23 ways to let someone go that matters a lot to you

Even though we would all want to live in the perfect world where people would be considerate to us, love us, and help us grow, that is often far from reality.

Some of us are just plain unlucky to be in a fulfilling relationship, while others can’t seem to find someone who has the same interest as them.

Being the one left behind is never easy, no matter how much you try, but there are ways of letting people go that may make it less painful.

We have rounded up 23 things you can do when you know it is time for someone to leave your life for good.

1) Deal with the truth first and face your problems

You will feel a lot better if you do because your mind and heart will become clearer.

Give yourself time to process memories of the happy times you have had and see what emotions really came from that person’s actions.

Find out where his or her true character lies.

Be honest in the process so that your thoughts are clear, not clouded by hurtful words. It will be easier to move on.

Figure out what hurt you and what you could do to protect yourself from in the future.

2) Accept that things will never change and forgive him or her

If you do not accept the truth and continue to force yourself to stay in a “relationship” (or friendship) that is not working, you will be stuck with someone you are no longer in love with or care about.

Forgiving that person for being who he or she is, for his or her mistakes, faults, and shortcomings will make it easier to get over him/her.

All you have to do is to see this person as realistically as possible, and it will get easier for you to let them go eventually.

It can be a process because this phase will last, and it can take a while until you realize that it is better for both of you to part ways.

3) Move on

It’s your decision when you will move on with your life and when you will be ready to start a new relationship.

Some people need years to do it, some need months, and some even do it right after a very painful break-up.

Don’t push yourself too hard though.

You will be ready as soon as you feel like you have had enough of crying or lying in bed, staring at the ceiling.

Trust the process and take your time.

It will happen sooner or later.

4) Apologize for any wrongdoings you have caused and take responsibility for your part of the problem

Accepting responsibility for the things we do in our lives is the first step towards maturity and personal growth.

Hopefully, in your relationship with this person, there were times when you could have done better or said sorry before it was too late.

Take the opportunity to let them know how much you regret what you did and how it affected you and the other person.

The benefit of doing so is:

  • to be honest with yourself;
  • to be able to apologize without any hesitation or excuses;
  • to let yourself feel good about it. You deserve it!

Once you do it, you will notice that you feel lighter and better about yourself.

Moving on will be much easier if you are not burdened by guilt.

5) Decide what he or she meant for you and what it is you want in your life

It will be easier to let go if you do not get stuck on the past, looking back to see the person as a “good” person whom you are sad to lose.

Decide what he or she meant for you in your life and how being with that person made it better or worse.

Each person brings something new, and you can look at it as a blessing or a curse.

It is always better to stay open-minded and simply appreciate it as a new experience that has enriched your life in some ways.

6) Appreciate what you have now and focus on the positive

Focus on all the good things that are happening in your life.

Appreciate what you have for it will help improve your health and make you feel happier.

You will find it easier to let go with a lightened heart.

So, it all adds up to this – embracing the experience and seeing it as a valuable one.

Avoid feeling sorry for yourself and falling through a rabbit hole of despair.

Dwelling on it can turn into an obsession that makes you lose yourself in old memories.

Instead, embrace it and look forward to new things in your life.

7) Give yourself time and space to heal

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It is not easy to let go of someone who used to mean a lot to you.

This is the point where you will certainly feel lots of pain, and it is necessary to give yourself room to breathe.

Get over him or her before making any major decisions in regards to starting something new. Learn to live, breathe and feel again before moving on.

Friends and family can raise your spirits and help you move on.

It will also be easier to let go of your ex if you have a strong friendship with someone who can fill the void he once made in your life.

8) Spend time with family, friends, and loved ones

It is easier to let go when you have people you can lean on, especially in tough times.

Support from them can give you the strength to stand on your own willpower alone, knowing that you are not alone through the ordeal that is letting someone go.

They can also give you advice when needed and a shoulder to lean on whenever you need it.

However, make sure you don’t go overboard with it because sadness can be pretty overwhelming.

Take it one step at a time, and you will notice in time that things are getting easier.

9) Do things that make you happy and will distract you

It is easier to let go when you are doing something that makes you happy and engaged.

It doesn’t matter what it is, as long as it makes you feel good and happy.

Watch a movie, read a book, listen to music, play sports, or take up an interest that will occupy your mind.

The trick is to pamper yourself and your mind with anything that will help to distract you from what is bothering you.

You must be in the present moment and not lead yourself down a spiral of self-pity.

Keep busy so as not to think about that one person too much.

Do things that interest you and enjoy them without worrying or giving yourself too much importance over them.

10) Embrace the freedom

Once you are no longer tied down to someone who is controlling your life, be sure to embrace the freedom.

Go out with friends often; do things that bring you joy.

Enjoy your life and be happy that you no longer have to sacrifice your happiness for someone who is not worth it.

Being single has its perks, so don’t hesitate to explore its wonderful sides.

11) Recall the good times

You will be thankful for all the good times you spent with that person, and reminiscing about them can give you a good laugh.

Remembering how he or she made you feel when you were in a relationship will help ease your pain and make things easier to accept.

