How to make your ex text you first

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Getting your ex to reach out to you is a delicate process.

After all, people don’t usually end relationships unless they’re not happy with the state of things and don’t want to be with the other person anymore.

That being said, there are ways you can get your ex to be the one to text you first!

Are you curious?

Well, if you’re ready to work your magic and make them text first, keep reading!

1) Understand why they are not texting you

The first thing you need to understand is why your ex is not texting you.

The reasons can help you determine the best way to go about getting them to be the ones to initiate contact again.

The reasons people don’t reach out are extremely varied.

They could be feeling sad, angry, regretful, confused, or even hopeful.

They could also be just too busy to reach out, but with your help, it’s possible to get them to overcome their reluctance and send that first text!

The reason why they are not texting you usually have something to do with the breakup.

Either the breakup was pretty recent or they are trying to move on.

This is why in order to understand why they are not texting you, you might also need to dig a big deeper and look at the reasons for your breakup:

2) Understand the reasons for the breakup

The breakup could have been very traumatic for both of you.

It could have been an extremely emotional and painful experience, or it could have been a calm and rational decision.

Whatever the case, the reasons for the breakup are important to identify. Finding the reasons behind the breakup can provide clarity and insight into the relationship and what went wrong.

These reasons can help you understand where your ex was coming from and allow you to feel more comfortable with the decision to end things.

Once you understand why your ex decided to break things off, you have a better chance of moving on and letting go!

But not just that, when you understand what went wrong, you also know exactly what you need to work on in order to make them want to text you!

This is what brings us to the next point:

3) Work on yourself and your issues

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Communication and relationship issues between you and your ex are obviously important and need to be worked out.

But, before you can even start to address those issues, you need to work on yourself and your issues.

This means taking some time to figure out what your issues are and how they may have affected the relationship.

For example, if you have anxiety or depression, you need to get the help you need so you can start feeling healthy again.

Issues with your self-esteem and self-confidence will also seriously affect your ability to keep a healthy relationship.

Once you work on yourself and your issues, you give yourself a better chance at making your ex want to text you!

Trust me, that is your best bet at making them want to reach out.

However, even though it might feel counter-intuitive, you may need some distance to do this:

4) Take some distance, so you have the time and opportunity to change

If you are trying to get your ex to text you and still be with them, then it might not be the best idea to text them.

If they broke up with you, they may need more time to heal and process things.

If you text them and their response is cold or uninterested, it can be extremely hurtful.

If you cut off all communication, you can start to feel lost and desperate.

However, if you take some time away from the relationship, you can gain clarity and perspective.

You might realize that the relationship wasn’t good for you and that you are better off without it. Or, you could use the break to grow and become a better partner.

You see, even though you want to talk to them right this second, without any distance, there is little room for change.

And without change, your ex probably has no incentive to reach out to you. Things are still the same, after all!

This is why you should take some time for yourself and work on the issues you have!

This will also make you more interesting, which is my next point:

5) Become an interesting person to talk to

If you want your ex to text you, then you have to make yourself an interesting person to talk to. If you have issues and a boring life, they probably don’t want to be friends with you.

Think about it: why would they want to text you?

Even if you do get them to text you, they probably won’t stay interested in talking to you.

But you can change this!

You can become an interesting person to talk to by doing things you enjoy, reading books, and branching out and talking to new people.

If you make it clear that you are a fun and engaging person, they might decide to keep hanging out with you.

And if they do, then the chances of them texting you or reaching out to you will be much higher!

This doesn’t mean you have to change who you are in order for them to like you.

Instead, focus on what brings you joy and then learn more about it. No matter what the topic is, people who are passionate about something are automatically more interesting.

And their life will be more interesting, too:

6) Make your life intriguing, so they want to be a part of it

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If you want your ex to text you, then you have to make your life intriguing enough that they want to be a part of it.

If you don’t make your life intriguing, they may have no desire to talk to you.

And if they do decide to text you, they may only be interested in talking to you out of pity.

So, how do you make your life intriguing? You could go on a trip, take some new classes, or make some drastic changes in your lifestyle.

Something as simple as changing your hair color or starting a boxing class can be intriguing to people.

And if you intrigue them enough to want to be a part of your life, they will most likely text you!

You can use social media to your advantage here and post things about your life.

When your ex sees that your life looks fun, they will want to be a part of it and reach out to you!

And when they do, it’s crucial that you know how to react:

7) When they do text, don’t do normal small talk

If your ex does text you, then they are showing an interest in talking to you.

However, if you respond with normal small talk, they may lose interest in talking to you again.

Instead, when they text you, they should feel like they are being pulled into an exciting conversation that they just can’t put down.

This means you have to have interesting things to say and be ready to talk to them about things that aren’t “how have you been?” “The weather has been crazy!”.

Instead, talk about the exciting things you’ve done in the last few weeks or personal discoveries you’ve made!

You can do this by keeping yourself interested and engaged and also asking them deep questions.

You can also read books, go to new places, and interact with new people so you have interesting things to talk about!

The previous points will help you with that.

In short, become a person you’d want to reach out to, as well, which is my next point:

8) Become a person you’d want to reach out to, as well

If you want your ex to text you, then you need to become a person who would want to text, as well.

When you think about it, what kind of person would you find super interesting to talk to and why?

What are their character traits, and what do they do on a day-to-day basis?

These questions will help you to become a person that anybody would love to talk to, including your ex.

Again, this is not about changing who you are at your core, but more so about changing the way you feel about yourself.

You see, you can have all the same habits and interests, but if you feel confident that you’d be a person anyone would love to chat with, you will radiate that energy!

That brings me to my next point:

9) Build up your own confidence

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The breakup may have left you feeling hurt, vulnerable, and confused.

If it did, you may feel hesitant to initiate contact with your ex. You may feel like you are pushing your luck and pushing them away again.

If this is the case, it’s important that you work on building up your confidence again.

Take time to heal, surround yourself with positive people, and engage in activities that make you feel good about yourself.

Once you feel more confident and positive again, you will feel more comfortable reaching out to your ex!

And as I mentioned earlier, when you radiate confidence, other people want to be around you more!

This is what will make your ex want to reach out to you again!

But the last point is probably the most important:

10) Let go of the attachment that they need to text you

If you want your ex to text you, then you need to let go of the attachment that they need to text you.

If you think about it, trying to force your ex to text you can be extremely unhealthy.

Not only do you put them in a very uncomfortable position, but you also hold yourself back from making new and positive connections.

If you truly want to move on and be happy, then you have to let go of the attachment that they need to text you.

Instead, focus on becoming a better person, letting go of your negative emotions, and the rest will fall into place!

The key to getting your ex to text you is to let go of your attachment to them and focus on becoming a better person for yourself, not for them.

Once you become a better person, you will naturally attract better relationships. And who knows, one of those relationships could be with your ex!

Final thoughts

In the end, it’s truly all about you.

You can never control what another person thinks, feels, or does.

All you can do is control what you do with your life. This is why all of these tips have to do with leveling up your own life because that’s truly the only thing you can do to make your ex reach out to you.

And the best part?

Even if that doesn’t quite work out, you will still be left with more confidence and a better life that will help you to meet the person of your dreams!

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Anna Scheucher

Freelance writer specializing in holistic health, wellness, and psychology. Check out my blog to find out more https://www.fullyholistic.com/!

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