“I do everything for my girlfriend and get nothing in return.”: 10 tips if this is you

Do you feel like you do everything for your girlfriend and get nothing in return?

If so, this is definitely not the best of feelings.

The least you would expect is gratitude for the many things you do on a daily basis.

Here are 10 tips if you get nothing in return from your girlfriend!

10 tips if you get nothing in return from your girlfriend

1) Don’t do everything for your girlfriend and get nothing in return

The first tip is to just not do it.

You see, when we accept people’s behavior, we are teaching them that we are okay with what they are doing (even if we’re not).

If you feel like you do everything for your girlfriend and get nothing back in return, it might be time to rethink your relationship.

Before you do anything, take a step back and assess what you’re doing on a daily basis.

The first step is to simply stop doing everything for her if you don’t get anything in return.

She will notice how much you did for her and how much she took for granted.

If she does not do anything for you, stop doing whatever it is you are doing for her.

This might sound irrational, but if she’s not going to appreciate what you do, then why are you doing it?

As a result of stopping your behavior, she will be forced to notice that she doesn’t appreciate what you do and that this relationship is not balanced.

2) Give her some appreciation (so she learns how to appreciate you in return)

One of the best ways to get appreciation from your girlfriend is to start giving her some appreciation.

I know, it sounds weird, but do you know the saying “monkey see, monkey do”?

This means that when we see someone doing something, we are more likely to do it ourselves.

I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase “as you sow, so shall you reap.”

This means that if we give our girlfriend some appreciation, she will be more likely to give us some appreciation in return.

Start by telling her what you appreciate about her.

This could be things like her intelligence, her sense of humor, or how much she loves spending time with you.

It’s important that you start recognizing all the little things that make her special.

It’s also important to tell her how grateful you are for all of the great moments you have shared together.

Tell her about the time you cuddled under the covers together, or the time you laughed so hard your sides hurt.

These moments make up a large part of our relationship and they should be cherished.

When she notices your sudden surge in appreciation, she is very likely to reciprocate.

3) Be honest about your feelings

One of the most important things you can do for your girlfriend is, to be honest about your feelings.

Don’t be afraid to tell her that you are starting to feel neglected or that you don’t feel like she is giving you the time and attention you deserve.

If she doesn’t like what she hears, then perhaps it’s time to take a step back.

Instead of trying to change the situation, it might be best for her if you just give her some space.

Don’t try to make her feel like she’s doing something wrong if she doesn’t appreciate what you do.

Just be honest and let her know how you feel.

That way, she will not get defensive and you will actually be in a place where you can talk rationally.

Honesty is also a huge sign of confidence, which will be super beneficial in your situation.

While the tips in this article will help you learn what to do when you don’t get nothing in return from your girlfriend, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.

With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice tailored to the specific issues you’re facing in your love life.

Relationship Hero is a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people navigate complex and difficult love situations, like not getting anything in return from your girlfriend. They’re popular because they genuinely help people solve problems. 

Why do I recommend them?

Well, after going through difficulties in my own love life, I reached out to them a few months ago. After feeling helpless for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship, including practical advice on how to overcome the issues I was facing.  

I was blown away by how genuine, understanding, and professional they were. 

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice specific to your situation.

Click here to get started.

4) Get out there and do things you enjoy

You should be your number one priority, so get out there and make sure to do things you enjoy.

And the best part?

This will actually help you feel closer to your girlfriend and increase the chance that she’ll feel grateful for all the little moments together.

Doing things for yourself shows that you respect yourself, which will, in turn, teach her to treat you with appreciation and respect.

If you’re not getting the appreciation you deserve, then it’s time to take action.

5) Let go of the past and start fresh with her

Another great tip is to stop beating yourself or your girlfriend up for the past.

Start fresh with your girlfriend and forget about all the things she didn’t do for you.

Focus on the things that made you happy.

Remember how much she loves spending time with you and how much she loves being with you.

Start fresh and let go of anything negative that has been bottled up in your mind.

I’m not saying you should ignore the situation and let her walk all over you, but simply try to let go of any resentment so that you can move on from this like a fresh start.

6) Give her some space

If you feel like you’re always putting your girlfriend’s needs first, it might be time to give her some space.

There are a lot of things that you need to focus on in your own life and you don’t have time for someone else’s problems.

You should also be careful not to put your girlfriend in an impossible position.

She may not be able to handle all the responsibilities that come with being in a relationship.

