How to make a narcissist fear you: practical tips, no bullsh*t

Having a narcissist in your life is a lot.

Narcissists are toxic people who drain us rather than help us grow. Everyone has met at least one narcissist, and maybe you are even unfortunate enough to have someone close to you fit those criteria.

If you have a narcissist in your life, things can get very toxic, very quickly.

To protect yourself, you can make this narcissist afraid of you, which will ensure that they will leave you alone for the most part.

The good news? I know just the things that can help you with that…

1) Don’t give them any attention

The best way to make a narcissist afraid of you is to not give them the attention that they crave from you.

You may think that showing this narcissist love and affection will make them change, but it won’t.

Narcissists don’t care about anyone but themselves, and even if you try to show them love, they will only see it as you trying to get something from them.

They love attention, and they will do anything to get it.

Don’t give them that attention, and they will leave you alone much faster.

This will also help you to keep your sanity while dealing with this person because it can be hard to remain calm while they are constantly trying to provoke you.

The thing is, narcissists literally feed off of attention, so their first reaction to not getting any from you will be panic.

They might start love-bombing you, or they may just flee from you.

Either way, you will win.

The thing is, a narcissist tries to make you dependent on them and their love, so when you ignore them or don’t give them attention, they will freak out.

In order to do that, you will have to be firm about your boundaries, which brings me to my next point:

2) Be firm and clear about your boundaries

Narcissists don’t respect other people’s boundaries, and if you don’t set them and are firm, they will cross them.

What are boundaries? Boundaries are the limits to what you are willing to accept in your life.

They are what you are and are not willing to tolerate from others, and every person should have them.

What are some common boundary issues with narcissists?

People pleasing, taking on too much, being talked down to, feeling disrespected, and more.

So what can you do?

If a narcissist is crossing your boundaries, you need to stand up for yourself.

You can do this in many ways, like saying this out loud, writing it down, or simply enforcing a boundary by withdrawing.

If you are in a relationship with this person, you can also bring up the fact that you have boundaries that they need to respect. They may not, but you can try.

The thing is, your boundaries will scare this narcissist because, in their eyes, they want to manipulate you to the point of you not setting any boundaries.

They want you to be dependent on them, and they will do anything in their power to make that happen. The ultimate goal of a narcissist is to get what they desire while making you feel bad about yourself.

This is why a narcissist will cross your boundaries when you try to enforce them: because it brings fear into their world.

To make this narcissist afraid of you, you need to stand up for your boundaries, which means that you can’t allow these people in your life anymore.

This will require lots of confidence, which I will talk about now.

3) Show them your confidence

Do you want to know the biggest reason why people end up with narcissists in their lives?

Narcissists feed off of people’s insecurities; they will try to get you to doubt yourself so that you will feel compelled to seek their approval.

When you aren’t a confident person, you are the perfect target for a narcissist.

Think about it: someone who is sure of themselves will not be easily manipulated, which is scary to a narcissist.

What can you do? Keep your head held high no matter what. There are a couple of ways to do this.

You can tell yourself positive affirmations like “I am confident” or “I am enough”.

You can also visualize yourself being confident.

You can also surround yourself with people who are confident and who will support you in being confident. This will also help you to build your own confidence.

The thing is, confidence will really help you with this. If you don’t feel confident, it can be hard to enforce your boundaries and set limits with this person.

They will try to push these limits and make you feel worse about yourself, so the only way for you to stand up for yourself is to feel confident.

What’s more is that if you are confident and are in charge of your life, it scares a narcissist away because they can’t use their manipulation tactics on you anymore.

This will allow you to truly stand up for yourself and say no to them, which is the next thing I wanted to talk about.

4) Say no and don’t be afraid to reject them

Narcissists are selfish, and they can’t understand why anyone else would do something for themselves if it doesn’t benefit them.

They don’t care about your needs or wants, they only care about themselves.

What can you do? Say no to them.

