15 ways to get your ex back when they have moved on and hate you

Are you miserable and desperately trying to get your ex back?

You might have said and done things that caused the relationship to break down or vice versa.

Point is, you want them back and you’re trying to figure out how.

This article reveals 15 ways to get your ex back even if they’ve moved on and hate you.

Let’s dive in.

1) Be honest with your ex about why you broke up and apologize.

If you have wronged your ex-partner in any way, be honest with them about it.

Don’t try to sugar-coat anything that you were wrong about.

Be honest and when they ask questions, answer truthfully. Your ex will appreciate an honest person more than someone that lies to their face.

The key here is to be sincere and completely lay all cards on the table.

Use phrases like, “I’m sorry for what I did,” or “I should have done this but I didn’t.” It is important that you come clean.

Remember, starting over requires a clean slate and it’s important to help build a solid foundation of trust.

2) Make amends for what you did wrong.

Similar to the point above, making amends requires far more than a sincere apology.

If you have wronged your ex, try to make amends for the mistakes that you made. This is very important if your relationship was destroyed by cheating.

It’s going to take time for them to trust you again and you’re going to have to help them recover from the situation as well help them feel more secure and help you move on.

If your relationship ended for other reasons like, you took them for granted, or didn’t value them as much as you now realize you should have, your actions are going to speak louder than words.

You’re going to have to dig deep and show them that you’re ready and willing to put them first.

3) Show that you are a different person and have changed over time.

If you have changed and have become a different person then show your ex that you are not the same person that they broke up with before.

Be the change.

Don’t try the same thing over and over again expecting different results.

Change your ways and show (not tell) them that you’re a new, improved version of yourself.

But what if you find it hard to express yourself and show that you’re a different person?

Something that helped me to overcome a similar situation was speaking to a professional relationship coach from Relationship Hero.

In fact, I wanted to prove that I was different but I couldn’t find the strength in myself to do so. However, a certified coach I spoke to gave me unique insights and helped me realize the changes I experienced during that time.

As a result, I effectively communicated with my ex. So maybe you should try the same.

Click here to get started.

4) Plan for your future together.

It can be hard to get your ex back if you don’t have a common goal or if you don’t agree with each other on future projects.

Establish goals that you both want to accomplish together, this is a great way of showing your ex that you care and that they are important to you.

Think about a few things that you will do every day to help each other get closer together.

This will make the relationship feel more practical and real as opposed to being purely sentimental.

5) Write a good old fashioned letter

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Pen and paper necessary!

The “Letter” to ex is a traditional method of trying to get back into someone’s good graces.

It originates from old-fashioned letters and was used in the past when people had to be more formal in their communications with loved ones.

In this letter, you’ll have the perfect opportunity to say whatever you want to say, since it’s not a conversation and therefore not subject to the same casual conversation rules.

This method is useful when you want to make sure that your ex reads the letter.

Letters also tend to be more emotional, as compared to an email or text message.

The “Letter” to ex allows you to put things out in the open and get closure.

Also, you can’t beat the physical aspect of paper over a computer screen or phone; it’s another way of showing that you’re serious about what you’re saying because you’ve taken the time and effort to put it in writing.

6) Don’t obsess over them.

Remember Glen Close in Fatal Attraction?

You’re not going to want to be a bunny boiler, so stop obsessing about them.

Sending thousands of text messages, calling, and following them around is going to make you look like you belong in a mental asylum.

Even if you are normally the most level-headed person in the world, do not succumb to your emotions and let them get the best of you.

If you learn one thing from this, it should be: Tread lightly.

Don’t stalk your ex-partner on social media. You’ll save yourself a lot of time, frustration, and embarrassment.

Once you start doing that, it’s impossible to stop.

Before you know it, your social media account becomes an archive of stalking your exes and you’ll find yourself checking profiles for no apparent reason more than once every minute.

On top of that, your friends may notice and think you’re a bit creepy.

7) Have a life without them in it.

Even if your relationship was amazing and you never had trouble thinking about anything else but them, it is important that you have a life that is as fulfilling and exciting as possible now.

If you don’t do this, they are going to think they are the most important person in your life and they will take advantage of it.

Take a break from trying to get them back.

This is not going to be an overnight fix, in fact, it could take a few weeks or months, some may take a year or more.

The bottom line is that for you, it will take time to show them how much you really care and how badly you want to make things right.

You’re going to be patient and persistent.

8) Do something special for your ex.

One of the main reasons that relationships fail is that people stop treating each other like the special individuals that they are.