I know this one is a hard pill to swallow, especially when you love your girlfriend, but sometimes the healthiest thing to do in a relationship is to get some space from one another.

That doesn’t mean you have to break up or go on an official break, just maybe spend a few days apart to reset.

After a few days, you can figure out if things are still going well and if you really want to be with her.

Be honest with yourself and your girlfriend about how much you both want to be together.

If the answer is “yes”, then be brave and put all the past behind you and start fresh with her. If the answer is “no”, then break up or try again at a later time.

7) Pay attention to your own needs

I know, it sounds weird, but one of the most important things you can do for your relationship is to pay attention to your own needs.

If you’re not providing yourself with what you need, you will start to feel unfulfilled.

Be sure to take care of yourself first and foremost.

You don’t have to provide everything your girlfriend wants or needs in order to be a good partner.

You can simply provide her with something that makes her happy, and then focus on what you enjoy doing most.

How do you meet your own needs?

Well, there are many ways to do it.

For example, you might want to get a massage.

If you don’t have the money for it, then at least make sure to take care of yourself.

You might want to go out and watch a movie or play video games with your friends.

What you do is up to you, but just make sure that you’re taking care of yourself first before anything else.

You see, once you know how to meet your own needs, it will also be easier to communicate with your girlfriend about how she can better help you.

But how is this possible?

Well, the first step is to build a healthy relationship with yourself!

I learned this from the world-renowned shaman Rudá Iandê, in his incredible free video on Love and Intimacy.

You see, most of our shortcomings in love stem from our own complicated inner relationships with ourselves.

But guess what? You can’t solve the issues in your love life if you don’t pay attention to your own needs.

I mean, how can you fix the external without seeing the internal first? 

As Ruda explains, many of us are actually self-sabotaging our love lives without realizing it!

So, if you also want to get inspired by Rudá’s teachings and learn how you can build a healthy relationship with yourself, then this is a message you need to hear. 

Click here to watch the free video.

8) Have a conversation about how to improve your situation

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If you feel like you do everything for your girlfriend and she doesn’t appreciate it, the first step is to have a conversation about how you can improve your situation.

This could mean discussing what you like and don’t like in regards to your relationship, why you might be upset, and how you can work together to improve things.

Another thing you can do is discuss how she might be contributing to the problem and how she can contribute to the solution.

You could also discuss how she might be making it difficult for you to get along with her.

The conversation is important because it will allow both of you to understand why things are going wrong and what needs to change in order for things to improve.

It’s also a good idea for both of you to have this conversation when things aren’t going too well because it could save you from getting into a bad situation.

A word of advice:

Try not to sound too accusing or she might not be receptive to what you’re saying.

9) Be clear about your expectations

If you’re feeling like you don’t get anything in return from your girlfriend, it’s important to be clear about your expectations.

Be honest with her and make sure she understands what you want in a relationship.

This will help you both to be more productive and give you a better understanding of what you’re both expecting.

Communicate with her about your expectations and how she can contribute to the improvement of your situation.

Be honest with yourself about what you want in a relationship and discuss it with your girlfriend.

You see, people are different and so they have different needs and expectations.

Sometimes, people in a relationship don’t even realize their partner is hurting, which is why communicating your expectations is so important.

Think about it: If someone never mentions they like blue orchids and then they get mad because you get them red roses instead, you would say “how was I supposed to know?”!

It’s similar here. What might feel like common sense to you could be perceived completely differently by your girlfriend.

10) Take care of yourself first

One of the most important things you can do for your girlfriend is to take care of yourself first.

This means getting enough rest, dieting, and exercising.

It also means being emotionally healthy.

You don’t want to put your own happiness in jeopardy by not taking care of yourself.

When you show up as the best possible version of yourself to a relationship, you automatically inspire your partner to grow, as well.

Be honest

The big takeaway here is: be honest about what you are feeling.

Letting your emotions get pent-up will not do anyone any good.

So, even if you’re doing anything for your girlfriend and you get nothing in return, you should know that you’re not alone.

This is a real problem for a lot of people. It can be really hard to maintain a relationship when you’re doing all the work and not feeling appreciated.

Sometimes, people start to feel resentful, and that can slowly eat away at the relationship. If you’re in this position, the best thing you can do is to be honest and start communicating.

You need to let your partner know that you’re feeling overwhelmed and why. And that way, you’ll probably improve your feelings towards her.

Picture of Anna Scheucher

Anna Scheucher

Freelance writer specializing in holistic health, wellness, and psychology. Check out my blog to find out more https://www.fullyholistic.com/!

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