10 no bullsh*t ways to make him jealous without losing him

We sometimes include products we think are useful for our readers. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. Read our affiliate disclosure.


Do you love your man, but feel like you also love a bit of drama?

Maybe your relationship feels a little stale or you want to feel him look at you with the same eyes full of desire that he had when you first started dating?

Ladies, here are 10 of the clearest ways to make him jealous without losing him in the process. Are you ready?

Let’s jump right in:

1) Go Out With Your Friends

On the good days of your relationship, one of the best ways to keep things fresh is to keep your options open.

You don’t need to see him or speak to him or text him every day, but you should keep busy and allow him to feel a sense of distance so that he wonders how you are and what you are up to.

Your friends are the perfect buffer- they keep you from getting too lonely and your man will be left wondering what you are up to.

If he notices that you are posting pictures of you having great fun with your friends, he will feel happy and jealous that he’s missing your company.

Likewise, if he doesn’t hear from you for some time he might start to wonder what you are doing and who you are with. This can create a small sense of jealousy that will make him want to be closer to you and do more things with him.

So staying busy and going out with your friends is an easy way to create some innocent jealousy.

This can be a great way to keep your man guessing!

2) Take Great Photos of Yourself Having Fun with Other People

Make sure to take great photos of yourself looking your best with your girls. Put on those high heels and show off those legs.

He will always remember those early days and how much fun those nights were when you were both dressed to impress, so make sure to bring some of that confidence along with you.

Make sure he can see you looking your best.

The next time he comes to your door, put a little extra effort into looking your best again. The better you treat yourself, the more he will want to hang on and treat you well.

Don’t be afraid to show off the photos you have with your friends or when you go out. He will just think you look amazing!

3) Go on a Vacation, By Yourself

This one may be a little sneaky and it’s by no means easy, but it is effective.

Take yourself on a romantic getaway with yourself – a city walk, a trip to the spa, a day of museums, and lunch at an outdoor cafe-this will keep things fresh for you.

The more you do the things you love, the more attractive you will seem. He will want to be a part of your sexy, vibrant, and full life.

A girl’s getaway is also a great idea if you’re serious about bringing up your relationship to the next level.

Remember, he wants you to be happy and also for him to be noticed by other people.

If he sees that you are having a good time with your girls, then he will notice you are in a better mood and a happier place and have a sense of jealousy.

This will want to make him spend more time with you.

4) Don’t Be a Super Girlfriend

If you make your man feel sad or spend all day worrying about whether or not you are safe and whether or not he has done his job as a man by ensuring that you are taken care of then he might not want to spend so much time with you.

Let him know that you are independent and that he does not have to worry about you but if he does, that should make his feelings for you stronger.

Let him know that you appreciate his efforts and take notice of what he does for you.

He will appreciate knowing that you are worth investing in and will feel even more proud of the fact that you have never needed him.

There’s a psychological term for what I’m talking about here. It’s called the ‘hero instinct’.

This concept is generating a lot of buzz at the moment as a way to explain what drives men in relationships.

I know it might all seem kind of silly. In this day and age, women don’t need someone to rescue them. They don’t need a ‘hero’ in their lives.

But this misses the point about what the hero instinct is all about.

The hero instinct is an instinctive need that men have to step up to the plate for the woman in their lives. This is deeply rooted in male biology.

When a man genuinely feels like your everyday hero, he’ll become more loving, attentive, and committed to being in a long-term relationship with you.

But how do you trigger this instinct in him?

The trick is to make him feel like a hero authentically. And there are things you can say and messages you can send to trigger this natural biological instinct.

If you want some help doing this, check out James Bauer’s excellent free video here.

I don’t often recommend videos or buy into popular new concepts in psychology, but the hero instinct is one of the most fascinating concepts I’ve come across.

Here’s a link to his unique video again.

5) Let Him Feel Like He is Acting Like a New Man

When you are with your guy, make him feel like he is dating you again.

Bring your favorite drink along when you meet up with him or even better, bring his favorite drink and let him know that you remembered how much he loved the way it tasted.

Be a girlfriend and not a mother.

The most beautiful part of this is that as soon as you walk out of the door, drop any of these things that might come off as clingy or too much work on him.

Dress to Impress. It will make him feel as if he is more confident around you and it will let him know that you are interested in him, but don’t worry-he knows that you are already interested.

If he senses that what he feels is reciprocated tenfold, then he will feel this too and will be more excited about the fact that you have taken an interest in his life by finding out about his favorite music or movie genre.

Introduce yourself to some of his favorite things and bring them up now and again. He will love that you are interested and engaged in what he is interested in.

6) Add a Little Mystery

One of the best ways to keep his attention is to keep him guessing about what might be going on with you.

This can be done by making the simplest gestures or conversations that he could have interpreted as being about you but weren’t. Keep them light and sexy.

He might ask who you had lunch with that day and you can tease him a little thinking it was with another man. It’s just fine to act sexy and a little coy around your man.

