Jude Paler
Sometimes it feels as if there is nothing you can do to fix your relationship problems.
If your marriage has been slipping downhill, it’s high time that you turn those rocks back into the solid ground again.
Whether you’re having a hard time in your marriage or not, it’s always good to have some tips and tricks up your sleeve to help save your relationship.
This article will give you a variety of key tips that are sure to help save the day and make things better between you and your partner.
We’ll show you some of the best places to start.
1) Think about what’s keeping you together.
Think about the good things that have kept you together over the years, and concentrate on them.
That doesn’t mean you have to rely on the past, but focus on what has kept you together, and use that to bring your relationship back up to where it was.
Focus on the things which you don’t need to change, rather than those that you can’t bear to lose.
For example, if you’re having problems with your partner and their family, remember the good times you’ve had in the past when you were all together.
Think about what it is about those good times which make them so memorable for you.
Ask yourself why that’s so, and concentrate on those qualities which are important to each of you. If you both value a sense of humor, for instance, try to be light-hearted more often.
Relieve stress by jokingly making fun of each other.
If you have children, try to be a good role model for them by getting along and spending time together as a family. Take your relationship slow and enjoy the good time.
Don’t forget! Focus on the good things and rise above the problems.
2) Re-examine your priorities.
Look at what things are important to you.
Just as it’s easy to blame the problems on your partner, they can also be blamed on you.
Your marriage can be a casualty of all the stresses in your life, so take a look at your life and see whether it’s causing stress.
Are you putting work, money, or anything else ahead of your relationship?
If you are, it shows.
It shows that you’re not willing to compromise for your partner and that your relationship is not as important to you as other things in your life.
By re-examining what’s important to you, both in life and in your marriage, you’ll be able to find the right balance between yourself and the people who matter most to you.
If your top priorities are keeping peace in the house, being generous, and forgiving of each other’s faults, then maybe it’s time to reconsider.
There are many good things in your relationship that you should be grateful for.
3) Be sure to listen and be open to hearing your partner out.
This one is important.
Be sure to listen to your partner’s side of the story, and be considerate of what they have to say.
Don’t interrupt them while they are talking and concentrate on what they’re saying.
Listen to the things that you don’t want to hear because sometimes you’ll find the answer to your problem there.
Give them a chance to explain what’s on their mind and hear what they have to say.
Try not to interrupt them during their explanation unless it’s really necessary to do so.
Listening is a gift that you can give your partner, but it also gives you something in return.
It can be hard not to jump straight into an argument sometimes, and even the most patient person may find themselves snapping at someone they love when they’re in a bad mood.
Try to keep a cool head and don’t assume that your partner has the answer.
Go with what they say and think about it, rather than assuming that you know the answers all by yourself.
4) Make time for one another.
It is easy for couples to get into a pattern of spending too much time apart or spending time together with distractions (the TV, cell phones, and so forth).
Find time to spend with each other, and make sure that you’re not taking too many things for granted.
Make it a point to have quality conversations together where you find out more about what’s happening in each other’s lives.
Learn about your partner’s dreams and goals and make them feel special.
Be open, be honest, and be yourself. Compliment each other and make them feel good about themselves.
Go out to dinner or find something else to do together, take a trip somewhere, or go see a movie — anything that makes you feel good about being with each other.
Going on a date is a must, and if your relationship is already suffering from lack of attention then it’s even more of a must.
Take time every week or so away from the kids and go have fun.
You don’t have to spend every waking moment together, but the nights you spend apart should be spent in the same house.
If that’s not possible because of work, then try to speak and communicate more often throughout the day.
If you’re not in the habit of doing it, now is the time to start.
5) Be honest with your partner.
Be honest about how you feel and how you’re feeling about…everything.
Be upfront and be real with each other, let them know when something is bothering you or bothering them.
Say ‘I love you and mean it — every day, a lot. Show your partner how important they are to you.
If you love them, don’t just wait for them to say it; tell them first.
Learn to express your feelings to each other.
If you’re feeling upset about something, then you must let your partner know about it.
Don’t bottle up your feelings and let them fester within you.
Talk to them about what’s bothering you and talk to them even when they don’t say a word — but don’t talk at them.
Getting an earful of nagging won’t do any good no matter how much love is behind it
Earn back their trust by showing them that you can change.
6) Show each other respect and make it clear that you value their opinions about your relationship.
The most important thing that a person needs to feel is respect.
Without respect, your marriage will fail.
Respect goes beyond just talking to each other with respect, it means doing things for the person you love and treating them with kindness and courtesy without expecting something in return.
It means showing them that they are a priority in your life.
Don’t say things behind their back or gossip about them — tell them what you think even if it’s “critical.
Many times, couples have a bad habit of treating each other as if they are objects in their lives rather than partners, which may have become a habit from being together for such a long time.
Don’t let it happen to you, don’t let your relationship drift apart.
Be sure that you’re showing each other the same respect in all things, big or small.
Remember this!
7) Be willing to compromise.
One of the reasons why your marriage is falling apart is because both of you are so focused on getting your way that discussing things with each other has become a lost art.
It’s a myth that relationships are always 50/50, but there are some things in a relationship where both partners can contribute something, even if it’s just something small.
If you’re not willing to sacrifice your wants and needs for another, then you ARE a selfish person — and that’s something you should avoid at all costs.
Be willing to make compromises with each other, but be sure that each one of them is beneficial for both of you.
Try not to try to put one over on your partner by doing something just because it’s easy rather than because it’s good.
8) Embrace new challenges together.
Life will eventually become boring if you stick to the same daily routine for too long.
The key to solving this is to create new challenges that you can tackle together as a family, and you must be open-minded enough to tackle them even if they are not your idea.
Here’s a scenario.
Your partner wants to take up a new hobby like knitting or origami.
Even if you don’t share their interest, be supportive and encourage them to keep at it.
You’ll find out that you have more in common than you think and that your relationship has grown closer because of it.
If your partner offers an idea that makes you uncomfortable at first, then be willing to at least think about it before dismissing it out of hand.
Think about it together with your partner and figure out if it’s something that you can do together.
In the end, if you can make your life more interesting in the process then you’ve succeeded.
9) Work on your relationship every day.
The last tip is simple: work on your marriage every single day!
Even if you do nothing else, and just keep this in mind every day, you’ll be able to work through your problems.
Loving your partner means working on yourself and being willing to sort out the things that keep you from being content.
Loving your partner means saying I’m sorry and admitting when you are wrong.
The only way to be happy is if both people involved in the relationship work towards a happy outcome.
Remember, marriage is kept alive by two people – both of you must work on it every single day!
Conclusion
So these few tips on saving your troubled marriage can come a long way for you.
Saving the relationship when you’re the only one trying is tough but it doesn’t always mean your relationship should be scrapped.
Because if you still love your spouse, what you need is a plan of attack to mend your marriage.
Many things can slowly infect a marriage—distance, lack of communication, and sexual issues. If not dealt with correctly, these problems can metamorphosize into infidelity and disconnectedness.
When someone asks me for advice to help save failing marriages, I always recommend relationship expert and divorce coach Brad Browning.
Brad is the real deal when it comes to saving marriages. He is a best-selling author and dispenses valuable advice on his extremely popular YouTube channel.
The strategies Brad reveals in it are extremely powerful and might be the difference between a “happy marriage” and an “unhappy divorce”.
Watch his simple and genuine video here.
