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21 no bullsh*t steps to get your ex-girlfriend back (that never fail!)

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Are you looking for a way to get your ex-girlfriend back?

Do you realize that you still love her or want to continue your relationship with her?

Don’t even try to deny it. You want her back as soon as possible. But the truth is, you’re not sure how to go about this.

So, if your relationship with your ex-girlfriend has ended and you want her back, it’s time to take some steps to make things right.

Here are 21 no bullsh*t ways to get her back – and they always work! You’ll never have to worry about her again, and she’ll be happy to know that you took the time to make things right.

1) Explore the reason why she broke up with you

I know what you’re thinking right now… “I don’t need to explore the reason why she broke up with me, I already know why.”

But think about it: if you knew the problem from the start, then how did it happen/why did you break up?

But that’s not the problem right now. Here’s the problem:

How will you be able to get your ex-girlfriend back if you don’t know what the problem is?

You have to be willing to look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself some hard questions. You need to take a long, hard look at your actions over the past few months or even years.

Maybe there was something that you did that contributed to her breaking up with you. It could have been as small as not calling her back after she texted you, or as big as having an affair with another woman.

What matters is that you recognize your mistakes and make sure that they never happen again.

If she broke up with you because of something that happened in the past, then make sure you’ve learned from your mistakes and moved on.

If you want to get your ex-girlfriend back, you have to ensure that she has absolutely no reason to break up with you again. You have to be willing to make it right.

2) Do not contact her for a while

Now this is probably the hardest part. I know how hard it is, but I also know how important it is that you do not contact her right now.

So here’s what you have to do: wait at least a month before contacting her again. You might think that waiting a month is too long, but trust me, it’s worth it!

Why am I so sure?

Because if you contact her right now, you’re going to be doing it out of desperation. And believe me, she will be able to tell.

But what if you contact her right now? Why is it wrong?

Well, if you contact her right now, she’s going to see that you’re willing to do anything – even beg – just to get her back. She’ll know that there’s nothing stopping you from doing whatever it takes to get her back.

And if she’s already moved on, then this is exactly what she wants! She doesn’t want a desperate man trying everything he can just so he can get her back.

She wants a man who knows how much he loves her and who is secure in the knowledge that he will succeed in getting her back!

Even more – that way she will only be more confused than ever and might even break up with you again.

I know this may seem a little unfair at first, but trust me, it’s for your own good. If you contact her too soon after breaking up with her, then she’ll think that all of your problems are caused by the breakup and not by yourself.

So, remember: she needs time to miss you and realize just how much she loves being with you. And that’s exactly how you will get your ex-girlfriend back sooner than you think!

3) Send her a quick message

Now that you have waited a month, it’s time to send her a quick message.

But what should it say?

Well, most of you already know the answer to this question: you should say something funny or witty. But most importantly, it should be something that will make her feel jealous.

If you’re feeling a little adventurous, try this “Jealousy” text

— “I think it was a great idea that we decided to start dating other people. I do just want to be friends right now!” —

Jealousy is a powerful thing; use it to your advantage. But use it wisely.

By giving your ex this text, you’re communicating to her that you’re actually wanted by others. We’re all attracted to people wanted by others.

By saying that you’re dating again, you’re pretty much saying that “it’s your loss!”

After sending her this text they’ll begin to feel attraction for you again because of a “fear of loss”.

I learned from Brad Browning, hands down my favorite “get your ex back” online coach.

Here’s a link to his free online video. In this video, he gives a number of useful tips that you can apply immediately to get your ex back.

4) Don’t make her feel guilty for breaking up with you in the first place

Let me explain something.

When a woman breaks up with a guy, she’s looking for one of two things.

Either she wants him to beg and plead for her to take him back… or she simply wants to have the last word and break his heart as much as possible.

In other words, she doesn’t want him to try and get her back! At least not right away. She needs time!

That’s why you shouldn’t contact her too fast.

You need to give her time to miss you and realize that she made a mistake.

If you’re too eager, then you’ll come across as needy and desperate, which is not attractive at all for women.