If they ask you to do something, and you don’t want to do it, say no.

If they’re trying to provoke you, remain calm and say no.

If they’re trying to manipulate you, ignore it and say no.

If they are asking you to do something, and you don’t want to do it, but you feel like you have to because it’s the polite thing to do, you can politely turn them down.

This is a great way to stop a narcissist in their tracks.

They will be expecting you to say yes because they are so used to it, so saying no will take them off guard and make them afraid of you.

You see, these people have weaseled their way through life and they are not used to ever hearing the words “no”. They may not like it.

The thing is, they may become angry at you, they might become hurt, or they might try to manipulate you again.

Don’t be afraid of their reaction.

Remember that your self-worth is not tied to the narcissist’s reaction.

If it is just one narcissist in your life, this will leave a good impression of you on them so that they will respect you more than if you say yes every time.

If you truly stand your ground, you might actually get this narcissist to fear you in a way that is good – they won’t want to use you as a doormat anymore.

So when you say no, do it with confidence and stick with it – don’t back down.

The thing is, this can be really difficult to do if your confidence is low and you tend to be a people-pleaser.

The way to overcome this is by thinking of a realistic consequence if you give in to them.

Like I said earlier, they won’t stop. Then, there will be another favor, another thing to do, another thing to help them out…and you will keep giving in.

You will always feel a sense of obligation to them, and this will make you feel bad about yourself because you’re not being true to yourself.

So if you give in to them, just think about the long-term effects it might have on your life and how it’s making you feel about yourself.

5) Hold them accountable for their actions

Do you want to know what a narcissist hates more than anything? Being held accountable.

If you feel like someone is constantly trying to provoke you, you can hold them accountable for their actions.

What can you do? If a narcissist is constantly trying to provoke you, you can try to ignore them, but that might not work.

You can also confront them, but that can make things even worse. Holding them accountable for their actions will help you to stop them in their tracks.

Holding someone accountable means that you confront them in a calm and mature way, while also expressing your boundaries.

It means that you say out loud that their behavior is unacceptable.

This is especially effective if you do it in front of other people who have just witnessed said behavior.

If this person is doing something that upsets you, make sure to mention it to others so that they know what’s going on.

This will really embarrass this person, and they will back off.

The thing is, narcissists are so used to people just letting them behave however they want, and people don’t hold them accountable for their actions.

So when you hold them accountable for their actions, they won’t be expecting it, and it will really throw them off.

When you then don’t shy away from doing that in front of other people, they will really lose it – they hate being called out like that.

But being held accountable is not the only thing a narcissist fears…

pexels ron lach 8889035 How to make a narcissist fear you: practical tips, no bullsh*t

6) Give them consequences for their behavior

If you really want to make a narcissist afraid of you, you can give them consequences for their behavior.

This is something they are not used to, and something that will make them truly fear you.

What can you do? When a narcissist has provoked you and you held them accountable for their actions, you can give them consequences for their behavior.

This can help you to put an end to the chaos that a narcissist brings to your life. You can give them a warning, a time-out, or you can even break up with them.

You can preface this with a warning the first time, but if it happens again, you actually enforce your consequence, like “Okay, I told you that this ways unacceptable, I’m going home now.”

Then, you could potentially just avoid giving them attention for a while in order to really enforce the consequence.

Once they realize that you’re serious, they will back off and they won’t try to provoke you anymore.

This is a really effective way to make someone stop bothering you, and some people would say that it means that you are being selfish and uncaring.

In reality, you are just standing up for yourself.

Actually implementing the consequences you have warned someone about in the past will make you seem more respectable and confident because you follow through.

It is something that a narcissist will be afraid of.

7) Expose their narcissism

If you feel like someone’s narcissism is a threat to your mental health, you can expose their narcissism.

What can you do? If a narcissist is constantly trying to provoke you, and you have tried holding them accountable for their actions, giving them consequences for their behavior, and they are still not letting up, you can try to expose their narcissism.

