How to tell someone you like them: 25 big tips

If you have a crush on someone, chances are you will want to tell them. You’ll probably need some help.

It can be so daunting – how do you go about it without looking desperate, ruining a friendship, or maybe even upsetting them?

The good news is that there are so many ways to say it that if one goes wrong, then surely another one will deliver.

You may not always succeed the first time around, but as long as you keep trying, then success is inevitable.

Here are 25 tips and ideas to help you!

1) Be confident

It doesn’t matter how shy you are; if you really like a person, then saying something will come naturally.

You don’t have to say it in public or what you thought was the ideal moment; just say whatever comes into your mind!

You will feel better for having said it for sure.

If you are already close to each other, you won’t have a problem finding the right time or words.

On the other hand, if you’re not confident about saying it, then speak to someone you trust, make a plan, and get really prepared before you go through with the conversation.

If you’re worried about saying it at the wrong moment or you think it will ruin your friendship with them, then don’t be!

As long as there is no serious reason why you shouldn’t be together, then don’t hold back.

2) Make eye contact

When we are in love, we tend to act all confused and shy because we are so taken with our special someone.

But it’s important to tell them, no matter how nervous you feel, that you have feelings for them – it only adds to the mystery!

Make eye contact and smile.

It will definitely increase your confidence, plus you would also have a reason to smile if you see that this person likes you too.

It will also be a great way to start a conversation but keep it short and simple.

Don’t go into a long monologue about how blue the sky is.

Just say that you fancy them.

At least if you tell them straight out, then there will be no room for misinterpretation.

They will probably be pleasantly surprised because most people don’t speak about their feelings and prefer to be in denial.

3) Be calm and act casual

Don’t rush with the conversation.

Calm yourself down first, and then try to find the right words.

Try to take a few deep breaths, so you can think clearly.

Don’t go in with a speech planned out word-by-word.

That will come across as fake and rehearsed, and it’s not that easy to memorize anyway.

If this person is really the love of your life, you will be able to find the right words within yourself!

If you are too nervous about opening your mouth, then start off with a laugh and a joke or even tell them something else before you transition into the real topic.

Nobody likes being very serious when it comes to these occasions so try to avoid that as much as possible.

Look them in the eye and take a risk on a few sentences.

Keeping eye contact shows confidence and interest, and it may also build up some trust so you can tell them later on if you don’t get the response you are looking for.

4) Be relaxed

During one of my first attempts, I was such a nervous wreck that I stuttered and couldn’t get the words out!

The result? I just sounded pathetic.

Try not to make the mistake I did.

Relax and sound natural.

Try not to avoid looking them in the eye because they will feel uneasy and uncomfortable.

This can work both ways and make them more nervous, or it could backfire on you.

The worst thing is if they think you are weird, it shows they are not comfortable around them – so don’t do that!

Instead, keep your composure and stay very relaxed and confident.

Don’t stutter, but if you can’t think of anything to say, then don’t worry!

You’ll hit on something eventually, and in the meantime, it won’t matter too much.

Just try to keep calm and maybe talk about a few things, such as your interests and hobbies or something similar.

It’s better that way than mentioning how you feel too soon or hanging around awkwardly for a long time – the longer you wait, the more nervous you may feel.

5) Find a time and place when there is no pressure

When things feel right, find a moment when there is no pressure and isn’t during a busy time.

For example, if it is during break time at school or on the bus or train, look around you and spot a moment when you can do it without getting interrupted.

You can always say something in private, and if it is still not right, then speak up.

Pick a public place to talk to the person you like.

It is best to do it in a place where there are lots of people around but not so many that they can hear your conversation clearly.

Use the things happening around you to start talking and then slowly start navigating the conversation towards the topic you really want to express.

They will get the gist of it, and it may also lead to some interesting conversations.

6) A compliment is always a way to go

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Compliment them on something you like about them.

Then put your hand on their shoulder, arm, or knee and say, “I really like talking to you….” then tell them what you like about them: their hair or eyes, body shape, clothes, personality, etc.

