“I realized I loved her after we broke up” – 25 tips if this is you

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Breaking up is hard to do, but it might be even harder when you realize that you are in love with the person who broke your heart.

There are plenty of signs that can point to this realization.

I have put together a list of things to help you find the answer for yourself.

I will show you.

1) Your heart still hurts

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The first sign you are in love with your ex-partner is that you can’t forget about them, you don’t want to, and it hurts.

To be honest, I have been there.

You thought the pain would disappear after a month or two, but it lingers. It may even feel worse than when you were just broken up.

The image of their face makes your heart beat faster and they are all you can think about every time you remember them.

That’s the kind of power love has over us.

2) You feel like crying

You have never considered yourself to be an emotional person, but the truth is that you have been more emotional since you broke up.

Annoying isn’t it?

You don’t cry often but it happens a lot lately.

The truth is…

You are feeling vulnerable and missing the person you used to be with.

3) You wish the break-up never happened

You thought that a breakup was inevitable but now you wish you hadn’t done it.

It forced you to realize how much the two of you need each other.

You miss them and because of this, your feelings for them have gotten stronger rather than weaker.

So what can you do in this situation? It can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.

With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice tailored to the specific issues you’re facing in your love life.

Relationship Hero is a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people navigate complex and difficult love situations, like how to get an ex back. They’re popular because they genuinely help people solve problems.

Why do I recommend them?

Well, after going through difficulties in my own love life, I reached out to them a few months ago. After feeling helpless for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship, including practical advice on how to overcome the issues I was facing.

I was blown away by how genuine, understanding and professional they were.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice specific to your situation.

Click here to get started.

4) You have never been so mad

Even though you knew it was coming, the breakup still felt like a slap to the face.

And what’s worse?

You are angry at them, maybe even yourself, and you wish things did not end the way they did.

In fact, you are probably angry about how the whole relationship even went.

Admittedly, many times anger can come from repressed feelings of love that have now been released and implanted into your heart once more.

5) You will cry over them

Obviously, you will miss the person when you love them.

I know the feeling.

And of course, the pain still exists when they are not around, but it takes a different form.

Admit it…

Instead of crying about what they’ve done or why things didn’t work out between the two of you, you are now crying because all of a sudden everything about your relationship reminds you of them.

Whenever someone mentions their name or looks at your phone, somehow it’s always related to them and that makes you sad.

Yes, you are still in love with her.

6) You will drift towards them

Whenever you are with friends and family, your mind will wander to the time you spent with them.

Does this sound like you?

You will be looking at your phone and thinking about how you wish they were here next to you.

Because it’s so clear that they are not in your life anymore, you are now more aware of their absence than before. You need them to make everything feel better.

7) You can’t sleep because there are so many thoughts running through your head

When you’re living with all these doubts about the broken-up, it’s normal to experience insomnia. The memory of your ex keeps running through your head.

What do you think you can do about that?

It can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.

That’s what I recently did.

When I was at the worst point in my relationship I reached out to a relationship coach to see if they could give me any answers or insights.

I expected some vague advice about cheering up or being strong.

But surprisingly I got very in-depth, specific and practical advice about addressing the problems in my relationship. This included real solutions to improving many things that my partner and I had been struggling with for years.

Relationship Hero is where I found this special coach who helped turn things around for me. They are perfectly placed to help you get an ex back too.

Relationship Hero is a hugely popular relationship coaching site because they provide solutions, not just talk.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice specific to your situation.

Click here to check them out.

8) You can’t stop thinking about them

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You know that you should be over the breakup and that a few months is enough time to move on, but it hasn’t happened yet.


You are unable to take your mind off of what happened and how things ended between the two of you.

However, something about it still feels unfinished, and sometimes you can’t seem to stop thinking about what went wrong when you were in a relationship with them for so long.

9) You won’t ask another person out

Ever since the breakup, you have no interest in meeting new people, even though you are completely capable of doing so.

You have always been able to attract someone else, but now that your emotions are running high due to the breakup, you are completely incapable of concentrating on anything else.

More than that….

You know you should go on dates, but the thought of another person going out with you makes you realize just how much you miss them.

You feel like you’re better off being alone. It would be awkward to date someone else while still being with the person you love, so you just stay home and avoid anything social or fun.

10) You will want to hear their voice

The other day, someone mentioned their name and that name instantly took over your mind.

It filled your thoughts and you couldn’t stop thinking about them.

You had a feeling that they were the only ones you missed, but now you realize that this is completely true.

The fact of the matter is….

No matter how badly things ended between the two of you, you will always miss their voice and the way they would hold your hand when they were close to you.

11) You want to tell them everything about your life

The truth is that after a breakup, you want to be with someone to who you can tell everything.

This is hard to find after a breakup because your life is in flux and nothing makes sense anymore.

My point is this…

Your ex helped you through a lot of things and they managed to go deeper than anyone else ever did.

Even though the relationship is over, your heart still feels connected and wouldn’t mind at all hearing their voice again and you just want to tell them everything again as the breakup has never happened.

