10 ways to stop being an insecure girlfriend

Are you insecure? Or sometimes you are judged as insecure by others

If so, you’re not alone. 

Many women struggle with being insecure as a result of past relationships or their partner spending more time with friends than you, or just because they have high expectations of themselves and lack confidence in their looks and abilities. 

If things are going well in the relationship then there is nothing to worry about. 

However, if your insecurities are starting to negatively impact your relationship then it’s time to take action. 

This article will introduce you to tips on how to stop being an insecure girlfriend and keep things positive between you and your partner.

By the time you’re done with this article, you will have a full understanding of the issue, as well as the motivation to put it behind you and move forward with your partner.

1) Identify exactly what it is that’s causing you to feel this way.

The first step in overcoming insecurity is being able to identify exactly what it is that’s causing you to feel this way. 

Insecurities can be caused by a variety of different factors, and each one resonates differently with the individual. 

We will look at some common sources that can cause insecurity in a relationship and what you can do to overcome them. 

To begin with, sometimes people are insecure about themselves because their self-image is low. 

When someone’s overall self-esteem is low then it’s more likely that they will feel less confident about all of the other aspects of their life, including love relationships.

If your self-image is low then a simple way to start overcoming this is to just start believing in yourself a little more. 

If you don’t already do this then find someone who will tell you what you need to hear. In addition, you have too much pressure. 

Pressure comes in many different forms, sometimes it’s external, and sometimes it’s internal. 

If you’re feeling insecure then it’s likely you’re putting a lot of pressure on yourself due to your expectations.

Common pressure that many women feel is the expectation to be the perfect housewife and mother. 

While it’s true that good relationships require effort and dedication, we all have a tendency to pour too much pressure on ourselves. 

The key is to learn how to manage your expectations, especially if they aren’t realistic.

2) Create a plan of action to help improve your relationship.

After identifying what is causing, you should definitely do something about it.

If you’re feeling insecure because of something that’s happening in your relationship, simply ignoring it will only make things worse. 

After taking the time to figure out what the problem is, you should come up with a plan of action to fix it. 

If you’re insecure about your partner spending too much time with his friends then you can suggest spending more time just the two of you, or find new activities to do as a couple.

You can also try doing volunteer work, as it gives people an opportunity to see that they are able to accomplish great things.

Whether it’s something as simple as spending more time together or resolving an argument, don’t just sit back and hope things will get better.

The best thing you can do is work towards change by making a plan to improve the relationship.

3) Be honest with your partner. 

Moving on with this, it is important that you be honest and upfront with your partner, and make sure they know what you are thinking and feeling. 

Don’t cave into your insecurities and don’t pretend that everything is OK when you know very well it isn’t. 

Address the issue head-on, which will help you get past your insecurity more quickly. Rather than making things worse by bottling up your feelings, share them with your partner. 

Tell him what you’re going through, and ask him how you can help. 

An honest approach to dealing with these issues will help your relationship grow stronger than before. 

If you find that he doesn’t take the time to understand your perspective, then don’t bother bringing this up again. 

Instead, try discussing it with another person. 

Don’t keep things from your partner for fear of losing a friendship in the process. 

You may not be able to avoid this if you want a long-term relationship with your partner.

Besides, if you’re concerned about what your partner thinks of you then make it clear to him.

Lastly, if the insecurity is due to the fact that your partner isn’t spending enough time with you, then find a way around this. 

Perhaps he has a busy schedule or maybe too tired at the end of the day. 

These things are not just important in long-term relationships and may be an issue in the future as well.

4) Make a list of things you are confident about yourself.

One of the tips to help you stop being an insecure girlfriend is to make a list of things you are confident about yourself and update this list regularly.

If you’re worried about something or feel insecure it can be hard to bring this up with your partner and finally let your fears grow into something bigger.

Don’t do this! 

This can lead to unnecessary conflict between the two of you. 

Instead, focus on things that make you feel confident about yourself, and keep these things in mind when dealing with your partner. 

It will be very helpful to make a list of things that you are confident about yourself.

You should write down everything that you feel good about and then keep adding to this list over time. 

This way you will always have something that you can focus on when feeling insecure.

One way of keeping track of your progress is to use pie charts – make a small section for “things I am good at” and then another section for “things I am not good at”. 

In addition to creating a list of things that you feel good about, it’s also a good idea to keep track of how much time you spend doing what you love.

Once you recognize what makes you feel good and confident, start talking to your partner with this positive energy.

This is a surefire way to keep things positive between the two of you.

5) Focus on some basic relationship skills.

Another way to reduce your insecurity levels is by learning some basic relationship skills.

When you constantly put yourself in a position where you’re comfortable, then you’re more likely to be more confident.

Learn how to ask for what you want in a relationship and practice this skill with your partner. 

This will help you become more self-confident and obviously, the same goes for your partner as well.

The fact that you follow some of these tips will help boost your relationship. 

Choose some basic skills that you want to work on in the relationship – for example, showing a little affection or understanding, taking the time to listen, or asking what’s bothering you. 

Developing basic relationship skills such as saying “I love you” and “I care about you” have a way of making everything better. 

This is the most important part of any relationship, and you must learn how to express these skills. 

6) Believe in yourself.

Another next step is to believe in yourself. 

