If you feel that someone is taking you for granted and you want to make them realize your importance in their life, you’re in the right place.
I’m here to tell you that being taken for granted is common and that it’s a mistake people make all the time.
Most often than not, you can open their eyes by giving them less attention and doing fewer things for them.
In fact, there are 15 ways to make someone realize how important you are in their life.
Let’s take a look at each of them:
1) Stop calling or texting like you usually do.
When you’re always at their beck and call, making them feel loved, it’s hard for them to realize how important you are to them.
They’ll probably keep taking you for granted as long as they know that they can always count on you to be there whenever they call or text.
So start withdrawing from their lives gradually, and see what happens. Not calling or texting, as usual, will give them the opportunity to miss you and wonder what’s going on with you.
In addition, you’ll make them realize that without you in their life, they’d miss out on so much because your texts and calls were actually big parts of their days.
2) Stop planning one big thing after another.
When you’re always asking them what they’d like to do and taking care of every detail, it is easy for them to take you for granted. They don’t know about the efforts you put in to plan and organize your activities.
Hopefully, gradually withdrawing your efforts in planning one big thing after another will bring them to understand how much you were actually doing and allow them to take a step back and analyze their life without you in it.
3) Take back control over your mind, body, and soul.
As soon as you take back control over your mind, body, and soul, something surprising could happen. This person could realize how important you are to them and in their life.
But I get it, making someone realize your worth in their life can be hard, especially if you’ve been trying for a long time.
If that’s the case, I highly recommend watching this free breathwork video, created by the shaman, Rudá Iandê.
Rudá isn’t another self-professed life coach. Through shamanism and his own life journey, he’s created a modern-day twist to ancient healing techniques.
The exercises in his invigorating video combine years of breathwork experience and ancient shamanic beliefs, designed to help you relax and check in with your body and soul without thinking of this person.
After many years of suppressing my emotions, Rudá’s dynamic breathwork flow quite literally revived that connection.
And that’s what you need:
A spark to reconnect you with your feelings so that you can begin focusing on the most important relationship of all – the one you have with yourself.
So if you’re ready to take back control over your mind, body, and soul, and thus make someone realize how important you are for them, check out his genuine advice below.
4) Stop helping them with everything.
It often happens for people to overlook what others do for them because they don’t really notice. This is especially true when what someone does for them seems normal.
For example, helping them with the easiest chores when in fact they could do them without your help. Or, washing their clothes when they could actually do it themselves.
Taking this into consideration, give them the opportunity to realize how much they’re actually taking you for granted by gradually withdrawing from helping them with everything.
5) Stop being there for them when they need you the most.
Slowly fade away from their lives, make yourself less available, and see what happens. Stop helping them with their personal issues or taking care of their problems at work or school.
If you’re in a relationship with them, start withdrawing yourself physically and emotionally to see how they respond.
You’ll be surprised by what happens when you leave them to deal with things on their own without your support, encouragement, or help.
6) Stop defending them in front of other people.
Unless this person stands up for themselves, you can disregard this point. However, if you often have to defend them, then not doing it will definitely not pass unnoticed.
Don’t think for a second that they’ll have a hard time defending themselves because your purpose is to make them realize how much they need you.
So, if this person is often patronized or others make jokes about them, don’t hold yourself responsible for getting them out of the situation, especially if they don’t appreciate you.
7) Use your free time on yourself, not them.
So what can you do to make someone realize your importance in their life?
Start spending your free time on yourself, not them. Stop searching for external fixes to sort out your life by focusing on others; deep down, you know this isn’t working.
And that’s because until you look within and unleash your personal power, you’ll never find the satisfaction and fulfillment you’re searching for or other people’s appreciation.
I learned this from the shaman Rudá Iandê. His life mission is to help people restore balance to their lives and unlock their creativity and potential. He has an incredible approach that combines ancient shamanic techniques with a modern-day twist.
In his excellent free video, Rudá explains effective methods to achieve what you want in life, including how to build a better relationship with yourself and others; unlock your endless potential so that others can see it too, and put passion at the heart of everything you do.
You can start now by checking out his genuine advice.
8) Stop giving them gifts.
It is a proven fact that you become less important once you stop giving someone something.
So if you want someone to realize how important you are in their life, stop giving them things.
For example, if you always bring something sweet with you when you see this person, stop it.
But, don’t stop doing things for them for good. Just reduce your efforts and let them begin to appreciate what you’re doing for them.
People tend to notice what they don’t have rather than what they have.
9) Stop helping them get out of difficult situations.
From this point, you’re likely to face a dilemma because taking the easy way out and helping them once in a while is allowed, but doing all the work for them is not.
So from now on, do less work when it comes to getting them out of difficult situations.
They should have to know how much they depend on you, but if they don’t know it already, this move should make them realize how things really are.
10) Stop showing your affectionate and caring side.
Another thing you could do to make someone realize how important you are in their life is to stop showing them your affectionate and caring side.
Why? Because they might not value it enough when they don’t consider losing it.
Hopefully, gradually withdrawing from showing your affectionate and caring side will reveal how much they really need you in their life.
