Life can be really, really hard.
Sometimes, it feels like you’re treading water in a huge ocean, and each kick barely keeps your head above the surface.
And those waves just keep coming, don’t they?
Why can’t life just give you a simple PAUSE?
While I can’t offer you a remote to pause your life, I can help you with 35 ways to get your life together.
The key is to regain some control.
Let’s figure out how.
How to get your life together
You need to be a partner with your life. You need to change from being reactive to active.
This means not just responding to things that happen to you but actually making things happen for yourself.
1) Organize your life
You gotta start with some life organization.
You may be asking: “why is life organization so important?”
Well, here’s the truth: if you want to make your life a happier one, then you need to be able to envision it. And once you envision your life, you need to make a plan to make that life a reality.
Organization is basically getting that plan in place, and then staying on top of it. That’s why it’s so critical.
It’s the skeleton of self-improvement. It doesn’t matter if you want to finally land that next big promotion, run that marathon, finally write that screenplay, or even take up sculpting.
Whatever it is, you need to get your dreams organized.
Find a system of organization that works for you, and then stick with it! It doesn’t have to look like what you “imagine” organization to look like (we all don’t need files and binders to keep on top of things), but it has to be a system that makes sense for you!
2) Be honest
If you’re gonna get your life together, you need to be honest with yourself and your family.
Quit bottling things up inside yourself. You need to allow yourself to say “this is enough,” or “I don’t want this.”
Or, on the flipside, you need to publicly identify things you do want.
When you feel something in your life that is going great, give yourself permission to voice that.
“I want this.” “I like this.” “This is the life for me.”
When you start giving yourself permission to be truthful with your own feelings, you get more in touch with yourself. When you’re more in touch with yourself, you start to learn what you want.
Once you know what you want, it’s only a matter of making that a reality.
3) But don’t ruminate
It’s one thing to be honest about things you don’t like. It’s another thing entirely to let negativity overwhelm you.
You can’t let yourself become bogged down in negative energy — be it about your own life, about things happening to you, or about things you’ve run across.
Stewing on negative thoughts is called ruminating, and it’s very damaging for self-growth. Why?
Because you’re focused on the past hurt, not the future solution. A bad thing happened! That’s ok! The real question is: what do you do about it?
4) Set some goals!
You’ve got your vision for your life, right?
Now, you need to figure out how to make that a reality. The best way to do that is to set a series of short, medium, and long-term goals that will help you achieve your dream.
Why short, medium, and long term?
Long-term goals are great because they keep your vision for your life front and center. Maybe your long-term goal is to write a novel — that’s amazing.
The problem is, sometimes the long-term goal is too daunting unless you chunk it up into smaller goals. That’s where your short and medium-term goals come into play.
A medium-term goal for writing a novel might be “I’ll have the first 40 pages in two months.” That’s a pretty attainable goal. Plus, once you achieve it, you’ll have a huge hunk of text completed.
Short-term goals take that step even further. “I’ll write a chapter this week.” Those are super attainable. They basically serve as mini check-ins for your long-term goal. If you complete 30 weeks of that short-term goal, you’ll have a book written in less than a year!
Look at you go!
5) Take care of your body
You only have one body. It’s a gift. You can only live through that one body. So, you need to treat it right.
Maybe your goal is to be VP of the company you work for. Maybe that goal requires doing a lot of extra work and staying late at the office.
That’s ok, but you still need to give your body the sleep, food, and exercise it needs to function. Otherwise, you won’t be able to enjoy the fruits of your labor.
Additionally, diet and proper exercise can be valuable mood boosters. If you’re not feeling very motivated or unsure of where to go in life, get up and get moving!
You’ll feel better and will have newfound creativity to tackle your problems.
6) Take care of your mind
Taking care of your mind is just as important as taking care of your body. Your mental health is critical for keeping your life on track.
Be in tune with yourself: is your lack of motivation perhaps a symptom of depression or anxiety?
If you’re perhaps suffering from mental issues, seeking help can be a great way to help get your life back on track.
7) Get rid of toxic friends.
You want to know something crazy? You can trap dozens of crabs in a single, open bucket. No lid, no slippery walls, no nothing. Why?
Because when one crab tries to climb out of the bucket, the others will pull it back down.
This is the same with toxic friends and family members. They’ll try and pull you back down. They prevent you from reaching your potential.
If you’re trying to get your life together, you need to closely examine all of the relationships in your life. Which ones are boosting you up? Which ones are pulling you down?
Figure out which ones are inhibiting you and take steps to reduce their pull.
8) Get into a routine
Building a routine (and sticking to it) is great because it helps you build habits. The question is: are these habits working for you or against you?
If your routine consists of getting up at 3:00 pm, watching YouTube tutorials while getting high, and laying on the couch until sleep takes you — then you’ve built in some habits which are working against you getting your life together (unless that’s your dream and you can make that happen, in that case: all power to you).
So if you’re looking to make a change, a good place to start is with your daily routine. Get into daily habits that will push your goals forward.
If your goal is to be a world-class musician, then starting with 30 minutes a day of guitar practice is probably a good place to start.
When you have a consistent routine, you complete your critical to-do tasks each day without thinking about it.
