On the one hand, being a little stubborn from time to time can be a good thing.
It can help you go on when things get tough and not give up.
It can show people how strong you are and that you’re willing to stand up for what you believe in.
On the other hand, if your stubbornness gets out of hand, it can ruin relationships and opportunities.
Here are 11 no bullsh*t tips to help you stop being so stubborn.
Let’s dive right in:
1) Try to see things from the other person’s perspective
Do you often get into arguments with family, friends, and even colleagues because you’re stubborn?
Now, if you’re so stubborn that it prevents you from having a normal dialogue with someone, then you definitely want to dial it back.
Here’s the deal:
When your stubbornness comes in the way of your personal or professional relationships, then it’s a downside.
What can you do?
Learn to listen and try to see things from the other person’s perspective.
- Start by making eye contact. This will show the other person that they have your full attention.
- Listen without interrupting. Let your interlocutor finish talking before you say anything.
- Don’t automatically disagree with them.
- Really think about what they are saying and try to see if it makes sense.
- Try to see things from the other person’s perspective. It might not be what you originally had in mind, but maybe there’s a way that your two points of view can complement each other.
- Try and find a compromise.
And the bottom line?
When stubbornness is a handicap for you, try to stop being so stubborn and look at things from the other person’s perspective.
2) When stubbornness blocks progress, consider changing course
This is a tough one. If you’re 100% committed to something, it’s sometimes hard to see that it’s time to change your course.
You don’t want to admit that the current plan isn’t working and that you need a different one.
But you have to.
Sometimes making a change is better than staying stuck doing the same thing.
Now, you need to recognize when stubbornness has grown into something detrimental and stop doing what’s not working for you now, even if your initial idea was great and had lots of potential in the beginning.
The tricky part is how do you know if you’ve reached this level?
How do you know when it’s time to make changes?
Fortunately, there are some basic guidelines:
- If you’re making little progress on a project but aren’t getting any closer to completing
- If nothing productive is happening after days or weeks of trying
- If things are getting physically harder instead of easier (if they used to be easy)
- And finally, if creativity is draining for you rather than filling you up with new ideas
When this happens you need to stop being stubborn and start looking for ways out of your predicament.
3) Change your life around
Maybe you’re so obsessed with being right all the time because you’re compensating for something.
Could it be that you don’t feel that you’re living life to the fullest?
What does it take to build a life filled with exciting opportunities and passion-fueled adventures?
Most of us hope for a life like that, but we feel stuck, unable to achieve the goals we wishfully set at the start of each year.
I felt the same way until I took part in Life Journal. Created by teacher and life coach Jeanette Brown, this was the ultimate wake-up call I needed to stop dreaming and start taking action.
So what makes Jeanette’s guidance more effective than other self-development programs?
Jeanette’s created a unique way of putting YOU in control of your life.
She’s not interested in telling you how to live your life. Instead, she’ll give you lifelong tools that’ll help you achieve all your goals, keeping the focus on what you’re passionate about.
And that’s what makes Life Journal so powerful.
If you’re ready to start living the life you’ve always dreamt of, you need to check out Jeanette’s advice. Who knows, today could be the first day of your new life.
4) Understand that you are not always right
Do you find that when you listen to someone talk you tend to think that everything they say is wrong? That only you know “the right way”?
Nobody can be right all the time, not even you.
Keep in mind that:
- Maybe the other person has a valid point.
- Maybe they’re not talking about the same thing that you are.
- Maybe they haven’t understood what your actual thoughts and feelings are.
How do you keep from getting into arguments?
By reminding yourself that sometimes, you can be wrong.
Once you understand that, then you’re on the right path.
And the good news?
Understanding that you’re not always right will keep you from getting into arguments and improve your relationships with other people.
5) Keep an open mind
Keep in mind that you mustn’t assume your own views are the only ones that matter.
Here’s the thing:
You will find that when you keep an open mind, people will surprise you with new information and new viewpoints.
So, be open to other people’s viewpoints and always try to understand why they feel the way they do.
Think about it.
By being open-minded and accepting of other people’s views, you will be more likely to form your own unique opinions and perspectives.
Never assume that your own views are always correct.
6) Remember to be humble
The truth is that you can never know everything and that if you think you do, then there’s a good chance you’ve got a misconception.
Here’s what you should do:
If someone challenges your point of view, instead of getting offended or angry, try to “bend down” and listen to the other person.
Instead of automatically accepting their view as right, consider what their reasons may be and why they may have such a strong opinion. If you keep this up, it’ll help to make everyone feel respected as individuals.
To make a point, be humble enough not to assume that your own views are always correct and keep an open mind at all times.
7) Identify when stubbornness stamps from anxiety and stress
Here’s an interesting fact:
Stubbornness can be anxiety-based.
For example, your stubbornness may be driven by an obsession with achieving perfection.
Or perhaps you think that compromise will make you average, like everyone else.
In my experience, you feel like the only way you can be in control of your life is by refusing to bend.
If you accept to do things someone else’s way – all hell will break loose!
Ring a bell?
Living like that can get pretty stressful.
But I get it, letting those feelings out can be hard, especially if you’ve spent so long trying to stay in control of them.
If that’s the case, I highly recommend watching this free breathwork video, created by the shaman, Rudá Iandê.
Rudá isn’t another self-professed life coach. Through shamanism and his own life journey, he’s created a modern-day twist to ancient healing techniques.
The exercises in his invigorating video combine years of breathwork experience and ancient shamanic beliefs, designed to help you relax and check in with your body and soul.
After many years of suppressing my emotions, Rudá’s dynamic breathwork flow quite literally revived that connection.
