9 clever ways to handle a lazy wife (useful tips)

I bet you’re here because you’ve got a lazy wife, right?

Well, today I’m going to tell you all about 9 clever ways to get your lazy wife back into the house. She might feel a little down and not want to do anything. But that’s no excuse!

Check out my list of tricks below and take action.

1) Do things together

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According to a study published in Psychology Today, couples are more likely to stick with their healthy habits if they participate in them together.

These habits include eating healthy food and exercising regularly.

Basically, it means that if you have a lazy wife she’ll be more likely to stick to your weight loss goals if you two go and work out together. Or, she’ll likely be more motivated to cook healthy dishes if you do them together.

This trick works even better when you ask her to make a bet with you. Set a wager on who’s going to lose more weight and make it worth something.

But don’t only take my word for that, just do things that work for you two.

2) Consider your long-term goals together

Sounds simple and obvious, but you’d be surprised how many couples forget about this important step.

If you don’t see eye to eye with your wife about future plans, then she’s not going to stick with it.

Don’t talk about chores as a thing you both have to do for a short period of time. Instead, make it a long-term change that you’ll live by together.

It makes the changes more meaningful and will give you something to work toward together. It also makes it more likely that your wife will follow through because she wants the same things as you do.

For example, if you both want to move out of your apartment and into a house, frame it as a future goal.

3) Let her help you with a task she likes to do

Fun fact:

If you let your wife do something she likes, she’ll be more likely to help you with stuff that she’s not particularly interested in.

If your wife loves to bake and you hate it, let her bake something delicious. In return, help her out with a chore she’s not too keen on doing.

That way, both of you will get something you like and will also stay motivated to help each other.

I know dealing with a lazy wife can be challenging.

But, if you manage to pull this trick off, it will really improve your relationship and make her feel needed. That’s not a bad thing at all!

4) Be gentle but firm

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Dealing with a lazy wife will make you want to get mad. But that’s not going to help anything.

It’s important to remember that your wife has a bad habit she wants to change. Don’t make her feel bad about it, just help her get motivated again.

But don’t let her forget what she’s doing and try not to pressure her into doing more than she feels like doing at the moment.

Here are a few tips to help you be gentle but at the same time, firm:

– Show her you care by being more attentive to her, especially when it comes to the small things.

– You could tell her how happy you are that she’s cooking for you again, or compliment her on how nice the meal looks.

Keep a little distance between you two and make sure to use your words sparingly. Don’t let her know what she should be doing or why.

– Remember that she’s not a child and she can decide for herself if she wants to help you out or not.

– Don’t pressure her into doing anything she doesn’t want to do. If she doesn’t feel like doing it, let it go.

– You could even offer something in return for her help, but make sure it’s something you’re both willing to do. So before you offer to do the grocery shopping, ask her if she would be happy with a nice dinner and maybe a movie together later this evening.

Just remember that it is important to help reduce your lazy wife’s stress levels, but don’t push too hard. If she doesn’t feel like helping you out, don’t be too hard on her.

5) Have an open chat about your feelings and expectations

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Maybe she doesn’t want to do anything, but she’ll be more motivated if you both talk about it.

A general rule of thumb is that if you’re not open enough and discuss your problems with your wife in-depth, then she won’t either.

So let’s take this one step further.

If you feel like you need to talk about the situation in order for it to improve, then make the first move by opening up to her.

The secret?

Try to find a way to draw her out of her shell by being positive and making her laugh

To put it differently: She’s not going to listen to you if she can’t relate to what you’re saying. So make sure you tell jokes, talk about things that make her feel good, or show an interest in the things she loves the most.

And if it feels better for her to talk about it instead of doing anything at all, let her do that. Don’t press too hard on it though!

But also keep in mind that you may need to give up on your expectations. If you do want to do something and she doesn’t, that’s OK. Simply sit back, relax and enjoy your time together instead of feeling disappointed.