You could also go for their voice, but the type of compliment that is best is one that shows interest in them as a person and not just because you want to date or sleep with them.

Every person likes to hear nice things about their appearance or skill, so make sure you share this with them and tell them what you like.

They may not be able to help but smile or blush at hearing something that makes them feel good.

Use this technique in both initial conversation when you first speak to that person and also to compliment the person later on.

7) Say something that you don’t normally say

Say something different from what you would normally say.

It is a perfect time to use a few words that you wouldn’t use on a regular basis.

For example, if they have nice eyes then say “I like your eyes, they are so beautiful…” don’t just say something like ‘I like your hair, it isn’t as direct and doesn’t make them feel special: be direct about it.

Try to make the most of this chance to tell them what you feel, so don’t waste it!

If you were friends for a long time, talking about something you wouldn’t usually talk about may help them see you in a different light.

If you see them or talk to them when they are with other people, don’t be afraid to join the group and make a joke about something.

It will break the ice and make everyone laugh.

You will look good in front of everyone and then you can ask if they want to do something later on like going for ice cream.

Use ice breakers to start up a conversation.

This is a good way to get the conversation going, so you don’t have to think of what to say straight away too.

Be creative in your approach, and do not try to be too subtle about it.

They will know when you are trying to get their attention, so don’t worry about it too much.

8) Work on your flirting skills

If you want to flirt, then it is a way of saying you like them without directly saying it.

Use a sign that often shows signs of love, such as eye contact, a smile, or playing with your hair.

Don’t be too over-the-top though, or they might think you are weird!

If you get a chance, move closer to them or touch them slightly.

9) Keep it short and simple

Just go over the basics: how you feel, how to get their attention, and then take it from there.

If you don’t get a response right away, then just leave it until later on – don’t call them again if they say no!

If you want more information, then maybe talk about something else instead of asking them out again – they may not have time!

10) Stay calm

No matter what their reaction is, stay calm.

If they don’t say anything and are in shock, then don’t start panicking.

Just give them a few seconds to pull themselves together before saying something else.

You may not get the response you want, but you will feel better for having said it.

Don’t take things too seriously.

If they are still in shock, and your face looks surprised, then don’t take it to heart.

Unfortunately, things don’t always work out the way we want them to.

There is always a way to try again later or simply give it time to work out.

You will not get far if you get upset.

It is just a date, don’t get worked up about it because everyone messes up sometimes, and there are no guarantees that people are going to say “yes”.

Just don’t look down if it doesn’t work out, instead try again, and maybe someday it will all make sense.

Each obstacle we have on our way during our lifetime helps us become better people.

Everything that happens prepares us for something coming our way.

It is not easy to be turned down by someone we like, but it shouldn’t be something that will make you feel bad.

If you are rejected, there is no reason to get upset.

You can just try again sometime in the future, and if you get rejected again – don’t worry!

Give practice and patience to your dating skills because one day, you will come across someone special who will give love and support back to you.

11) Ask them out

This is the easiest way to go about it, just tell them you like them and ask them out for a coffee/dinner/a movie, etc.

You don’t have to make it seem like that is all you want from them – maybe even tell them if you would like to go further in terms of getting together.

The best way to ask is to use facial expression and eye contact, say something like “I really like talking to you…” or “I think we should go out sometime.”

Don’t be afraid to ask someone you like out again if the first time you asked, you got a negative answer.

It doesn’t hurt if your first attempt didn’t work.

If you want to ask them out but are too shy to do it, then try using a joke or a funny way of getting their attention.

Sometimes this can help you make them interested in getting to know more about you.

Most people will not feel awkward around someone who is sincere and honest with them.

12) Focus on each other’s strength

This is something that is not easy to do, and most people never get the chance to work on their weaknesses, but it is important to learn how to make people close to you feel good about themselves.

This can also be a way to tell them indirectly that you like them and want them to feel good.

Also, you can show interest in the things that interest them.

