Hi there. I made the age old mistake of getting an old flame’s name tattooed on my ribs a few years ago. I was a lot younger and a big idealist. I definitely wouldn’t repeat the same mistake twice! Nearly 7 years have passed and I’m in a healthy, happy relationship with someone I love and value. Now, my current partner isn’t comfortable with the fact that I have someone else’s name tattooed on my body (we discussede this and they agreed they’d be okay if it was a family member/pet etc.). They’ve asked that I begin the process of getting it removed, but I’m not sure I want to. I don’t care about my ex whatsoever, but the tattoo holds more meaning about life, growth, and the lessons you learn along the way. At the same time, should I honor my current partner’s wishes and get it removed? – Anon
Hey there,
Ah, the impulsive tattoo – a badge of youthful exuberance we sometimes end up wearing a little longer than intended. Believe me, I’ve got a few questionable choices from my younger days etched into my skin, so I totally get it. The tattoo might represent something more profound to you now, a reminder of lessons learned and personal growth.
But, here’s the rub: you’re in a new chapter of your life, with a partner who has their own feelings and boundaries. It’s great that you’ve had an open conversation about it, and it’s understandable that your partner isn’t thrilled about sharing you with a permanent reminder of your past.
I’m a firm believer in not changing ourselves for someone else, but relationships require compromise. It’s about finding that delicate balance between honoring your own autonomy and respecting your partner’s needs.
I once had a partner who was uncomfortable with a piercing I had. It wasn’t a big deal to me, but it clearly bothered them. After a lot of back and forth, I decided to take it out. For me, it wasn’t about erasing a part of myself, it was about showing my partner that their feelings mattered to me.
In your case, the tattoo is more than just an aesthetic choice; it holds personal significance. Perhaps you could try explaining its deeper meaning and the feelings you attach to it to your partner, and see if that helps them understand your perspective.
Ultimately, the decision is yours. If getting it removed feels like betraying yourself, then don’t do it. But, if it’s something you can live without, and it would bring your partner peace of mind, then maybe it’s a compromise worth considering.
Just remember, true love isn’t about erasing your past, it’s about embracing each other’s present and building a future together.
Evie
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