17 surprising ways to test a guy to see if he really loves you

Sometimes it can be hard to tell if a guy truly has feelings for you or not, but don’t worry, you’re not the only one who has been in that situation. There are a number of things that you can do to test a guy to see if he really loves you.

Here are 17 ways you can do it!

1) Pay attention to the way he behaves

By this, I mean behaviors like whether he skips out on his phone calls when he is with you.

Little actions like this mean that he values the time with you more than anything else and that he doesn’t want to risk losing your attention by chatting with anyone else.

It is a sign of respect and love – and if you notice it, you should feel assured that he has deeper feelings than he is ready to admit.

2) Observe his eyes

People’s eyes are the windows to their souls, or so they say. If you notice how caring and soft his gaze is, then he is definitely in love with you!

You can also notice it if he is constantly staring at you when you two are together, and he keeps looking at you no matter what you do. This means that he really adores everything about you!

If you notice a soft gaze like this, he doesn’t even have to say anything. You will know that he cares for you deeply.

3) He knows how to handle emotions

When a guy is truly in love with you, he knows how to control his emotions and thoughts. He doesn’t get angry at small things.

He understands the basic principles of being a good partner and isn’t afraid to put them into action.

But what if there are still some issues between you? What if it’s not all plain sailing?

After all, there’s a reason you’re wondering if he really loves you

4) He shows (healthy) jealousy

Watch his reactions when he is around you. If he is jealous when he sees other guys around you, then this means he cares about you.

And if he is usually not the jealous type, yet shows jealousy, then there is a huge chance that he is in love with you.

Of course, this doesn’t mean that you should tolerate toxic behavior, but a little healthy jealousy can indicate his feelings for you.

Now, you might be wondering how you can know for sure whether he’s actually jealous – or if his jealousy is healthy or toxic.

Toxic jealousy leans more on possessiveness rather than true love. 

Yet it is still a trait that society pushes and encourages, as warped as that may be.

And to enable us to have healthier, more long-lasting relationships, we often need to work to unlearn these misconceptions (the unlearning being harder than learning!)

World renowned shaman Rudá Iandê has a great free masterclass running on Love and Intimacy.

He offers so much valuable insight as to these toxic ideas many of us still internally carry when it comes to how we love and what we expect (toxic jealousy included.)

And he doesn’t just talk at you either. The practical, guided exercises really prompt you to think about whether or not you too might be mistaking toxicity for love.

So click here to try out the free class.

You’ll likely leave with a far better understanding as to what is required in a healthy partnership between two people, and what underlying obstacles might currently be holding you back.

5) He makes time for you

If your relationship is getting serious, then this might be the case because there is lots of chemistry involved.

However, if you are together for a long time and your boyfriend truly loves you, he will make time for every date excursion that you set up with him.

This means that he cares about your interests and wants you to know that he is willing to do everything to make you happy! If you notice that the guy you care about makes an effort to show up every time you need him, this is a major sign of love.

If he really loves you, and if he really cares about the relationship that you have with him, then he will make sure that there will be time allocated for you in his schedule.

Moving important obligations and meetings to make time for you is something that shows that he loves you a lot and wants to prioritize the time with you despite everything else.

6) He tries to show you how much he cares

pexels olya kobruseva 5055797 17 surprising ways to test a guy to see if he really loves you

If he swallows his pride and allows himself to be vulnerable with you, then this is a sign that there is something special between the two of you. This also includes trying to show that he cares by being honest, loving, and understanding.

This means that if he loves you, then he knows how important it is for everyone’s self-esteem to be appreciated and valued.

If you feel loved and secure when you are together, that is a great sign that he deeply cares about you.

If he’s doing things just to make you feel better or make your life easier, then you can relax knowing that you are with a guy who truly values you.

If he is really in love with you, then he will do anything just to see that smile on your face or to see you happy.

7) He surprises you often

If he likes to surprise you with little gifts you like, then this is a clear sign that he really loves you.

This also means that he knows how to be loving and caring, but also playful.

He shows his feelings in different ways, and this makes him unpredictable, unique, and fun to be around! This is one of the key ingredients of a successful relationship, and it is a hint that there is more there than just a superficial connection.

Usually, these gifts become the most memorable thing in the relationship. It is a clear sign that he is in love with you if he pays attention to the little things!

8) He is not afraid of making a compromise

If your boyfriend cares about you and your relationship, he will be ready to make a compromise if needed.

Every relationship has its share of problems, whether you’re at the beginning or further along in the relationship.

If the guy you are with makes an effort to overcome these differences and resolve the problems in the best way possible, it is a great sign. This means that he is selfless and willing to do anything that makes you happy.

This can be anything, like making sure that your days off coincide, or other little compromises that show he prioritizes your happiness! 

But it’s important to make sure that he doesn’t compromise his own needs in your relationship.

Sure, compromise is a sign of love, but both partners need to have their needs met and both should compromise sometimes.

To ensure you’re making healthy compromises in a relationship, and check that your relationship is truly based on love and not insecurity, you can check out the free Love and Intimacy masterclass I mentioned above (if you haven’t already!)

It’s an incredibly helpful tool which you can use to help you understand how healthy and balanced your dynamic is (or where it needs work). 

By truly understanding your own relationship, you can learn how to become a better partner to each other, and to yourselves. 

And the exercises and tools Rudá shares really helped transform my own struggles when it came to love and relationships, helping me navigate these difficulties and create a far healthier connection than I ever dreamt possible. 

Here’s the link again so you can take your relationship healing into your own hands. 

9) He keeps you close to him when you are together

If he doesn’t want to lose you, and he really wants to stay with you as much as possible, then this means that his love for you is huge. This also means that he is selfless and stable, which can only mean one thing: his feelings for you are very real.