Most of the time your insecurity is just a product of past experiences with relationships. 

It’s easy to think that this relationship could end up the same way, but don’t let these past experiences affect your current relationship. 

In order for things to be better you need to believe that this can turn out great. 

It may take some time, but once you start to build your confidence and grow in your own abilities you will notice that things are far better.

Besides, you may have had some bad experiences with friends or family telling you that they don’t like your boyfriend. 

These comments may have made you distracted, causing you to start questioning yourself more than your partner.

It’s normal for you to feel insecure as a result of what people think about your relationship, especially since we typically care more about what other people think than our own opinion. 

In order to stop being an insecure girlfriend it’s important that you stay confident in yourself, and in the relationship.

Spend some time every day thinking about things that you like about the relationship instead of focusing too much on other people’s thoughts.

7) Eliminate negative influences and remind yourself to stay positive.

If you find yourself having negative thoughts about your relationship or your partner, then try to stop them. 

I’m sure you have noticed that these thoughts can lead to negative actions as well. 

You need to be positive in your thoughts and that starts with you.

A piece of advice is that you should start your day by helping to eliminate any insecurities that you may have. 

pexels katerina holmes 5911275 10 ways to stop being an insecure girlfriend

A simple way to do this is to practice affirmations throughout the day. 

Affirmations are short phrases that you say out loud to replace negative thought patterns.

For example, if you are in an insecure relationship then the affirmation “I am an attractive woman” might help replace undesired thoughts about your looks. 

After a few weeks of saying affirmations out loud, you will find yourself feeling more confident and having a more positive outlook on life.

Another great technique is to use visualizations at night when going to sleep.

Visualizations are very simple – you just have to picture a positive outcome for yourself. 

A simple visualization might be imagining how you and your partner will be in the future as a result of how you helped improve your relationship during the day. 

8) Enjoy yourself.

This one is important!

You don’t have to be perfect. 

But you do have to make sure you are enjoying yourself and having fun. 

This is the most important thing that you need to do. 

You need to stop worrying so much about your appearance as well as whether or not you are doing something wrong. 

If there are things that you like to do or places that you want to see, then enjoy yourself as much as possible while you have time. 

This can provide you with a lot of inspiration and motivation when dealing with your relationship problems or insecurities.

If you enjoy hanging out with your partner then you’re doing nothing wrong, and if you don’t enjoy it then it’s time for a break. 

The two of you should both be enjoying yourselves, when one isn’t having fun this is a major cause of insecurity. 

By enjoying yourself and having fun, you’re showing your partner that you are an independent woman but when you love him, you give him the attention he deserves. 

If you start focusing on the things that you like then it will be easier to enjoy the relationship and not worry so much about what other people are thinking. 

It’s also a good idea to spend some time doing things that you enjoy, such as going shopping or going out with your friends.

9) Don’t take things for granted.

You might have been feeling insecure because you’re not sure that your partner loves and values you as much as you love him. 

The best kind of relationship is one that is based on mutual trust and respect. Relationships based on these two things don’t need to be inspected for small problems because the foundation is solid. 

If your partner does something nice for you then appreciate it and don’t take it for granted. It’s important to figure out how to show your partner that you sincerely appreciate him – even if they don’t say or do anything. 

This will help to strengthen the trust in the relationship and make it a more positive experience.

For example, sometimes it can be helpful to send a text message saying “I really appreciate everything that you do for me.” You could also write a note on your partner’s mirror reminding him about their positive qualities.

In addition to writing notes, it can be helpful to do something nice for your partner every day. 

Going out of your way to show that you care is a powerful way of reaffirming to your partner that their relationship means a lot to you. 

10) Get help.

If you feel like your insecurities are getting out of control, or if you’re just tired of feeling insecure, or any other problem then you can always talk to a psychologist about it. 

In addition, if you feel like your partner is hurting your relationship in some way then it’s always helpful to have another perspective or point of view from someone else.

A therapist will be able to help you figure out what has caused your emotional issues, and also show you how to change these negative feelings in the future.

By doing this, you can start to feel more confident about yourself, and in your relationship. 

It’s also important to make sure that you are being honest with your therapist so that they can help you work through any issues that may be causing you problems.

Although it can be embarrassing to seek help with a relationship problem, there’s nothing wrong with doing so. 

 And after getting help, it’s always better to communicate openly with your partner about any problems that you experience rather than trying to ignore them or lying to them.

In this way, you and your partner can come to understand each other better and work towards overcoming any issues that come up.


Of course, there are other ways to improve your relationship and stop feeling insecure, but the 10 simple steps listed above are all easy ways of regaining your confidence

Those won’t take much effort on your part and those will help you feel a lot better about yourself.

Next time you feel insecure, think of these tips and start making changes. 

You can’t stop being insecure once it has crept into your life, but with a bit of hard work every day, you can break free and make things better for yourself as well as your partner.

Picture of Nguyet Yen Tran

Nguyet Yen Tran

Yen is a freelance writer and a researcher specializing in mental health, self-awareness, and psychology. Her hobby is studying human behavior throughout their reaction upon situations. Be sure to check out her other posts on our blog.

Enhance your experience of Ideapod and join Tribe, our community of free thinkers and seekers.

Related articles

Most read articles

Get our articles

Ideapod news, articles, and resources, sent straight to your inbox every month.