10 ways to make your ex miserable and uncertain

Do you want to know how to make your ex miserable and uncertain?

I’m honestly not judging.

Sometimes they deserve it and then some.

Let’s get started.

1) Revenge isn’t always bad

Maybe I’m what they call an unreliable narrator like Holden Caulfield in Catcher in the Rye.

But the truth is that I really believe sometimes a bit of old-fashioned revenge is the right way to go.

Plus it can be kind of fun… If done right.

You want to make your ex feel like shit.

I don’t blame you. I’ve been there. And I’m not going to patronize you or tell you that it’s never the right thing to do.

I’m going to give you real tips on how to do this and give your ex the perfect combo of humiliation and realization that they just lost the best person who ever happened to them.

My point is:

Don’t act impulsively, but have a bit of fun with this. Think of this like you getting a small part to play in designing karma.

And make the payback sting. (Just a lil’ bit).

2) Post your best life online

One of the best ways to make your ex miserable and uncertain is to post your best life online.

But do it the smart way.

Go to fun backyard barbecues or bars with your friends. Post a spontaneous selfie.

Your ex needs to see that you’re truly getting on with your life in a big way.

It can’t be forced or fake.

I’ll be honest:

There’s no way to fake this that will work.

Get out there and have a good time even if it’s the last thing you want. Post photos with new friends and hot humans that will make your ex meltdown like Chernobyl with jealousy.

You got this.

3) Expand your social circle

Next up for ways to make your ex miserable and uncertain is to expand your social circle.

What do I mean by this?

I mean it literally. Get those numbers up.

Go to a new tennis club. Try to make friends anywhere you can (within reason).

Consider yourself a free agent.

God, or the Universe or whatever noun you’d prefer has put you on a mission:

And that mission is to talk to people, make friends, form bonds and become very involved in many different things.

You’re just on fire.

Your ex is in the background muttering and complaining. But you’re online posting selfies with your childhood heroes and having the time of your life.

You’re doing great while they sink into a shitty depression soup. I’m sorry to break it to them, but they have lost and you have won.

4) Level up in love

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Next up in the ways to make your ex miserable uncertain is to level up in love.

You want to be the selector who chooses the best mate for yourself. You’re the prize, not the prize winner.

Dating someone new and meeting beautiful potential mates is going to make your ex feel jealous and upset.


How do you do that?

You find a new way to love and intimacy that’s going to bust your world wide open.

I recommend this free masterclass from the Brazilian shaman Rudá Iandé.

It opened my eyes big time about the lies I was buying into about love and showed me how to leave my ex behind in the dust and move on to much better romantic opportunities.

5) Excel in your job

Never underestimate professional success.

No matter how well your ex is doing financially and in their career, seeing you truly take off is going to put a bee in their bonnet.

The truth is that it’s impossible not to notice when somebody loves their job and is doing well in it.

Even if your ex isn’t following you closely online, he or she is going to get wind of your promotion, your work success and your excellence.

And they’re going to feel like they lost a good thing (because they did!)

6) Work on your body

Some people think of physical beauty as shallow, but I disagree.

It’s true that we’re not all born as Greek gods or goddesses.

But working on our body and becoming healthy, fit and full of energy is a great thing to do.

It speaks to character and discipline, not just physical appearance.

One of the best ways to make your ex miserable and uncertain is to hit the gym, diet and work on your body.

Get so healthy that you wake up in the morning wanting to do a Rocky air punch and run a marathon.

Feel that sense of satisfaction after a long workout and resting on the sofa and know that your ex is wishing they were as fit as you.

7) Work on your mind

In the aftermath of a breakup, it’s inevitable that you’re going to be feeling let down and maybe even angry, depressed and anxious.

You may feel like a failure or like you’ll never meet someone new. It’s not a fun state to be in!

But one of the best ways to get through this and live your best life is to realize that these bad thoughts aren’t useless.

Sometimes they can help you process the pain.

As Zan notes at Magnet to Success:

“Bad thoughts are there to protect you from the pain and injustice your ex has caused to you.

“They are your self-defense mechanism and the only thing keeping you sane from acting on impulse.”

In other words, stewing in your misery sometimes is OK. It can help you decide how you want to get back at your ex without doing so impulsively (just please keep any revenge 100% legal).

8) Make big moves

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What’s your goal for your life?

Start making big moves in line with your dreams.

Your ex is going to see this and feel confused and like crap because you’re getting on with your life and expanding in huge ways that no longer include them.

This could be moving into a new house…

Starting a business…

Forming a new romantic relationship

Evolving on your spiritual or religious path…

Just make sure that at the end of the day you’re making big moves that are true to you and you’re doing it for yourself, not for the impact they’ll have on your ex.

Not caring about what they think can sometimes be the best form of revenge.

9) Play with them over text

Another of the best ways to make your ex miserable and uncertain is to play with them over text.

In tip 10 I’ll get to the most devastating move you can do on this front.

But besides that, you can also do a number of other things over text that will really mess with them:

For example, you can send a flirtatious message and then ghost them, never responding and leaving them in the dark…

You can send a photo of you out with a few friends, one of whom you’re clearly flirting with and act like you just sent it to be friendly…

You can also post a lot on social media in cryptic ways that clearly refer to your ex but not directly.

Talk about how a bad relationship is like being sick and it’s so nice once you get over it and start feeling like yourself again without the nasty germ (your ex) infecting you.


10) Send the text of doom

What is the text of doom, you might ask?

It’s simple:

It’s a text you intend to send to another potential love interest but send to your ex instead.

This is the romantic equivalent of a sucker punch. 

This is for when you’ve been fucked over in a way that you truly want to see your ex squirm.

You text (or sext) this new guy or girl for all you’re worth, making sure to include their name and some detail about them that is clearly different from your ex…

But you intentionally send this text to your ex, pretending it was by mistake.

…Then you follow it up a few hours later with an “oh shit, that text was meant for someone else, I’m so sorry. Oops.”

Are you really sorry?

Because I doubt it.

And I don’t blame you.

Getting proactive

The best ways to make your ex miserable and uncertain are all centered around living your best life and making it clear that you’re going to be OK.

Regardless of who broke up with who, moving on with your life and becoming stronger will hurt your ex.

They may be far more stuck than you are, and seeing you move on and get over them is going to sting.

Getting some payback and knowing your ex is suffering can be worth it, as I said at the beginning.

But sooner or later your focus will shift from that chapter of your life to the next one: what you do next and the search for love.

I once again really recommend this free masterclass from the Brazilian shaman Rudá Iandé about finding true love and intimacy.

If you’ve gotten your payback and you’re looking to be more proactive, this masterclass will show you the way to find love for real.

Think of your ex as your past. You loved, you learned.

Now it’s time to grow into a new evolution of yourself and become a proactive co-creator of the love of your dreams.

Picture of Paul Brian

Paul Brian

Paul R. Brian is a freelance journalist and writer who has reported from around the world, focusing on religion, culture and geopolitics. Follow him on www.twitter.com/paulrbrian and visit his website at www.paulrbrian.com

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