Are you the type of woman who has been unlucky in love for the better portion of your life?
Have you given up hope on finding a special someone to fall in love with and sweep you off your feet?
If so, you’re in the right place because in this article I share a few ideas that could prove useful in making an avoidant man miss you!
1) Start dressing to impress
It is said that first impressions last. And when you’re dating an avoidant man, he’ll have a lasting first impression of you if you begin dressing like the gorgeous goddess you are.
If an avoidant man sees you as attractive, feminine, and easy on the eye, he’s going to feel more need for you in his life.
2) Stop being overly possessive and demanding of him
It’s sad but true that needy types tend to lose interest in people who come off as overly demanding and possessive.
Do you find yourself making threats if he doesn’t answer your calls right away or spend quality time with you?
If so, it’s time to change your ways. In order to make an avoidant man miss you, you need to start showing him that you can let go.
3) Make him feel like a hero
Does the word hero make you cringe!
Perhaps but here’s the thing. An avoidant man, although avoidant, is still a man.
There’s actually a psychological term for what I’m talking about here. It’s called the ‘hero instinct’.
This concept is generating a lot of buzz at the moment as a way to explain what really drives men in relationships.
I know it might all seem kind of silly. In this day and age, women don’t need someone to rescue them. They don’t need a ‘hero’ in their lives.
But this misses the point about what the hero instinct is all about.
The hero instinct is an instinctive need that men have to step up to the plate for the woman in their lives. This is deeply rooted in male biology.
When a man genuinely feels like your everyday hero, he’ll become more loving, attentive, and committed to being in a long-term relationship with you.
But how do you trigger this instinct in him?
The trick is to make him feel like a hero in an authentic way. And there are things you can say and messages you can send to trigger this natural biological instinct.
If you want some help doing this, check out James Bauer’s excellent free video here.
I don’t often recommend videos or buy into popular new concepts in psychology, but the hero instinct is one of the most fascinating concepts I’ve come across.
4) Do something that gives him a sense of adventure and mystery about you
An avoidant man craves security and predictability in his relationships.
If he feels safe with you, he’ll be more likely to let his guard down which increases the chances of him falling in love with you.
Show off the adventurous side of yourself by doing something that gives him a sense of mystery about you. Perhaps you can take him on a hike to an unknown place, or even try skydiving for the first time.
When he sees you as someone who’s not afraid to let go and live in the moment, he’s going to find himself falling in love with you.
5) Make it a point to spend a designated amount of time with him.
Perhaps you’ve been too busy working or attending to other issues to spend quality time with your avoidant man lately.
It’s high time that you schedule some quality time with him so he can see how important he is in your life.
But here’s the thing. Keep it brief and don’t stay over.
This will create a sense of mystery around you and he will be wondering why you’re leaving early and why you don’t want to spend the night.
6) Go out with your friends often enough to make him miss you.
You’ll be surprised how much one evening out with your girlfriends will leave an avoidant man yearning for you.
If he’s been feeling a bit neglected lately, a night out with your girls will make him want more from you because he’ll think about you non-stop once he gets home!
7) Sure, have some fun on your own.
While you’re at it, let him know that you’re not too clingy and suffocating by having a little fun on your own once in a while.
Perhaps you can go shopping with the girls or attend the art gallery with a few close friends. He’ll never see you as a clingy type of woman if he sees how much fun you can have on your own.
Bonus tip: If he begins asking where you are, give him vague answers like “Oh nothing much, I’m just out having some fun.” The truth is that he needs to see you as someone who can do whatever she pleases without depending on him for every little thing.
8) Put your best foot forward when you’re with him.
We all have bad days and sometimes we just can’t be on top of our game no matter how hard we try.
But when you’re dating an avoidant man, it’s a good idea to put your best foot forward at all times.
Try to put extra effort into your appearance so he feels extra special around you.
Also, get him to help you solve a problem. It could be as simple as opening the pickle jar, but get him to feel like he’s saving the day.
This relates back to what I mentioned earlier: the hero instinct.
When a man is made to feel needed, wanted, and respected, he’s more likely to commit to you.And it’s as simple as knowing the right things to say to trigger his hero instinct and make him into the man he’s always wanted to be.
All of that and more is revealed in this excellent free video by James Bauer. It’s absolutely worth checking out if you’re ready to take things to the next level with your man.
9) Break out of your comfort zone.
If you’ve been spending a lot of time with him and he hasn’t been showing a sign that he’s falling in love, maybe it’s time to give him some space.
Is there something you’ve always wanted to do but haven’t because you were too afraid to venture out on your own?
Maybe it’s time to hit the road and take a well-deserved vacay so he misses you more the next time you see each other.
10) Live your best life on social media.
Don’t be shy about expressing your life through social media.
When you’re dating an avoidant man, you need to be confident in front of the camera so he can see how happy and beautiful you are.
Post photos of yourself out and about with other guys, even if they’re only friends.
Show him that he’s not the only one who can have fun! Keep posting positive pictures so he knows you’re living the best life that is possible.
11) Make it a point to change your routine once in a while.
An avoidant man craves security and predictability in his relationships, so he needs to feel that he’s the one who keeps your life moving.
One way you can do this is by changing your routine once in a while.
Instead of going to the same stores and restaurants every day, try visiting new places once in a while. You might be surprised by what you find or discover.
12) Don’t answer his text or calls immediately.