Think about it: if you were the one who broke up with someone, then wouldn’t you want them to “come begging” for your attention? Of course! That’s what every girl wants! So why not give it to them?

So just don’t make her feel guilty for breaking up with you in the first place. You’ll be better off letting her figure out why she really broke up with you in the first place. Then she’ll realize that she needs to be with you again!

It will only make her feel bad about herself – even if he doesn’t realize it! That’s why it’s important that you don’t try too hard to get your ex-girlfriend back right away (unless of course, she’s the one who broke up with you!)

Instead, let her know that you understand what she’s going through. Because of your understanding, you don’t want to be a burden on her.

Tell her that you don’t want to “hurt” her anymore and that she deserves to have fun and date other guys.

And trust me, this will actually help you get your ex-girlfriend back!

5) Don’t be too desperate

Believe it or not, you need to be able to act like you don’t care. If you’re too desperate, then she’ll think that you’re a “loser”.

If you want her back, then it’s important that you don’t act like you’re desperate. You need to be cool and confident, and if she sees that, then she might just take you back!

Why?

Because if you appear desperate she might think that you still want to be with her because you can’t get anyone else. And that’s not attractive at all!

Instead, if you act like you don’t care, then she’ll see that other girls are interested in you. It will make her want to be with YOU again!

And you know what else?

It’s important for her to know that there are other women out there waiting for YOU!

If she thinks that there are other girls out there waiting for you, then she’ll be more likely to take action and get back together with you because she doesn’t want to lose you!

So make sure that if your ex-girlfriend tries contacting you again (and I promise she will), then don’t tell her that all of your time is devoted to trying to get her back.

Remember: don’t be too desperate! You need to act like it doesn’t matter if she comes back or not. And then…she’ll come running back!

6) Be assertive instead of aggressive

You can’t just go up to your ex-girlfriend and start begging for her attention. Why so?

Women don’t like men who are needy and desperate, do they? Of course not!

They want an assertive man who knows what he wants and goes after it.

They want a man who is confident and doesn’t back down from any challenge. In short, they want a man who knows what he wants and doesn’t let anything stop him!

But how do you show that you know what you want?

By being assertive instead of aggressive.

What do I mean by “being assertive”?

When you’re assertive, it means that you don’t beg for things or try to control the situation. You know what you want, but you don’t go after it like a bull in a china shop!

Instead, assertiveness means that when she tries to refuse your advances, then she’ll be forced to think about it first…and then maybe accept your advances!

7) Let your confidence do the hard work

Ever wondered why confidence matters in relationships?

Because confidence makes women want to be with you.

It’s like the difference between a girl who is confident and one who isn’t: she doesn’t need to be as beautiful or intelligent… She just needs to be confident!

And you know what?

Being confident is something that takes time to develop.

The best way to get that confidence is by showing her that you have it already by being confident yourself.

I learned this from relationship expert Kate Spring.

As she taught me, confidence sparks something deep inside women that sets off instant attraction.

If you want to boost your confidence around women, check out Kate’s excellent free video here.

Watching Kate’s videos has been a game-changer for me. Because I know exactly how it feels to not get dates… to be searching for “the one”… to be stuck in a relationship that just isn’t working.

However, with Kate’s help, I’ve been with the sort of high-quality women I never thought possible. The confidence she has given me has helped me succeed in other areas of life too.

Here’s a link to Kate’s free video again.

8) Be her rock in times of need

How often did you try to help her in difficult times? Were you the one who was always there to listen and comfort her?

Or were you the one who was too busy trying to get her attention or trying to get her back?

See the difference?

If that’s the case, then I bet your inattentiveness was one of the reasons why she broke up with you.

So what can you do to get her back?

In simple words: be the rock that she needs.

It’s important that you can be there for her when she needs you. Otherwise, your ex-girlfriend will find someone else who is much better at it!

And you know what?

Your ex has a lot of feelings inside her and no one knows how they are going to react. But if there’s anything I’ve learned in my years of writing about relationships, it’s this:

If your ex wants to break up with you, then she probably needs someone to be there for her.

And just like that, you have your ex back without any effort!

9) Don’t be too clingy

You know what it’s like when you’re too clingy?