However, if it doesn’t pass unnoticed, it will be great for you because you’ll have more opportunities to show them your caring side again.
11) Stop showering them with compliments.
It is a known fact that when someone gets used to hearing nice things about themselves, it becomes difficult for them to realize when they are doing something wrong or out of place.
So if you want someone to feel how important you are in their life, stop showering them with compliments and wait for them to react in one way or another.
Most probably, they’ll quickly realize that you didn’t make any remarks about their appearance or the way they did something.
When this happens, they’ll know something is wrong and hopefully, they’ll give it some thought and have an awe moment.
12) Start saying “no” more often.
Do you have problems with saying “no”? If you can’t refuse someone when they ask you for something, they might take you for granted.
They might not realize how important you are in their life if you can’t even say “no” when you need to do it.
So start learning how to say “no” more often.
Say it when someone asks you for money or asks for your opinion on their decisions, especially if you have some doubts about them.
Making yourself unavailable will make someone miss your presence and care.
13) Stop spending time with them.
Although this might be far from what you want, this solution could work. If you stop spending time with this person, they are likely to notice it.
Once they start realizing that it isn’t just about missing your company, but also about a lot of things, they’ll be motivated to get back into your life as soon as possible.
Or, at least this is what you’re going for.
So if you have this problem with a friend, colleague, or a family member, make yourself less available to them without being rude.
Just because their eyes aren’t open when it comes to you, it doesn’t mean that they deserve harsh treatment.
14) Stop saying you love them.
This person might take you for granted because they know how much you love them. Or, because they believe that you’ll always be there for them anyway.
So if this is the case, start saying less often that you love them and see what they do afterward.
Even when it comes to friendships, people tend to be more careful of their friend’s feelings when the latter is showing a cooler attitude towards them or isn’t so warm anymore.
This is true for almost every human.
15) Stop showing up at important events.
Are you the person this special someone always relies on to show up at different events and not leave them alone?
Even if your presence is expected, the fact that you’re not appreciated by this person is a good enough reason to say ‘pass’.
At first, they might feel offended, but then they’ll quickly realize that they were taking your presence for granted. Hopefully, they’ll start feeling grateful for what you did for them.
Until then, it is always good to have your own life and give this person a chance to make an effort of their own.
How to make someone less important in your life?
The points above suggest doing fewer things for this person in order for them to realize your importance in their life. However, I know this could be difficult for you to do, especially if you care a lot about this person.
Even so, there are a few things that you could do to ease your process:
Focus on yourself.
You’re probably tired of hearing this, but you should focus on yourself more. If your mind is occupied and your soul is in the right place, you’ll be able to give this person less attention.
In time, they’ll become less important to you because you’ll have other important things to focus on that are related to you and you only.
Who knows, maybe your work will pay off and other people will notice how valuable and important you are in their lives without you trying to make them see.
Be kind to people who really need it.
Let other people into your life; people who really need your kindness. Focus on them and their needs if you want to think less about him/her.
In this way, you’ll improve your personal situation, as well as help others that you feel are worthy of your attention.
By doing so, you’ll feel a different kind of fulfillment, but a rewarding one nonetheless.
Think of yourself as someone who deserves something better.
If you think of yourself as someone who deserves something better, this person will fade away from your attention without you trying to make it happen.
You’ll start doing things that are more important to you, and this will end up making them less important in your life.
So, think about the things that are important to you and start doing it without giving this person too much attention anyway.
Surround yourself with people who appreciate you.
Surround yourself with people who appreciate you, because they are the ones who will most likely recognize your worth.
They will also keep your mind away from the other person and slowly make him or her unimportant to you.
So try to do what you want with your life, and don’t make it about pleasing everyone.
It doesn’t matter if this person is your relative or a loved one, if they can’t appreciate you for who you are, then it’s time to accept it.
Avoid drama at all costs.
I’m going to say it again: avoid drama at all costs!
You don’t have time for this, and neither do you need it.
The less drama you have in your life, the more likely you will be able to think about your future plans and goals. That’s why drama should be avoided at all costs.
Don’t make things about them, when they’re really about you.
How to accept that you’re not important to someone and move on?
Accepting that you’re not as important to someone as they are to you should be easier to do than you think.
You have to realize that, no matter how good your relationship with this person is, there is a chance they will take you for granted.
There are things they will say or do that make it impossible not to notice and accept this fact.
And when that time comes, you have to be ready and determined enough to let go of this person.
Why? Because if you try to hold on to them, you’ll end up doing yourself more harm than good.
That’s a common pattern that most people have, but it’s time for you to stop repeating these mistakes by giving this person too much attention.
Without wishing to hurt or be hurt, end the relationship and move on knowing that it wasn’t meant to last this long anyway.
Conversely, if it’s the type of relationship that you can’t end, for example, with a family member, then try to keep your interactions to a minimum.
Feeling unimportant? Take action!
Now you know what you could do to make someone realize your importance in their life.
However, there are many other ways you can go about this. It all depends on how deep your relationship is with this person, but the ones I’ve mentioned above should be helpful to you.
Don’t be afraid to take action and detach yourself from them. Maybe that’s exactly what they need to see and realize how valuable you are to them.