Body language is very powerful, and if he holds you close to him and he sets you in his arms when you’re together, then he wants to make sure that nothing will ever come between the two of you. It is also a way to show the world just how much he cares.

It is a way of making a statement of belonging and a way to show to the world that you mean a lot to him. As silly as this might sound, it is actually very effective.

When a couple is together, and they sit close or hold hands, you can see that their love is real just by looking at them.

10) He cares about your interests

If he is interested in what makes you happy and how you feel, it is obvious that the two of you are in a serious relationship. This means that he really cares about your life and doesn’t want to miss out on anything important with your relationship.

It is a sure sign that you will grow together and that he wants to be with you in every way possible. If there is mutual understanding in your relationship that is a great sign that he wants to commit.

The thing that lots of couples fight about is spending time with each other’s families. If he is willing to spend time with your friends and family, this means that he loves you.

He also wants you to be happy because he knows that relationships are built on trust and love. If he is not afraid of meeting your friends and family, then this means that he is confident enough and respects you enough to be around people who care about you.

11) He remembers important dates

If he remembers important dates and events, then this is a good sign that he wants to show you how much his relationship with you means to him. He might even make a date to just be with you on these days.

This means that he feels a deep meaning in the relationship and that he wants to show your importance to him. 

Knowing that he truly cares about your treasured moments together enough to celebrate important dates is a major sign of love.

It can easily be forgotten in the day-to-day, so treasure this sign of love from him. 

12) He’s not afraid of telling you if something bothers him

If he cares about what you think, then when something really bothers him, he will look for the best possible solution for it. It also means that he trusts you, so he wants to hear more about your point of view.

Sharing problems and sincerely listening to each other leads to deeper understanding, and from there, everything that you do together will be more fun. That kind of communication is a powerful sign of love.

13) If he is in love with you, he doesn’t want to leave you

pexels pavel danilyuk 6612771 17 surprising ways to test a guy to see if he really loves you

This might sound obvious, but guys are not always honest about their feelings when it comes to commitment and emotions. If he truly loves you, then he will not just want to stay with you because of boredom or for a temporary relationship.

Instead, he may have recently realized that you are everything he needs and wants to spend as much time as possible together, so he can enjoy feeling good with you.

14) He’s happy to be with you

If you see a smile on his face when he sees you or while being together, this means that he really loves you!

This also shows how much happiness there is in your relationship, and he is satisfied because he has met someone to share all of his feelings with.

This means that he not only likes you but also that he is starting to feel real love. Genuine happiness when he sees you is proof enough that he truly loves you.

If you’re having a hard time remembering recent interactions or overall feel on unsure footing as to how he might be feeling, try out this free Self-Love Quiz created by Rudá Iandê, the shaman I mentioned above.

Even if you don’t feel like your connection is suffering and it’s actually going in the right direction, the questions can truly help you reflect on what you might be feeling, what he might be feeling, and what’s in the cards for you two!

So click here to try out the quiz if you haven’t already.

And once you’re done, reflect back on how you view yourself and your current interactions with the man in question.

If he always makes an effort for you to feel good, encourages you to do what you love, and helps you succeed in life, this is a sign of true love.

15) You have a special language you share

Do you have special nicknames for the person you are in a serious relationship with?

This is great! It shows how close and intimate the two of you are.

People who deeply care for each other will always have sweet words for each other and show love instead of simply saying those three magic words. Besides, you will find out a lot about his intentions from the way he talks about you when you are not around.

The more he talks about you, the easier it is to tell if he loves you. When he wants to know everything there is to know about you, this shows that he likes and cares for you.

If your relationship is new and only getting better by the day, the chances are that his intentions will soon become clearer when he starts to talk about you more often than usual.

16) He is not afraid to try new things together

If he wants to stay with you for as long as possible, the chances are that he will welcome experiences that can help both of you grow as people.

A person who loves you will not be afraid to wait for the time you will spend together, and will also try new activities or go to new places.

That doesn’t mean that he won’t be afraid or that there won’t be resistance toward new things, but guys show a willingness to change when they have deep feelings for the person they love.

He might want to try new things or take more time to have fun together, but be patient enough not to rush the relationship or put pressure on you.

17) He kisses you frequently

If he kisses you a lot, this is a sign of affection. However, it might also mean that he needs reassurance or that he doesn’t want to lose you!

A kiss is one of the most intimate moments that a couple can share. It makes you feel loved, accepted, and most importantly, it expresses how he feels about your relationship and the intimacy between you.

When you are together, if you feel like you are the only person in the world, then you can be sure that you have found a person who loves you. When a person is deeply in love with their partner, all other problems and concerns feel easier to deal with.

Everything else just fades away – if you feel like this when you are together, that is real love. When this happens, you may feel like you are the only two people in the world.

The feeling is incredible, and it is no wonder that it is the reason why so many couples are willing to sacrifice so much to be together.

Final thoughts

It can be pretty annoying when someone we deeply care about won’t share what they feel in plain words. We have all dreamt about hearing the words “I love you” while the idyllic sunset glows in the background.

However, every person is complex. So, if you have been waiting to hear those three words from your significant other, you should know that there are plenty of other signs that also show you how he feels.

All you need to do is pay attention to his actions and know the meaning behind them. 

If he loves you, then he will want to be with you all the time and do everything possible to make sure there is nothing separating the two of you. Hopefully, noticing these signs will help you be at ease and enjoy your relationship to the fullest!

Picture of Azra Jovicic

Azra Jovicic

I am Azra Jovicic and I love writing about psychology and wellness. I am just trying to make the sense of the world and share with others the things I’ve found out.

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