Remembering similar experiences will help you remember what it was like to be happy with this person.

12) Remember that you are valuable

When we need to part ways with someone we used to consider very valuable, we tend to take all the blame, which usually shakes our confidence to the core.

Remember to remind yourself that you are valuable and worth more than what he or she is making you feel.

He or she will never be able to give you what it is you deserve, which is why you must work on going on with your life, knowing that there will be better times.

Once you fully embrace your virtues, you will be able to find someone who will suit you completely.

13) Find a new life partner who makes you happy

If he or she doesn’t, don’t settle for him or her simply because he or she is available.

Be sure to find someone who makes you happy, someone that inspires you and brings out the best in you.

Embrace everything that has happened to you so you can learn from it and choose better when the time comes to move on and start something new.

14) Don’t hesitate to get back into the dating scene

Once you are ready, don’t be afraid to get back out there and meet new people.

Don’t shut yourself off from the world because you are worried that no one will love you.

Being yourself and comfortable with who you are can help attract the right people.

Be happy when you are alone and enjoy life’s pleasures.

Your experiences will help you to choose better next time around, and you will always remember the way it used to be.

The next step is to focus on what you can do to make your life better and the next relationship you will have with the right person.

Think of all the new things you want to experience that will contribute to making your life happy and fun, and go for it.

15) Let bygones be bygones and forgive yourself

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If you are being constantly reminded of the bad times you had with him/her, forgive yourself for not being able to change it, whether you stayed or left the relationship.

The painful experience of ending a relationship can be a valuable learning experience in life, teaching you certain things about yourself and relationships that will help you avoid it from happening again.

It can also encourage you to do better or live better.

Let bygones be bygones and forgive yourself for ever having been in a relationship (or friendship) that did not work out.

Sometimes people don’t stay together for whatever reason, and that’s okay.

Everything happens for a reason, and you will surely find yours when the time comes for it.

16) Never depend on another person to make you happy

When we fall in love or get close to someone who means a lot to us, we tend to give them too much power over our moods and wellbeing.

However, you should never depend on someone else to make you happy.

You must rely on yourself and what you have in your life, rather than depending on someone else to supply you with happiness.

If he or she is not capable of doing that, then let him/her go so that you can find the love of your life.

17) Don’t blame yourself for the problems

You are perfectly capable of making decisions and actions that make your life better.

Do not blame yourself for things out of your control, like someone breaking up with you or another person interfering in your relationship (or friendship).

We cannot always control what happens to us, since many times in life, things happen that we want or don’t want to happen.

All we can do is take action to fix these problems and move on.

18) Don’t talk behind their back

Keep in mind that you should never talk about him/her behind their back.

You should not gossip or speak ill of a person once you have let them go.

It shows that you have not let go and that you still have feelings for him/her when you gossip or talk behind his/her back.

Letting go means never looking back, so do not dwell on the past.

19) Don’t compare yourself to other people in a relationship

You should not compare yourself to other people in the same or similar relationships.

You are different, and that makes you a unique individual.

Do not let someone else’s happiness influence your life, as you will find your happiness when it is the right time for you.

In addition, strive not to get caught up in trying to “fix” things.

Once things have ended, do not blame yourself because things did not work out with him/her and try fixing things.

You should respect his/her decision and make your own life better by not dwelling on the past.

Simply put, don’t try to “save” the relationship anymore.

20) Don’t dwell on what you could have done

You should be proud of yourself for all of your accomplishments in life and remember that everything happens for a reason.

Do not dwell on what you could have or should have done – it will only serve to make you feel bad, and this is something you should never feel.

21) Make an effort to create a happy life

If you are able to live in a positive, happy way, it will help strengthen your self-confidence and encourage you to do better as well as avoid other negative situations in life.

Learning to create healthy connections with other people is the key.

22) Accept that this period is not going to be easy

We all have to go through the process of relationships ending and having to move on.

This is often the most difficult part of a relationship, although it does get easier as time goes by.

You will be able to move on and create a happy life, you just need to keep trying.

23) Perceive it as an opportunity to grow

If you can take something from this experience into your new life, it will help you grow as a person.

It is okay to let someone go if something is not right or if you no longer want to be in the relationship.

Learn how to connect with other people without getting caught up in a “hook-up,” and each experience will be an opportunity that will help you grow and succeed.

Final thoughts

Life is full of ups and downs, and it should be accepted as normal.

However, it is far from being easy.

If you used to love someone to your very core, it is perfectly normal to feel sad, hurt, and lonely.

Just remember that it is a part of life and not anything to be ashamed about or hide from.

If you are currently going through a break-up, don’t fret and think you will never find love again.

You will, and the best thing you can do is travel down the path of life with hope, happiness, and positivity – these will help you get through this difficult time in your life.

Focus on learning from this experience and let go of all the negative things that were holding you down.

Forgive yourself and turn to other people in your life.

The sun will shine again!

Picture of Azra Jovicic

Azra Jovicic

I am Azra Jovicic and I love writing about psychology and wellness. I am just trying to make the sense of the world and share with others the things I’ve found out.

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