It’s like you’re so afraid of losing her that you don’t let her go.

But what do I mean by “too clingy”?

I mean that

  • You’re always calling and texting her, even if she doesn’t want to talk to you or see you.
  • You’re always trying to get her attention by doing things like buying expensive gifts or taking her out.
  • You constantly try to get your ex-girlfriend back… even if she says no!

Does this sound familiar to you?

If it does, then you need to change this.

You need to learn the art of letting her go.

It’s like there’s a magnet in your ex-girlfriend that draws her back to you. And you know what?

It’s your ex-girlfriend’s deepest desire for you to try and get her back. So don’t be afraid of letting her go!

She will come back to you when she is ready, and not before that!

And the best way for this is to avoid being too clingy. So, try not to be too clingy with her.

10) Express your feelings

How good are you at expressing your feelings to your ex-girlfriend?

Are you good at it, or are you bad at it?

It’s important that you know how to express your feelings to her. Why?

Because otherwise, she will never feel how much she means to you. She will never realize that she was a big part of your life and that without her, you’ll be completely lost.

And the last thing I want is for you to be lost without her!

The truth is that if your ex-girlfriend broke up with you because she doesn’t feel loved anymore, then I can guarantee that she feels abandoned and unloved.

And when you don’t express your feelings and emotions, then they turn into resentment.

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And you know what?

Resentment is the most toxic of all emotions! Because it makes her feel bad about herself and it’s not good for a relationship.

That’s why expressing your feelings is so important.

If you can master this skill, then I guarantee she will never want to leave!

11) Pull away a little bit

I know this might sound a little weird, but it works!

In fact, pulling away a little is absolutely vital if you want to keep your ex-girlfriend.

Why?

Because when you pull away from a little, then she will feel that she’s not the only one who wants to be together anymore. And this makes her feel loved and wanted by you.

But remember: you don’t want to pull away too much. Because that will make her feel as if you don’t love her anymore.

But by pulling away, you’ll be giving her the chance to realize how much she means to you.

And then she will realize how much she needs you in her life and that she needs to come back to you, even if it’s just for a little while.

So, the best thing you can do is to pull away a bit yourself.

It’s a psychological fact that when we fear we’re going to lose something, we want it 10x more.

This is where “nice guys” get it so wrong. Women have no “fear of loss” with a nice guy… and that makes them pretty unattractive.

If you want your girl to become obsessed with you, then check out this excellent free video.

What you’ll learn in this video isn’t exactly pretty — but neither is love.

12) Be a man of his word

If you want to keep your ex-girlfriend, then you need to be a man of your word.

And I don’t mean that in any way other than the way I mean it.

Because if you’re not a man of your word with her, then she will know that you’re not reliable. And she’ll be able to see right through you.

But if you are a man of your word, then she will start thinking that there’s no reason for her to break up with you.

Because if there’s something important enough for you to break your promise, then she can trust that it’s going to happen 100% of the time. And this is what makes her feel loved and wanted by you.

Let me explain.

Suppose you’re a man and you’ve committed to love and cherish your girlfriend forever. You promise her that you’ll always be there for her, no matter what happens.

But then she decides to break up with you? How do you react? What do you say?

I can tell you exactly how to react in this situation. It turns out that being a man of your word is very important when it comes to relationships!

But if you react negatively to her breaking up with you, then she will start to see you as a guy who’s always going to be around. And that will make her feel less attracted to you.

So, men – please remember: being a man of your word is extremely attractive when it comes to relationships!

13) Don’t be too nice

Nice guys are a dime a dozen.

But you know what?

Being too nice is just as bad as being too mean.

A woman will trust you more if you’re nice to her, but she’ll also respect you even more if you’re not too nice to her.

But a lot of nice guys go too far in the other direction and become “too mean” with their partners.

And this is a mistake that a lot of women make when they break up with guys like this. Because it makes them think that he’s not going to be there for them in the future. And that’s a huge deal for some women!

And here’s the problem with being too nice: she thinks you’re weak, which is not good for a relationship. And this is really bad, because if she thinks you’re weak then she will want to leave your relationship.

