Dear Evie, I met my perfect perfect man on an app a few weeks ago. He is everything I’m looking for, both in personality and looks. We hit it off immediately and had been chatting non-stop for weeks, sending selfies and songs and uncovering so many shared interests. We started planning our first date, and he said he would drive to see me, had the restaurant and hotel booked, the whole package. But then, out of the blue, he stopped responding. His profile is still active, he’s changed his pictures recently but my messages go unanswered. I’m baffled and heartbroken. Did I do something wrong? Is there any way to find out what happened, or should I just move on? – Carolyn, York
Dear Carolyn,
Oh, honey, I’ve been there. That feeling when you think you’ve found “the one,” only to have them vanish away into nothingness – it’s a special kind of heartbreak.
It’s easy to get swept up in the whirlwind of those early connections, especially when they seem so perfect. We start building this whole fantasy around them, filling in the blanks with our own hopes and dreams. Before you know it, you’ve got a silhouette of a White Knight in shining armor hanging out in your head full-time!
But here’s the hard truth: sometimes, people just disappear.
Maybe he got cold feet, maybe he met someone else, maybe he’s battling his own demons – we’ll probably never know. And as frustrating as that is, trying to figure out the “why” will only drive you crazy.
It’s not your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong. Sometimes, people just aren’t ready for what we have to offer, or they’re not who we thought they were. It stings, but it’s a part of life. I remember once falling head over heels for a guy who seemed perfect on paper. We had endless conversations, shared playlists, the works. But when it came time to meet, he ghosted me. It took me a while to realize that I had fallen for the idea of him, not the actual person.
So, what now?
First, give yourself permission to grieve. Cry, vent to your friends, eat a whole pint of ice cream – whatever you need to do to process the disappointment. But then, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get back out there.
Remember, this one guy doesn’t define your worth or your chances of finding love.
There are plenty of other amazing people out there waiting to connect with you. And next time, try to take things a little slower. Enjoy the getting-to-know-you phase, but don’t build a whole castle in the sky before you’ve even had a first date.
You’re strong, you’re resilient, and you deserve someone who’s excited to meet you in real life, not just in your chat history. Keep your head up, and keep believing in love. It’s out there waiting for you.
Evie
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