You brush your teeth twice a day, right? You just do. You don’t even think about skipping a day. It’s your routine.
When you repeat actions and tasks consistently (at the same time daily), they become second nature, meaning that you don’t have to fret about “will I get that done?” You will get it done because you get it done every day.
The trick, of course, is being disciplined enough to repeat these actions enough that they become your routine. You need to be disciplined enough to create long-lasting, positive habits.
It’s not an easy task. It’s not that hard to skip a few workout days early into your new exercise routine. Next thing you know, that gym membership has gone to waste.
There’s no magic trick to ensure that your routine sticks. Instead, you have to keep at it and try your hardest to get back into your routine — even after you’ve fallen off of it.
9) Stop searching for happiness
I’m not saying “be sad”. I’m saying that you should stop chasing after happiness like it’s some sort of drug.
You’re not “broken” simply because you’re not feeling euphoric all of the time. Instead, you’re human.
Humans are meant to feel a complex range of emotions. You need to embrace who you are, and the entirety of your emotional spectrum.
And you need to practice gratitude and self-appreciation. Whenever you feel happy, be grateful that you feel that way! Why?
Because happiness isn’t necessarily a default state. It’s both a gift and a perspective that we cultivate. As such, we need to take the time to be grateful for when our lives and our perspectives are aligned enough to give us these moments of bliss.
Check out Ideapod founder Justin Brown’s video on living an unconventional life by giving up on the pursuit of happiness.
10) Increase your willpower
There’s a famous experiment where researchers sat young children in a room with a marshmallow. It’s called the Stanford Marshmallow Experiment (good name, right?).
In the test, a child was offered one treat immediately but two treats if they could wait 15 minutes.
The children who were able to hold out for the better treat ended up having better SAT scores, BMI scores, and education attainment years later.
Point being: it pays to hold out a little. Instead of giving in to your “I want it now” voice, hold out for the better treat.
Instead of buying that awesome but very expensive TV you want right now, wait a couple of weeks until Cyber Monday and get that TV 25% off. Save some money!
When you resist giving in to your immediate desires, you can become an active planner in your own future. Which brings me to…
11) Be active, not reactive
I mentioned this earlier but it bears repeating: you need to be an active participant in your life.
You can’t simply respond to things that happen to you, just saying “yes” or “no” whenever life hands you a choice. No!
You need to be making those choices. You need to be getting yourself the outcomes you desire, instead of choosing between outcomes that someone else grants you.
This, ultimately, is a scary change to make, as it requires you to take responsibility for yourself and for your future. It also removes the excuse of “it’s not my fault — I just went along with it.”
No, when you’re active, you own your failures, and your successes. But it makes the successes so much sweeter — and so much more attainable!
12) Get to know yourself
This can be an entire journey on its own. Getting to know yourself is a key way to get your life together.
So what do I mean by “get to know yourself?” I mean become conscious of your own desires, wants, strengths, weaknesses, idiosyncrasies, thoughts, and passions to discover who you truly are.
It may not always be the happiest and most pleasant of journeys but I promise you that true self-discovery will help you live your life for yourself as opposed to living it for others.
Life is a gift, and it is given to each of us, for us. Your life isn’t someone else’s. It’s yours.
Take the time to discover who you are, and you’ll then figure out how to live it for yourself.
13) Set boundaries
Just like it’s important to cut toxic people out of your life, it’s also critical to put some boundaries up for those who you love (and those who you can’t stand).
You’re not a doormat. You’re a person. You have needs, wants, fears, and desires — like everyone else. As such, it’s important that you treat yourself the way you’d treat anyone else.
This means setting boundaries for yourself.
I have a colleague who refuses to do any work on Sundays. To her, Sundays are for three things: church, family, and the Buffalo Bills. She’s set boundaries.
Since she’s set these boundaries, she can enjoy her Sundays undisturbed. She’s happier for it.
Additionally, her coworkers and clients respect her boundaries. They know not to bother her on a Sunday, with the understanding that she’s available to speak the next day.
Figure out what days, times, locations, and activities are sacred. Then, take some steps to ensure that these are not disturbed.
You’ll be happier and will strengthen your values, as well as get insight into what things motivate you — helping you get your life together in the process.
14) Identify what things you can and cannot control
There’s an old prayer by Reinhold Niebur that says “grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.”
Getting your life together definitely involves internalizing this lesson. There are things that are outside of your control, as well as plenty of things that are surprisingly within your power to change.
Growth and maturity are being able to identify which one is which.
For instance, you probably can’t control the score of the football game by cheering more loudly from your living room (probably — I can’t make any guarantees). You can, however, control your reaction when your team loses.
You don’t control others, you control yourself. Learning this lesson is an incredibly important step in getting your life together.
Conclusion: Getting your life together is a process
There’s no magic bullet for how to get your life together. Instead, it’s a continual process that has to be done by methodically improving your life, step by step.
You aren’t going to magically wake up one day having gotten your life together. Instead, you need to focus on changing your perspective, setting positive habits, and setting yourself up for success.
Once you have reframed your life and set yourself up for success, you’ll be amazed at how much positivity you’ll see in your life.
It’s just a matter of getting started.