Because who wants to be with someone who can’t stand up for themselves?

And what’s worse?

If she thinks you’re weak, then she will also see you as a guy who can’t take care of himself. And that’s not good for a relationship in the long run.

14) Don’t be too predictable

Predictability is what keeps the relationship going. But it’s also what makes a relationship boring.

Let me explain.

A lot of women are looking for men who are unpredictable and exciting in their relationships.

And they want their relationships to be exciting because they want to feel like they’re the only ones who can make their guy happy!  (Some women even believe that if you’re too predictable, then you’re not a “real” man.)

So, this is why women love men who are unpredictable and exciting in their relationships!  And this is exactly why some women break up with guys who are too predictable!

Because it makes them feel like they’re not the only ones who can make him happy anymore!

But when a woman breaks up with you simply because you’re too predictable, then you know what that means?

That she’s not going to stick around for the long haul!

And that’s just not good for a relationship.

15) Understand her priorities in the relationship

A lot of guys think that their girlfriend’s priorities in the relationship are all about them.

But in reality, she might just want to be with someone who will take care of her.

And if she does, then you need to make sure that you’re going to make her feel good about herself and make her feel like she’s the only one who can “make” you happy.

And this is why it’s important to realize that her priorities in the relationship are about her.

If you can understand what she wants from the relationship, you’re much more likely to get her back.

This goes back to what I mentioned earlier – understanding women isn’t tough, it just takes someone who knows to show you the way.

And that person is relationship expert Kate Spring.

In this free video, you’ll learn exactly how to attract the woman of your dreams with Kate’s effective techniques.

Whether it’s working on your confidence or learning some of the best-kept secrets about women, you’ll learn a few techniques that’ll certainly improve your chances with your ex-girlfriend.

Here’s a link to the free video once again.

16) Take your time and work on yourself

A lot of guys get hung up on the fact that they’re not good enough for their girlfriends. And that’s a mistake.

Because you know what? She might just want to take care of her needs.

And that’s why you need to work on yourself first. Because if you don’t work on yourself first, then it’s going to be really hard for her to respect you and like you when she sees your progress.

This is why it’s important for women to see their progress over time!

By working on yourself first, then it will be easier for her to respect and like you when she sees your progress over time. And this is a huge deal because a lot of women don’t want to stick around for the long haul if their guy isn’t working on himself first.

So, if you’re not working on yourself first, then it’s going to be really hard for her to respect and like you when she sees your progress over time.

And that’s a really big deal because… A lot of women don’t want to stick around for the long haul if their guy isn’t working on himself first.

And guess what? That’s exactly why you should spend time on personal growth. And also, that’s another tip to get her back!

17) Remind her reasons why she liked you in the first place

I know this sounds a little corny, but it’s true.

What I mean is that you should tell her how she made you feel. You should remind her how your relationship started and why she was attracted to you in the first place.

And this is a good way to get her back because it will remind her why she liked you in the first place. And that’s a huge deal because as time goes by, sometimes we forget why we liked someone in the first place.

As we learn new things about one another, we become more and more detached from the past and we stop remembering why we liked that person in the first place. And this is a really big deal because it will make it harder for her to get back with you.

So what is it all about?

If she doesn’t remember why she liked you, then she’s going to be less attracted to you and it’s going to be really hard for her to get back with you.

And this is why it’s important to remind her why she liked you in the first place. And also, this is another way to get her back!

18) Try to become her friend

I know what you think right now. You want to be her boyfriend and not her friend.

And that’s a huge mistake. Why?

Becoming her friend will help you get back to her and it will take time, but it’s worth it.

And what I mean is that if she doesn’t want to be your friend anymore, then she’s not going to be your friend in the future and you’re going to lose her forever.

But friends are close to each other, right? That’s why I consider being friends as a no bullsh*t  way to get her back.

So, if you want to get her back, then try becoming her friend!

19) Be more attractive than before

Let me guess. You don’t know why you should become more attractive than before.

After all, she liked you as you were back then. But if she broke up with you, then she doesn’t really like you right now, does she?

That’s exactly why you should become more attractive than before. But how can you do this?