You don’t have to tell him every detail about your day. Keep him guessing about what you are up to.

Make him feel a little jealous, but don’t be selfish about it.

Make time for him and let him know that he’s the only one for you.

This relates to what I mentioned earlier: the hero instinct.

When a man is made to feel needed, wanted, and respected, he’s more likely to feel more attracted to you.

And it’s as simple as knowing the right things to say to trigger his hero instinct and make him into the man he’s always wanted to be.

All of that and more is revealed in this excellent free video by James Bauer. It’s worth checking out if you’re ready to take things to the next level with your man.

Here’s a link to the free video again.

7) Leave Him Unsatisfied

This might be a difficult trick to try, but you don’t always have to be so nice to your man.

One of the best ways to break down a man’s will and make him feel jealous is to make him feel as though he has failed at something or that he has been less of a man than he might consider himself to be.

Keep this on the light side. It’s ok to tease him a little. It makes you feel more like a challenge to attain. But the line here is thin.

You don’t want to put down your man for things that are serious and things he can’t change. It’s ok to flirt with this tactic but remember to keep it playful.

Although this may seem like a bad idea, it is not. A little bit of insult or deflating comments can make him chase after you again. He will want to make you feel as though he is worth your time, thus making him try even harder to please you.

So, ladies, this might seem counterintuitive and even a bit mean, but you can let him know when he lets you down. Let him see how wonderful you are and chase you again. Just approach this tactic with caution.

One great way to keep your man on his toes is by leaving him wanting more. The busier you are the more he’ll want to spend time with you.

This means that you have to remain sexy, sophisticated, and strong-minded while being generally pleasant towards him but not overly emotional or needy in any way.

He will always want you to be around even if he doesn’t say it.

This is definitely how you make him jealous healthily and productively which might lead to an even more serious commitment.

8) Show Off the Other Men or Women Who Are Interested in You

If he feels as though you are the most beautiful woman in the world, then he will love knowing that other people are interested in what makes you so beautiful and interesting.

Men are visual creatures. They will also notice when other men are looking at their ladies and wanting them with desire.

Showing off your physique and charming personality in front of others will make him feel even more proud of you. But he might also feel more insecure because he knows that other men will be coming after you and that you are in a position to have your pick as to who you date. So this might trigger a little bit of jealousy.

Make sure to give your man reassurance and let him know that he is your first pick.

He will feel even more flattered to know that he gets to be the one to take you home.

By now you should have a good idea of why it’s important to make your man feel a little jealous, but also like your one and only hero.

So what can you do to resolve this?

Well, I mentioned the unique concept of the hero instinct earlier. It’s revolutionized the way I understand how men work in relationships.

You see, when you trigger a man’s hero instinct, all those emotional walls come down. He feels better in himself and he’ll naturally begin to associate those good feelings with you.

And it’s all down to knowing how to trigger these innate drivers that motivate men to love, commit, and protect.

So if you’re ready to take your relationship to that level, be sure to check out James Bauer’s incredible advice.

Click here to watch his excellent free video.

9) Tell a Fabulous Story of Your Life Every Once In A While

This is one of the most effective ways to make him jealous.

He will always remember what an amazing person he thought you were and will wonder how you met and who introduced you to each other.

Tell him a story that shows him how intelligent, daring, and beautiful you are. Don’t be shy. There’s a great deal to your life that he probably has no idea about and would continue to impress him.

The more he gets to know you the stronger your bond will be.

Also, take time to let him know how great of a catch he is.

Do not let him get the wrong idea by being too distant; tell him directly how great of a man he is and how lucky you are to have his attention.

10) Put Yourself First

This is something that we all go through, but it takes a lot of the pressure off of your relationship if you don’t stress about what your man thinks about everything. Make sure to be your own woman.

You need to make sure that you are feeling beautiful and happy and at ease with life.

Be the best version of yourself because that is how he fell in love with you in the first place.

Make sure to eat right, get enough sleep, and don’t worry about what he thinks of your body or the way you look when you are by yourself.

If he truly cares about you, then he will not think badly of your actions and will only see the most positive things in them.

He will see you happy and healthy and vibrant. So make sure to take care of your health and happiness.

In conclusion,

Every relationship is different, but one thing remains true: to make him stay, he has to be made jealous in a healthy way. There’s something sexy to the push and pull, to the catch and chase of relationships.

Otherwise, they can start to feel stuck or in a rut or a routine. Switch it up when you can. Tease him. Compliment him. Look your best, then disappear. Keep him wondering.

Being a bit distant and playing hard to get may seem counterintuitive, but it will work.

Don’t worry about what he thinks and try not to let him see that you are hurt or angry.

By being strong-minded and mysterious, he will want you even more and begin to fight for your affection more than ever before!

Just remember to keep it light and playful. Sexy and charming. Good luck!

I hope you found this lesson useful!

15 ways to respond when someone distances themselves from you (complete guide)

What to do when someone you love you pushes you away: 15 useful tips