Never be the first to respond when it comes to texting or calling him.
Of course, you’ll need to let him know he hasn’t been left out of anything in your life, but the best way to do that is by letting him know that you’re busy and can’t talk right now.
Do note that avoidant men don’t like this technique as it makes them feel like they’re not as important as you are.
If he gives up and doesn’t text or call you for a few days or weeks, this means he’s missing you and wants to know where you are!
13) Make him jealous.
Nothing is more effective than jealousy to make an avoidant man fall in love with you.
Show him how much you crave being in love by how you act towards other guys.
Flirt with other guys, and make sure he sees how much fun he has without you.
I learned this from one of the world’s leading experts on relationship psychology – Carlos Cavallo.
In this excellent free video, Carlos explains exactly what men want from a relationship and it’s actually quite simple:
They just want to feel good around the woman they’re with.
To find out how to do this, check out his free video here.
14) Give him a chance to be the man he wants to be.
We all know that we always tend to try and put the best possible version of ourselves out there instead of the real one.
That’s why it’s so important for you to give an avoidant man a chance. If he’s shy, don’t push him to do things, just let him do them when it’s time for that.
Don’t try and keep him from wanting to spend time with you by telling him how busy you are all the time. Be clear about your plans and show him that being together is what’s important in life!
15) Don’t be his perfect woman.
Every avoidant man wants to be with a woman who is perfect. If you’re too picky, it’s going to make him feel that he’s not good enough for you.
Be cool and relaxed when it comes to your plans and dates.
If he feels like he has to do something extra for you, or if he wants to bring his friends along, then let him know that you’re happy with that boyfriend he is!
Why do some men act avoidant?
Well, it’s because they’re afraid to let their guard down and expose themselves to you. Instead, they act like they don’t care so much about you.
While you might be picking up that he doesn’t really care about you, he’s actually craving your love and affection in the form of attention and support.
You see, when a man doesn’t show his emotions or feelings to the woman he loves, it makes him feel like she doesn’t matter as much.
Boys are taught at a young age that they shouldn’t cry or express their pain and tears when something bad happens.
Stiff upper lip and all that.
So instead of crying, they show that they’re strong by turning off their feelings and becoming afraid of being hurt.
In reality, these men really want to be with someone who will love them in spite of it all. It’s up to you to show him how much you love him, despite his fears and insecurities.
How to tell if an avoidant man is in love?
Now that you know the signs of being with an avoidant man, make sure you can spot him when he’s in love.
His body language is a good place to start. If his heart and head are open to you, and he’s expressing his happiness through his body language, then all signs are pointing towards him having feelings for you!
But what about when he doesn’t show any interest? How else do you know if he may still be interested in you?
Well, here are a couple of things to look out for:
1) He frequently comments on your social media posts.
If he’s constantly commenting on your posts, he’s expressing his feelings.
He wants to be the one to express his love via social media, and let you know that he cares!
2) He asks about you a lot or talks about you a lot at work or other social gatherings.
He might not be showing it because he’s afraid to show that much interest in you, but if he does ask about you and talk about how much he misses having you around, then he should be fine!
Guys do this all the time in order to let others know how much they miss their girlfriends!
3) He makes plans with you more often.
Whether it’s him inviting you out for a date or a movie, he’s trying to spend more time with you and show that he truly enjoys spending time with you!
4) He’s jealous of your attention toward other men.
If he’s insecure, it’s going to show up in how he treats other guys.
Including him in a conversation with a man could show you that he might be interested, so always make sure that you include him!
5) He shares his thoughts and feelings with you more often.
If he does this, he’s really trying to make you know that he cares about you.
The Don’ts of dating an avoidant man.
If there’s one thing we’ve learned so far, it’s that avoidant men really want to get back out there and let someone know how much they care.
- Don’t text him back whenever you see him not replying.
If you keep on texting him, it might make him feel like you’re seriously clingy and that he doesn’t need to reply back. That’s why my rule is, don’t text him at all unless it’s important.
- Don’t try to argue with him about when and where he wants to take you out for a date.
If he’s not ready yet, leave him alone so he can be himself and show you that he loves you!
- Don’t try to force yourself on him by taking things too easy or by making more demands on your relationship.
- Don’t ask, “what’s wrong?” or “Why haven’t you texted me back?”
And don’t ask him what he’s thinking about all the time! He needs time to think, and I’m sure that whatever he’s been thinking about is for a good reason.
- Don’t try to change his behavior or his personality.
He’s not going to change for you unless he’s really into you. So don’t put up with someone who doesn’t treat you well.
Remember, if he’s acting like that and does have strong feelings for you, then he’ll show it in his behavior towards you! So all I’m saying is just wait and see how things are going to go.
If it really doesn’t seem like he has any interest in making the first move or seeing where things go with the two of you, then he might not be interested enough in you.
By now you should have a good idea of how the mind of an avoidant man works.
So what can you do?
Well, I mentioned the unique concept of the hero instinct earlier. It’s revolutionized the way I understand how men work in relationships.
You see, when you trigger a man’s hero instinct, all those emotional walls come down. He feels better in himself and he’ll naturally begin to associate those good feelings with you.
And it’s all down to knowing how to trigger these innate drivers that motivate men to love, commit, and protect.
So if you’re ready to take your relationship to that level, be sure to check out James Bauer’s incredible advice.