If a man displays these 9 behaviors, he’s probably hiding something from you

Do you ever get that gut feeling that something’s off with who you assumed to be Mr Right, your white knight/Prince Charming?

And although we live in a world where we’re told to stay alert and keep an eye out for this love of your life on dating apps, it’s not about being paranoid but about recognizing the signs that suggest that something is actually amiss.

The difference is in the details, my friend; if a man starts behaving out of character and deviating from how he normally acts, he may well be hiding something from you.

Understanding these behaviors is all about being aware and observant. And let me assure you, there are certain patterns that can wave a big red flag, that you need to be aware of.

So I’m going to share with you the 9 telling behaviors that could indicate your man is concealing something from you, so that you can approach the situation with knowledge and tact if it does arise.

*disclaimer – don’t go looking for red flags do not exist, as this will mean you find them where there are none and might spoil a perfectly healthy relationship 

1) Sudden changes in routine

We all have our routines and habits. It’s part of what makes us who we are, and if you’ve been with this special someone for a while, you know their routine almost off by heart.

Because in relationships, these routines often become shared. They grow and intertwine to form a familiar rhythm to our daily lives, and if you’re edging towards long-term, you know his schedule just as he knows yours.

But when your man suddenly makes drastic changes to his routine, it could be a sign that he’s hiding something.

It’s not about being overly suspicious; it’s about noticing the shifts that seem out of the norm. If he starts coming home late from work without a logical explanation, hitting the gym every night, or his weekend plans suddenly become secretive, your gut feeling might be onto something.

Be observant and mindful. Remember, it’s not about accusing him without cause, but understanding the situation better.

But again, approach with caution and tact. Changes in behavior can signal various things, not just secrets.

And don’t jump to conclusions; instead, start a conversation.

2) Excessive privacy with his phone

We all need our personal space, even within a relationship. But there’s a difference between respecting privacy and feeling completely shut out – both offline and online.

In the digital age, a sudden increase in phone privacy can raise eyebrows. If your partner starts to get jittery every time you’re near his phone, quickly flipping it around when you’re in the room, or he changes his phone’s password suddenly, something might be up.

Again, it’s not about snooping or crossing boundaries, but about recognizing potential red flags.

As always, communication is key. It’s better to discuss your concerns openly rather than jumping to conclusions.

3) He avoids certain topics

Communication is the lifeblood of any relationship. It’s through sharing and discussing that we grow closer to our partners.

But what happens when certain topics seem to be off-limits?

If your partner abruptly changes the subject or becomes defensive when you bring up specific topics, it may be a sign of something being secreted away.

However, this isn’t a green light to push him on topics he clearly isn’t comfortable discussing. Respect his boundaries but address sudden changes in what he is and isn’t comfortable discussing, and remind yourself that understanding is the first step towards resolution.

4) He’s overly defensive

signs your partner has a fear of losing control in the relationship If a man displays these 9 behaviors, he's probably hiding something from you

Defensiveness can be a natural response when we feel either cornered or accused. Even if we’ve done nothing wrong, we still jump back and prepare for battle.

But when it becomes a regular pattern, it’s a behavior which is worth paying attention to.

If your partner starts to get defensive over minor issues or questions, it could be an indication that he’s feeling guilty about something. Take extra caution if it seems like he’s trying to deflect attention away from himself, or even create a smokescreen to hide behind.

It’s essential to approach this type of situation gently.

An open and calm conversation can help bring down the defensive walls and get to the heart of the matter, and you never know – he might not be getting defensive about something that even concerns you. 

5) His stories just don’t add up

Honesty is fundamental in any relationship. It’s the glue that holds the trust together and unites couples, even amidst hardship.

But if your partner’s stories start to have inconsistencies or he seems to forget details he previously mentioned, it could be a sign that something’s not quite right…

People often struggle to keep their stories straight when they’re hiding something. It’s like trying to juggle while walking on a tightrope – eventually, something’s bound to drop. 

It’s essential not to jump to conclusions, though. Instead, pay attention to the details (and the lies, if so) and what exactly it is in his stories that is changing, and then ask for clarity about the things that confuse you.

Open communication (if he’s willing to engage) could be the defining factor in helping you understand what’s really going on.

6) He’s growing distant

In every relationship, there are ebbs and flows in your connection.

This covers how close and ‘in love’ couples feel, at times. They can move between times of intense closeness where the honeymoon period starts all over again, and times when both parties need a little space and get on each other’s nerves.

But when the distance becomes a constant and it feels like you’ve been at opposite ends of the table, it can be truly alarming.

If your partner starts to become emotionally distant, unresponsive, or detached, it could be that he’s wrestling with something he’s not ready to share. His thoughts might be preoccupied with this undisclosed issue, creating an emotional gap between you two.

Remember, it’s not about forcing him to open up (or forcing yourself upon him), but letting him know that you’re there for him.

Sometimes, all we need is a safe space to share our fears and secrets.

7) He’s overly compensating

Sometimes, when a man (or anybody, really) is hiding something, they might overcompensate in other areas to distract you or alleviate their own guilt.

This could manifest as sudden bursts of affection, unexpected gifts, or going above and beyond in ways he usually doesn’t.

And whilst it’s lovely to be spoiled, it’s also important to trust your gut.

If something feels out of the norm and you’re being showered with affection (and it sure ain’t your birthday), it might be someone trying to make up for a guilty conscience…

As always, communication is key; it’s better to discuss your feelings than to let them fester.

8) He’s evasive about future plans

feeling trapped signs youre in a relationship for reasons of convenience If a man displays these 9 behaviors, he's probably hiding something from you

Planning for the future is a significant part of any relationship. It shows a commitment and a desire to share your life with someone – even if you don’t end up in a house with a white picket fence, by the sea, with four children etc. etc.

But if your man starts to evade conversations about the future altogether, or is incredibly vague about plans, something might be amiss. It could be that he’s wrestling with something he hasn’t shared yet, and it’s affecting his ability to commit to future plans.

However, take a deep breath and remind yourself that the solution is not pressuring him into making commitments but understanding where his hesitations are coming from, and trying to work together to alleviate any worries.

9) Your gut feeling tells you something’s off

Never underestimate the power of your intuition. Even if you’re anxious as hell, your gut can sometimes know when something off far before your brain is made aware of it.

Our intuition and our gut are our innate radar systems, alerting us when something doesn’t seem right.

So if your gut feeling tells you that your man is hiding something, don’t ignore it.

It’s not about snooping or creating unnecessary drama, but trusting yourself.

Your intuition is a powerful tool, so use it wisely; listen to it, trust it, and let it guide your conversations and actions in your relationship.

What to do if you suspect he’s hiding something…

Understanding human behavior is complex and multifaceted, especially when it comes to matters of the heart. As much focus as we place upon letting your intuition guide you, it needs also to be said that you have to allow other people to have their say and to prove their truth, too.

In relationships, trust and communication are paramount. People hide secrets and lie, but sometimes for good reason, too.

If you notice your man displaying these secretive behaviors, it might be an indication he’s hiding something – but it might also not mean the end of everything as you know it.

This is why it’s important to remember that it’s not about jumping to conclusions or creating a scene, but about having patience and understanding to have an open conversation and go from there.

And trust that no matter what, you have your own back and will be okay.

Liv Walde

Liv Walde

London-based writer with big thoughts, big dreams, and a passion for helping others.

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