It is one of the best ways to learn more about the person you like, and it is also a good way to get some time together.

Spending time together will help build up your trust in each other. It builds up your relationship and shows you are interested in their career, hobbies, future, etc.

13) Be honest

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If you feel like asking them out again, then be honest.

If you feel like giving up, be honest about that too.

Don’t wonder if they like you or if they are interested in you because it will only make them feel uncomfortable – just be honest and ask them out.

Be upfront with your feelings, tell them how you feel before the relationship starts, and keep the lines of communication open so that no problems can arise in the future.

Things can continue normally with honesty, trust, and respect.

14) Listen and understand their feelings

Give the person you like a chance to tell you more about their feelings and the way they would like to continue the relationship.

Taking into consideration how honest communication helps, it is best to ask them things in a personal way (not a one size fits all) but ask them in the right way.

For example: “Would you like to go out on a date with me?” or “Do you want to continue seeing each other?”

15) Learn from your mistake

Don’t get discouraged if you don’t get the result that you want, especially if it is the first time or early on – everyone makes mistakes of some kind.

Don’t get too upset about it, so you never try again.

Believe it or not, sometimes even rejection can be a great thing because it will teach you to move on, and it will help you grow as a person.

Don’t be afraid to try again if they say no.

Keep in mind that not everyone is interested in dating at the same time or at all, so don’t think you have done anything wrong.

Just remember it is important not to keep asking them out when there is no positive reaction, so make sure that you have another topic to discuss if you see them again.

The best thing to remember is that there are many other ways to get together with someone.

Maybe you can see what else you can find out about them, so you can talk more.

It will be something new, so don’t beat yourself up about it too much but do keep trying different things – even if you do a horrible job at first!

It will only get easier with time.

16) Be yourself

You’ve probably heard this a thousand times, and I don’t mean to annoy you.

However, this advice is very true.

Be yourself. That’s your best bet!

Realize that this is one of the most difficult things to do, and you should never get discouraged if they don’t like it.

Although the person may not like the real you (which is okay), they will be able to meet the real you in time.

The real you is better than any persona, so stop trying to be someone else.

This means you will stay true to your habits and opinions without changing them just to be closer to the person you like and make it seem like you are perfect for each other.

Even if you start a relationship, it will be based on a lie that will be discovered very fast, and it will also damage the relationship.

Don’t try to act like someone else, and don’t try to pretend that you are something that you’re not.

This can be a downfall for many people because they think that the other person is going to love them if they put on a new persona or act differently.

This is the wrong way to do it because if you are too different from who you really are, then they won’t like the real you, which can only make you feel bad.

17) Show your emotions

Don’t bottle your emotions inside – it is best to just say how you feel and let them know if you are happy, sad, or mad.

If you ask someone out and they reject you, then be honest about how you feel, don’t get angry at them!

If you want to yell, then do it later in your room with a pillow but don’t take it out on them.

They didn’t do anything wrong.

Maybe this person doesn’t share your enthusiasm about the potential relationship, which is fine.

Don’t hurt their feelings – that is the main goal, not to get angry with someone.

Remember that it is important to respect their feelings because this will help them feel like you care about them and allow your relationship to grow.

This can also be a way to show them how much you care about them, which will make your relationship stronger and better the more time you spend together!

18) Show your appreciation

If the person you like does something nice for you, then show them how much you appreciate it.

If you do something for them, then don’t expect anything in return – sometimes you just want to do it for someone else without getting something in return.

Doing something nice and helping the person you like can be an excellent way to start something wonderful!

We all want to feel safe and get help when we need it, so use this little trick to deepen your relationship and show how much you care about the person you like.

Sometimes it’s simple things that matter the most, and other times it may be more difficult.

19) Don’t put yourself down

Don’t put yourself down around them or be afraid to show your true emotions or feelings because if you do this, then they might think that you are not confident enough and will not like the real you.

Want to know the best thing?

The more you appreciate yourself, the person you like will appreciate you more and will always want to be around you.

