they do, from their interactions to the way they dress.
Confident behaviors in men include goal-setting, humility, and keeping good eye contact during conversations.
They’re highly self-aware and respectful of others’ opinions, so you’ll rarely find them losing their cool or showing extreme bouts of jealousy in a relationship.
Self-assured men are go-getters.
When you’re confident, you back what you say with action, and one thing I know for sure is that secure men will always follow through with actions more than words.