Just change your habits and lifestyle. Just as you can change your clothes and hairstyle, you can also change your lifestyle.

True, this may not be easy or straightforward at first, but with time it will become more manageable and effortless.

Just remember that making small changes regularly – even if they seem insignificant – is key to attracting your girlfriend once again.

And this is a good way to get her back because it will remind her how attractive you used to be. And that’s a huge deal because it will make it easier for her to get back to you.

20) Ask her friends to help you win her back

Do you have any idea how much depends on the friends of your girlfriend? Well, it’s literally everything.

Whether you like it or not, that’s the fact! Your girlfriend’s best friends play a big role in your relationship.

That’s why you need to ask her best friends to help you win her back.

And the more friends she has, the more important they are to her. And if you want to get her back, then you should try to ask them for help.

Be specific and ask them to do something for you:

  • “Can you send me a message for her?”
  • “Can you tell her that I miss her?”
  • “Can you ask her out on a date? “
  • “Can you invite me to your party?”

The possibilities are endless and they are all going to make it easier for your girlfriend to get back to you.

Just don’t forget to be polite with her friends and show them how much you love her.

21) Tell her that you love her and make it public

Let me finish with the most efficient and no bullsh*t way to get your ex-girlfriend back.

One of the best ways to get her back is to tell her that you love her and make it public.

You may not believe this, but she will definitely be impressed by this move. And that’s a good reason why she will want to get back to you.

Why?

Because openly saying that you admire her will make her realize that there’s nothing holding you back to get back to her.

And that’s the best way of saying that you miss her and that you are willing to change your bad habits and lifestyle for her.

That’s a huge deal because it will make it easier for her to get back to you.

So what are you waiting for?

Choose the right place, gather people, and make it happen!

Sealing the deal

So now you know the best way to get your ex-girlfriend back, but there’s one last thing that you need to do: seal the deal – show her she’s the only woman you’re attracted to!

This all relates back to the incredible advice I learned from Kate Spring.

I mentioned her earlier, she’s transformed dating and relationships for thousands of men.

One of the most valuable things she taught me was this:

Women don’t choose the guy who will treat them the best. They choose guys they are deeply attracted to at a biological level.

Women don’t like assholes because they’re assholes. They like assholes because those guys are confident and they give off the right signals to them. The sort of signals a woman can’t resist.

What if I told you that you could quickly learn the right signals to give to your ex-girlfriend—and you absolutely don’t need to become an asshole in the process?

Check out this free video by Kate Spring.

She reveals the most effective method I’ve come across to make your ex-girlfriend obsessed with you (whilst remaining a good guy).

How this one revelation changed my love life

It’s Justin Brown here, the co-founder of Ideapod, and I have something to confess…

I used to believe I needed to be successful before I deserved to find someone who could love me.

I used to believe there was a “perfect person” out there and I just had to find them.

I used to believe I would finally be happy once I found “the one”.

What I now know is that these limiting beliefs were stopping me from building deep and intimate relationships with the people I was meeting. I was chasing an illusion that was leading me to loneliness.

If you want to change anything in your life, one of the most effective ways is to change your beliefs.

Unfortunately, it’s not an easy thing to do.

I’m lucky to have worked directly with the shaman Rudá Iandê in changing my beliefs about love. Doing so has changed my life forever.

Now, Rudá’s teachings can change your life, too.

As the co-founder of Ideapod, I’m in a unique position to be able to bring Rudá’s teachings to our global community.

We do this by promoting his masterclasses.

One of the most powerful masterclasses he has is the love and intimacy masterclass. In this class, Rudá breaks down his key lessons on cultivating healthy and nurturing relationships in your life.

Thousands of people have already let me know that this masterclass has changed their love lives for the better.

==> Check it out here.

Best wishes,
Justin Brown, Ideapod Founder

Written by Nato Lagidze

Nato is a writer and a researcher with an academic background in psychology. She investigates self-compassion, emotional intelligence, psychological well-being, and the ways people make decisions. Writing about recent trends in the movie industry is her other hobby, alongside music, art, culture, and social influences. She dreams to create an uplifting documentary one day, inspired by her experiences with strangers.

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