What does it mean to expose a narcissist? It means that you reveal their true colors to the people around you.

You let everyone know the kind of person they are, what they do to you, and what they have done to others.

This can be a very powerful thing to do, but you must be careful. You don’t want to be seen as an aggressive person, so make sure you are calm and collected before you do this.

I would also suggest you don’t do this behind their backs, but in the moment, when they are openly being a narcissist in front of other people.

Call them out on their lying, their manipulation, and their abusive behavior. Tell everyone that they are a narcissist and that you are sick of them.

You can also tell people that this person is trying to provoke you and that you choose not to take the bait – it’s more about standing up for yourself.

When it comes down to it, a narcissist really only wants control over the way other people perceive them.

So make sure to let everyone know how this person is treating you behind their back, how they manipulate others, etc.

Now, this can be really scary, which is why the next points are all the more important:

8) Have a strong support network to lean on

Having a strong support network can help you to make a narcissist afraid of you.

What can you do? If you have a strong support network, you will have people there to support you through the tough times and to help you through the tough moments with a narcissist.

If you have a narcissist in your life, you will need this support more than ever.

What does a strong support network look like? It is made up of people who will listen to you, understand what you are going through, and be there for you.

It is made up of people who you can trust, and who you can trust you.

The thing is, a narcissist loves to target people who are insecure and lonely because they are the ones who are most likely to get unhealthily attached to a narcissist.

A strong support network is what you need to help you get through this difficult time. They will be able to help you to stand up for yourself and to be patient with you because they care about you.

They will also be there for you when a narcissist finally gives up on trying to provoke you and starts respecting you.

In order to get to this point, however, you need to detach from them.

9) Detach from them, break the bond

If you have a narcissist in your life, you are likely attached to them in some way, whether it be a friendship, a relationship, or family ties.

What can you do? You must detach from them and break the bond between you two.

How do you do this? You end the relationship, end communication with them, and remove all physical and emotional ties that you have with them.

You need to do this before they break you.

You see, a narcissist feeds off of codependency and will use this bond against you in every way imaginable.

In order to stop that from happening, you need to find a way to detach.

Figure out why you are attached in the first place, and try to find a way to just remove the link between you and them completely.

Maybe you have been in an unhealthy relationship with this person for so long that you have become their friend, or maybe they have been manipulating or abusing you for so long that you are attached to them in some other way.

In either case, it is important that you detach because once they break the bond, they will be able to do whatever they want and there will be nothing to stop them from treating you any way they want.

Nothing will scare a narcissist more than realizing they are losing their hold on you.

10) Hold onto your own grip on reality

Lastly, if you want to make a narcissist fear you, you must hold onto your own grip on reality.

What does that mean? It means that you need to know who you are, what your values and boundaries are, and not be afraid to stand up for yourself.

You need to not let their toxic behavior affect your own mental health, and you need to not let others control your emotions.

You need to know that you are enough and that you don’t need a narcissist in your life.

The thing is, a narcissist is an expert at lying, cheating, manipulating, and gaslighting.

In the midst of all that, it can be difficult to hold onto your own grip on reality.

But if you know what’s best for you, and you know the difference between reality and a narcissist’s lies, then you can actually take back some control in your life.

They may try to make your life hell, but they are not going to win. In fact, the more they try to manipulate you, the more powerful you will become.

Final thoughts – hang in there

It’s difficult having a narcissist in your life, but I know that you can break free from this nightmare and take back your power.

If you follow the tips I outlined here, you will make a narcissist afraid of you in no time!

And the best part? You will learn valuable lessons about confidence and healthy boundaries along the way, which will hopefully teach you not to ever be around a narcissist again!

Good luck!

Picture of Anna Scheucher

Anna Scheucher

Freelance writer specializing in holistic health, wellness, and psychology. Check out my blog to find out more!

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