12) You want to spend more time with them

You tried to see them again, but it was just too hard.

They seemed to have moved on, which makes you realize that you should do the same. You try your best not to think about them and put your energy into other things.

But no matter how hard you try, there is always this hole that hurts when you look at the place they used to sit in your office or the empty spot where they should have been if they were still around.

Reality is…

You realized you loved her and see her in person again.

13) You want to tell them how much they mean to you

You want to tell them how much they mean to you, but the words get stuck in your throat.

I know the feeling.

It’s a whole new level of pain and you are embarrassed to admit how much they mean to you.

The thing is that you couldn’t come close to saying how much they mean to you.

You really want to tell them how badly it feels being without them.

14) You miss their sense of humor

You miss their sense of humor even though things ended up badly.

You both had a great time making fun of others and laughing at the most ridiculous things.

Though it ended badly, you will always miss their sense of humor and wish that everything was still the way it was before.

15) You are confused

You get your mind completely confused over the breakup.

You want to know why it happened and why you did such a silly thing of ending the relationship.

Beyond that, you try to figure out if you did something wrong, or if there is something that you could have done to make the relationship work.

But then it hits you that you really have problems and that things were probably messed up from the start.

16) You can’t get over them

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Everything reminds you of them which makes it hard for you to move on with things.

But that’s not all…

You will realize that you can’t live without them and miss them so much during the process.

You feel sad and lonely when they are not around because you know that they fill a gap in your heart.

Let’s face it…

It’s not easy to live without someone who was there for you, and it takes time to heal after such a painful experience.

17) You want to know what happened

You ask the same question over and over again, but there is no answer.

You ask your friends or family members, but they don’t really know what happened or why they left you.

There has to be an explanation as to why this happened because it doesn’t make sense at all.

I know that’s what you thinking, right?

They just walked out on you one day and replaced you with someone else, and that makes no sense at all. You just wonder how this happened and why they did that to you.

18) You miss their presence

You miss their presence and everything about them.

Even though things ended badly, you will always remember how much you cared about them and how much you wanted the relationship to work.

You feel sad because you lost someone special to you. You were really close to them and that’s hard to come to terms with, but it hurts so badly.

19) You are always asking yourself if she loves you or not.

This is an odd question for someone in a relationship who has already broken up with their significant other, but it’s one that is important to consider.

You know that they were the woman of your dreams, but you also want to know if the relationship was real and what kind of impact it really meant to them.

20) You want their happiness above all else — even if it’s with someone else

You definitely don’t want them to move on with another relationship at this point, but you also want the best for them (because you realized you loved her).

Seeing that someone else might make them happier makes you happy to see them happy — even if it’s with someone else.

21) You’re willing to put your pride aside

This is a big one that people rarely talk about because it’s so hard.

If you really still love someone after breaking up, you may be willing to throw your pride and ego away to make things work.

However, in some cases, this could be the wrong decision for both of you if things are too damaged.

22) You really want to know if they’ve gotten over you . . . but are afraid of the answer

You want to be happy for them, but because you’re still having mixed feelings about the breakup, you really don’t want to know how they feel.

You’re afraid their happiness will prove that they’ve moved on and are over you.

23) You want to get back together with them before it’s too late

You know that it’s not right yet and that you still have some more time to really consider this, but your mind is racing with the idea of getting back together with them.

You’re hoping that they’ll realize their feelings for you again and can be happy with you again.

24) You feel lonely

You start feeling lonely because they are not around anymore.

The fact is you miss their presence and you start wondering how your life would have been if they were there with you.

You start thinking that perhaps you made the wrong decision by breaking up with them, and then you get frustrated at yourself for even thinking about it.

25) You worry about them

You worry about them because you are not sure what they are up to.

You worry whether they are happy or sad, and sometimes you feel like wanting to go back to them.

You feel bad for breaking up with them and wonder if it was the best decision for you.

Final words

Did you relate to any of these things?

We all have different experiences and situations that we go through in life, but one thing is for sure – it’s hard letting go of someone you are close to.

Somehow at the end of the day, if you want to be happy and be able to move on with your life, then the best thing to do is let go.

But if you really want your ex back for good?

If you want to get back together but this time in a happier, more committed relationship, it’s simple:

Rewrite the story of your relationship.

Show him that this time around things will be different. Change the way he sees you and allow him to picture a brand new relationship with you.

This is much more effective than trying to convince him that what you had before was worth going back to.

I learned this from relationship expert James Bauer. In this excellent video, he’ll give you step-by-step methods to get your ex back, including simple but powerful texts and phrases you can use.

So if you want to give things another chance, but this time with a breath of fresh air and a healthier relationship outlook, don’t hesitate to check out James’ advice.

Here’s a link to the free video once again.


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Kathy Lee

Hi, I am Kathy. I am a blogger, contemporary dancer, yogis, traveler, and dreamer. Currently exploring the amazing Thailand. The beach is my happy place. I love sharing thoughts and feelings through dancing or writing. My dogs are my best friends. What I believe in: Simplicity. Kindness. Love. Ice-cream.

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