6) Limit her screen time (TV, phone, social media)

One of the reasons why your wife might be lazy is your lack of quality time.

This doesn’t have to be the case, but if you do feel like she spends a lot of time in front of the screen (TV, computer, or phone) it could be that she’s not feeling as good as you think she does. Or that she’s not happy with her life at all.

In any case, you’re going to have a hard time getting her motivated to change if she’s spending too much time on her devices.

So just be sure to limit her screen time, especially if you feel like she’s not paying attention to you. And don’t feel bad about it at all.

Let me show you how to limit your wife’s screen time the right way.

If you’ve ever tried to tell your wife to spend less time on her phone, or any other device for that matter, you know that it can be frustrating.

But there’s a better way to do it without making her feel bad.

You can start small. Try taking her phone away from her for just 15 minutes a day, every day.

And then build on it by taking it away for even longer periods of time as much as you can.

Now, don’t feel like she’s not doing anything if she seems to enjoy herself while you’re gone, because she is.

7) Reward good behavior

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Of course, if you want your lazy wife to change, you’ll need to show her how good it feels when she does something right. Which is going to require some planning ahead of time.

One way you can let her know that she’s doing a good job is by rewarding her for little things, like putting the dishes in the dishwasher and making the bed every morning.

Or even more, by letting her know that she’s been doing a great job overall and rewarding her with a night out at the movies or dinner.

As much as she likes to feel like she’s helping you, don’t forget that it can be frustrating if she doesn’t feel like she’s getting anything in return for her efforts.

So make sure she knows that you appreciate the effort and then plan something special just for the two of you.

By doing this, you’ll be sending a message to her that helps her understand there’s more to life than working on little projects around the house all day long.

8) Plan date nights and vacations together

You might think this tip is a bit strange, but you will be surprised at how much it will help motivate her.

Let me explain:

By doing this, you’re telling her that she’s important to you and that you want to spend some time with her.

And the best thing is that she already thinks this way deep down, to begin with. So by asking her if she wants to go somewhere, you’re simply showing her how happy she already makes you feel.

This tip is also useful for getting your lazy wife more active around the house because it will make her feel like she’s contributing something positive to your relationship.

9) Take turns doing things on the weekend

Once a week, take turns doing things you both like.

For example, one weekend you could plan a hike together and the next weekend you could go out for romantic lunch downtown.

You can also make it even more fun by trying to create your own scavenger hunt around your neighborhood. The only rule is that you’ll both need to finish it in the same amount of time.

And how does that work?

After all, it’s hard to get motivated when your lazy wife has nothing left to do on the weekend and you have a lot planned.

So by taking turns, you’ll both have something to look forward to, which will help motivate her.

Final thoughts

We’ve covered 9 clever ways to handle a lazy wife that I hope you can take advantage of.

If you do, I guarantee that she’ll start working on her issues faster than you think possible. And that could be some major progress in a very short period of time.

But most importantly, keep in mind that there is no right or wrong way to handle your wife’s laziness.

All this advice is just a general guide and it’s completely up to you how you will do it. And I have to mention this again. The truth is, marriage is hard.

There are plenty of reasons to call it quits and give up, but only you know for sure if your marriage is worth fighting for.

And if it is, if you want to get back the love and commitment you once shared with your spouse, don’t give up just yet.

I mentioned Brad Browning earlier. His Mend the Marriage course offers practical, real-life advice that could help you revive your marriage.

Here’s a link to his video once again.

Before writing your marriage off, it’s well worth watching the video and learning where you went wrong, and how to rectify it.

Picture of Thảo Anh Nguyễn

Thảo Anh Nguyễn

It is the little daily things that make life worth living and I know how to put you in the right perspective. I write about the intersection of life and love: how spirituality has changed my relationships, what I do to cultivate love in my life, and why I believe that all relationships are spiritual. Meet all your needs for your relationship and pieces of life advice with my articles.

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