And that’s what you need:
A spark to reconnect you with your feelings so that you can begin focusing on the most important relationship of all – the one you have with yourself.
So if you’re ready to take back control over your mind, body, and soul, if you’re ready to say goodbye to anxiety and stress, check out his genuine advice below.
8) Reserve your judgment
If you want to learn to be less stubborn you need to reserve your judgment at all times.
What does this mean for you?
Basically, don’t judge people, groups, or things before you’ve fully examined the situation.
You see, when you make judgments based on some preconceived notions, you will be less open to new information and viewpoints.
By being slow to judge others, you leave time for them to explain why their supposed views aren’t really such a bad thing after all.
Give others a chance to explain their reasons for holding such an opinion. Don’t judge before you have all the facts.
9) Work on your listening skills
Stubbornness often interferes with our ability to listen to what other people are actually saying.
You need to work to really hear what other people have to say and be less inclined to judge them or their views.
Good communication skills will help you in all your relationships, whether it be with your spouse, friends, colleagues, or parents.
So, take the time to listen and think before you speak.
This should help you not to make uninformed opinions.
By listening, you will be more open-minded, and by gaining insight into the other person’s feelings for you, you’ll be able to better form your own opinions later.
All in all, when you get to know other people better, having a better understanding of their viewpoints, you will be more likely to follow the golden rule.
10) Build trust in others
It turns out that your stubbornness might be attributed to an overall mistrust of others.
To overcome this, you need to build trust in the people around you.
It can be difficult to start trusting people overnight so you can take it one step at a time.
Perhaps you don’t think that your spouse is capable of doing something as simple as getting the grocery shopping done.
You think they’ll buy the wrong brands, forget to buy things that are on the list, that they’ll buy things that aren’t on the list, and overall mismanage the grocery budget.
This is why you are stubborn about always being the one to do the grocery shopping.
What you need to do:
- Give your partner a chance to prove to you that they can get the shopping right. Entrust them with the task one week and see how it goes.
- Remember that if something isn’t perfect, it doesn’t mean you can’t trust them. Give them another task.
By learning how to trust others, you’ll be able to stop micromanaging them and be less stubborn.
11) There is a distinction between facts and opinions
Your opinion is not the only one that matters, nor is all your knowledge necessarily correct.
Now, it is important to be able to distinguish between facts and opinions.
On the one hand:
Facts are things that can’t be disputed. They either exist or don’t, there’s no room for interpretation.
On the other hand:
Opinions, on the other hand, are your own personal perspectives about something or someone.
They’re subject to interpretation but can often still be said to be based on fact (although they can also be wrong).
It’s important that you understand that opinions can often just be a way of explaining one’s actual reasoning behind a situation (e.g., “I believe in God because I tend to find meaning in things”).
That’s why it’s important to remember that your opinion is not the only one that matters.
A few things to keep in mind:
- Allow other people to express their opinions.
- You’re entitled to your opinion, but don’t expect everyone to always agree with you.
- Nobody likes a know-it-all.
When facts are in question, always check the facts before making any claims.
So what can you do to stop being so darn stubborn?
Begin with yourself. Stop searching for external fixes to sort out your life, deep down, you know this isn’t working.
And that’s because until you look within and unleash your personal power, you’ll never find the satisfaction and fulfillment you’re searching for.
I learned this from the shaman Rudá Iandê. His life mission is to help people restore balance to their lives and unlock their creativity and potential. He has an incredible approach that combines ancient shamanic techniques with a modern-day twist.
In his excellent free video, Rudá explains effective methods to stop being so stubborn and find other ways to get what you want.
So if you want to build a better relationship with yourself, unlock your endless potential, and put passion at the heart of everything you do, start now by checking out his genuine advice.
How to make a stubborn person listen – tips and techniques for persistence
If you’re like most people, you’re probably frustrated with stubborn people.
You know the type: They won’t listen to reason, they won’t change their ways, and they just won’t let you change them.
If you find yourself in this situation, here are some tips for how to make that person listen.
Make it clear
Now, when people are being resistant, it’s easy for you to get frustrated and think that they don’t care.
But talking to them calmly is a good way to show them that you do care and that you want them to listen.
Go step by step
Most of the time, people have a reason why they don’t want to do something.
You see, it may be because it’s become a habit or perhaps there are consequences involved with listening to other people. Maybe they fear admitting that they’re wrong and are scared of embarrassment.
So go very slowly and tell them each step of the way why you are in the right and they should listen to you.
Be consistent and patient
If you don’t get what you want right away, be patient with that person and explain in a clear way your logic and reasoning behind it.
Their resistance might fade if they realize that you are being reasonable with them, that you’re not trying to hurt them but just trying to help them on their path to success.
Resist the urge to engage in an argument
Arguments are hardly ever the solution, as a matter of fact, they more often than not make things worse.
The truth is that you’re not going to change a stubborn person and make them listen to you by getting into an argument with them.
Arguments are usually ineffective in the long run and will only make the stubborn person more defensive and focused on winning their argument rather than listening to your advice.
Don’t make a big deal out of it
If you do, they will focus on the negative aspects of the situation and feel as though you are making a big deal out of nothing.
They will then begin to shut down and not be able to hear anything you have to say.
Look at it as an opportunity
See it as an opportunity to teach them something new or show them the right direction by giving them a piece of constructive feedback about their behavior or attitude.
Strategically plan your conversations
This is the most important part because it could make or break your relationship with the person who you want to listen to you.
You want to make sure that you get the positive outcome that you’re looking for and not get into a fight.
It’s super important that you chose your words carefully. Think of yourself as a diplomat. Try to use positive affirmations.