Ah, new love. There’s nothing quite like a budding relationship. Everything’s fresh, exciting, and full of potential. You’ve even met each other’s friends.
You’re at that fun stage. You know, the part where you discover what makes each other tick (or cringe). Mostly, you’re deciding if this thing has steam or if it’s another short-lived romance to add to the list.
Right now – it’s hard to see past those dreamy eyes, tender promises, and pheromones.
But those rose-tinted glasses are starting to crack, and the man you thought you were falling for isn’t quite what he first seemed.
He’s become secretive, clingy, jealous, and possessive. Not to mention, his ego is so fragile it’s like stepping on eggshells. You start to wonder – is this behavior new, or was he always this way?
You’re confused and unsure what to do.
Well, if a man displays these seven behaviors, odds are, he’s really insecure. So, if you want to avoid entering another toxic relationship, read on and take heed.
1) He’s a “yes” man
Wow. You’ve finally found a guy who likes the same obscure K-dramas as you.
Come to think of it, he also shares your love of pineapple pizza and your fondness for black licorice (you know, the salty kind). Usually, no one likes that.
Hmm… wait a minute. Is there anything he doesn’t like?
You can’t remember the last time he disagreed with you – ever. Not even once!
Perhaps you’ve found yourself the perfect boyfriend. Or maybe, you’ve fallen for a “yes” man.
That’s right – your new beau is a people pleaser.
He’s so insecure that he can’t help but agree with everything you say. Deep down he has an opinion, it’s just buried under a pile of anxiety and a fear of rejection.
Not only that, but he hates conflict. And in his mind, if he dares rock the boat, you’ll leave him in a flash. In short, it’s like dating a chameleon, only less colorful.
The sad thing is – all this does is push you further away. Because let’s face it, no one wants to date a human doormat.
2) He’s a possessive clingy mess
He likes all your photos and comments on every post. He even knows what you did last summer. He seems genuinely interested in your life, friends, and hobbies.
Basically – he’s your biggest online fan.
It seems sweet, at first. But it doesn’t take long before his behavior seems a little off.
Now, out of nowhere, he’s bringing up decades-old photos and quizzing you over that birthday message from a male coworker. What’s more, he won’t stop messaging you when you’re out with the girls.
It’s giving serious stalker vibes. But it doesn’t stop there.
When you’re out together he’s just as bad. He clings to you like a finger monkey – only it’s not cute, it reeks of desperation. And no matter how much you reassure him, he can’t stop imagining scenarios where you’ve betrayed him.
Sound familiar? Well, he’s probably insecure.
3) He won’t stop apologizing
Who doesn’t love a man who’s accountable for his mistakes?
And your man? Well, he utters “I’m sorry” whenever he does something wrong – no prompt needed.
Here’s the thing – he also says it when things aren’t his fault, like the weather or the price of avocados. Honestly, he says “sorry” so much it’s becoming a problem.
And now that you’re aware of it, you can’t not hear the constant apologies.
I know, I know. It seems like a silly thing to get annoyed about. Hey, it even seemed gallant, to begin with.
But the truth is – the more he does it, the less sincere he seems. Maybe even a little passive-aggressive. And you’re not wrong. There’s research to back this up.
So why can’t he stop apologizing?
4) He won’t stop comparing himself to others
Green is his favorite color, but not because it’s stylish.
Nope. He can’t stop comparing himself to others which makes him insanely jealous. Be it your promotion at work or his friend’s brand-new car, he can’t help but turn green with envy.
Simply put – he’s resentful.
Most of all, he can’t handle your success without a side dish of bitterness. Because to him, he just doesn’t quite measure up – to you or his peers.
Additionally, as his anxiety builds, he can’t help but wonder if he’s worthy of love. And over time, his behavior becomes belligerent and hostile.
In reality, he’s fearful. That negative self-image of his has him feeling insecure and unsure of your future together.
Truth is – that downtrodden attitude becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. And in the end, it only creates more distance between you both.
5) He can’t go a day without posting on social media
On the flip side, online he’s a completely different man. That’s right! Your new man is a social media addict.
Not only is he always on his phone (updating his “fans”). But his camera roll is an endless scroll of selfies from every conceivable angle.
At first glance, he seems vain, a player, and a one-man bragging machine. Quite frankly, that peacocking bravado is getting on your nerves.
The thing is – it’s all a smokescreen.
Those endless updates, photos, and posts are his way of gaining social recognition. It’s classic validation-seeking behavior.
Basically, he’s fishing for compliments and “likes” to boost his self-esteem. Because beneath all the Instagram filters, is a deeply insecure man.
6) He’s constantly one-upping others
Emotions are running high, and you’re so taken aback by his devilish mystique and remarkable charm that you didn’t see it at first.
But he keeps putting people down.
Not only that – but no matter what you’ve done, he’s done it bigger, better, and with more bells and whistles on. It’s like he’s on a mission to prove to anyone you’ll listen that he’s winning at life.
Real talk – he’s overcompensating, and this man is actually really insecure. In fact, all that bragging and one-upping is a sign that he has low self-esteem.
Something which brings us to the final behavior…
7) He has an extremely fragile ego
If we’re being honest here, you’ve been completely swept off your feet and you’re falling hard. He might be the one. There’s just one thing bothering you…
He can’t handle criticism.
It’s funny – because he has no problem dishing it out. Or bragging about how great he is. But even the tiniest comment or hint of constructive feedback sends him off the rails.
In fact, his emotional radar is so finely tuned that even the slightest breeze can send him into a tailspin of anxiety.
Well, that’s his insecurity coming out to play.
And if you notice any of the behaviors mentioned above, it might be time to put that romance on ice. At least until he’s ready to address some of those deep-rooted issues.