This is a win-win situation for both of you because you will feel better about yourself, and they will feel better about being with someone that shows their true emotions and feelings.

We dictate the way others see us, but we usually forget it when we are close to someone we like.

Show them how much they mean to you, and don’t be afraid to tell them how you feel.

Don’t try and change yourself to fit someone else because this will never work – it is just impossible!

If you change yourself for someone, then they will only find faults with you and your personality.

When you are honest about who you are, then there will be no lies for them to find later on.

If you don’t feel like something is right for you and want to do something else, then do it!

Don’t let someone push you into doing something that you don’t want to do just because they said so.

20) Show your qualities

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When you like someone, you have to show them your qualities and be positive about them.

If you have a lot of good qualities, then tell them about it (preferably in a subtle way).

Showing your good points is one of the best ways to make yourself feel good about yourself and can even help the person like you more because they know what they are getting into!

Trust me. You will be glad you did.

We must promote our qualities, especially at the beginning of a potential relationship, because being too modest won’t get you far.

Be confident and show off your best qualities because that is the best way to show someone you are interested in.

21) Make this person feel good

If you like someone, you should tell them about the good things about them.

This will help them feel better about themselves so that when they are with you, they know that you really like them for who they are and not just for their looks.

If someone compliments me, then I usually start to think, “Do I really look good today?” and then I feel happy that someone made this effort.

This is why it’s very effective.

Show your intentions in a clear way.

Let them know how much you care for them by telling them that you don’t want to lose each other or the one thing that is important to you is being with them.

22) Talk about the future

Talking about the future is a very good way of showing the person that you are interested in them and also showing that you are serious in your relationship.

If they like you, then they will want to know what they can expect from you.

Talking about the future can be the easiest way to see how this person feels about you and the potential relationship.

This can save a lot of time and heartache for you.

If the person is not interested in being with you, then you will know faster.

If this is the case, then you can just leave them and start looking for someone else that does want to be with you.

In order to do this, you will need to know where you stand with your goals in life. Another bonus?

You can find out if the person really knows what they want and how your relationship will be!

23) Be their friend

Sometimes starting a relationship off as friends is the best way to go because then the relationship will be easier and more relaxed.

You know each other already, so you already have something in common, which is a big part of having a friendship.

If you can have this, then it will be easier for you to build something great – if you are not sure about it, then maybe it would be better to start out as just friends.

Stay humble though.

We all like to brag about things that we have done and how we act, but if you do this, then they will think that you are a bit of a showoff.

It doesn’t matter that you are proud of your actions, as long as they know, it is all true and not just some false compliments.

24) Let them know what you want from the relationship

Sometimes this is difficult because we may not want to tell them how we want it to go, but if they are someone you like, and the feeling is mutual, then they will always listen.

If you don’t like talking about things, it can be hard, but talking about things that affect you can be a great way of getting to know each other so that when you do tell them what you want, then it’s easier for the other person to understand.

25) Don’t be afraid to show them your flaws

If you portray yourself as perfect, then they will think that there is no room for improvement with you, and this might not be the way they want to view the relationship.

We should try to overcome insecurities because it is always better to have someone love you for who you are as well as for who you could be then believing in a false image of you.

Final thoughts

It is not easy to tell someone you like them and can be pretty challenging, especially if you are struggling with nervousness when you are close.

When you tell someone you like them for the first time, it is important to think about what kind of response you are going to get or questions they might ask.

The better you feel about yourself and about your bond, the easier it will be to develop your relationship further.

Overall, all the tips above will hopefully help you in your relationship with that special someone.

Remember it is important to have fun with the person you like and don’t always be in a rush for the end result.

I hope these tips will help you to show your qualities to the person you like, so you can start the relationship you were dreaming of!

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Picture of Tina Fey

Tina Fey

I've ridden the rails, gone off track and lost my train of thought. I'm writing for Ideapod to try and find it again. Hope you enjoy the journey with me.

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