If you want to get back with your ex-partner, you’re going to have to do something really special for them and show them how much they’ve been missing out on.

Don’t take this lightly though; it’s not as easy as it sounds!

This can be a holiday gift, an extra-special meal cooked, or handmade jewelry by you.

Don’t be afraid to be creative (it doesn’t have to be expensive) and an effort.

Be sure that what you choose to do is meaningful and that it has some sort of significance for the both of you.

Remember, this is your last chance to show them how much you care!

9) Don’t go blabbing your mouth.

Keep things private and don’t let other people know that you’re going to try to get back with your ex.

Chances are you’ll have mutual friends who might let slip what you’re trying to do.

If you want to get back with your ex and are sure that they still like you, try keeping things private.

If you run your mouth and things don’t work out the way you had hoped, you might feel like an idiot.

Don’t make the same mistake I did; keep things private and don’t let it show on your face!

10) Have a game plan to get back together.

Two of the most important things. 1.) Persistence, 2.) a thick skin.

Remember that there’s no such thing as failure when it comes to love.

It’s not going to be easy so don’t give up! If you want to get back with your ex, you have to have a game plan in place and make sure that you follow it closely.

The rule of thumb is that if something doesn’t work the first time, try something else.

If you want to get back with your ex and are sure that they’re still interested, put a plan together.

You’re never going to know if you can get them back until you try.

If it works out, then all the pain and suffering will have been worthwhile.

11) Take the blame, all of it.

Yes, it’s going to be tough.

Not everything was your fault but if you really want them back, especially if they “hate” you, you’re going to have to man up and accept the blame for everything that went wrong.

On that note…

Don’t blame other people for your problems.

This is very important.

Looking back on what went wrong, don’t use others as a scapegoat or point fingers. Blame shifting only makes things worse and it shows that you’re not quite mature enough to start over.

Show that you’re accountable and that you’re taking responsibility.

12) Get advice from other people who have been through this before.

You might think that you’re alone and that no one else can relate to what you’re going through, but you’re horribly wrong.

You need a trusted adversary to help guide and mentor you.

Sure, finding someone who’s been through this can be difficult because they might not want to tell you what’s going on.

However, there are other ways and means.

You know that thing we have called the internet.

There are thousands of online forums like Quora, Reddit, and other platforms where you can seek out some great advice.

13) Be persistent

I’ve mentioned this before but I cannot stress this point enough.

You’re going to have to grow thick skin.

She might ignore you, she might send you hate mail or she might block you.

The point is you’re going to have to plod on and be persistent.

You’re not going to be successful on the first try or even by the second, third or fourth.

So don’t give up because you’re bound to get what you want if you keep trying.

14) Don’t let your pride get in the way.

When all else fails, humble yourself.

Be honest and let them know how incredibly special they are to you and what it would mean to have them back in your life.

Tell them that losing them was the worst mistake you’ve ever made and that you will do everything in your power to make things right again.

Wearing your heart on your sleeve can be incredibly effective and might just soften that hateful heart.

15) Keep your emotions in check.

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You know the saying, check yourself before you wreck yourself!

You need to be calm, cool and collected, and don’t let your emotions get the better of you.

Showing up at their workplace unannounced, sobbing, and wailing about how much you love them is not going to have the same effect of showing up and calmly explaining that whatever happened between you, you’re still in love and want to work it out.

You’re going to be resilient, especially when they throw daggers saying things like they hate you.

Remember, this is not a quick fix and if you really want her back, you’re going to have to go to the ends of the earth to get them back.

What are the signs that they’re ready for reconciliation?

Well, there are some obvious signs and then there are other signs that can be a little bit more subtle but still important and meaningful.

So let’s take a look at some of the obvious signs that your ex wants to be back with you.

They text you back.

This is a good sign that your ex wants to be back together with you.

If your ex starts responding to your text messages and they want to keep talking to you that’s a really good sign.

They want to meet up with you.

This is another obvious sign that your ex wants to be back together with you.

If your ex has been avoiding you or if they’ve been trying to avoid you, this is a good sign because it shows that they’re comfortable being around you.

They stop ignoring you.

This is a good sign that your ex wants to be back together with you.

They might have been ignoring you before but now they’re trying harder to talk to you.

In fact, you’re even starting to get text messages from them without seeing the first one.

This is a very positive sign that they’re warming up and are probably mulling over the idea of the both of you sitting down and talking things out.

They drop the “attitude”.

Your ex has transformed from a sarcastic, venom-spewing serpent into a soft and serene angel.

You’re no longer fighting but are speaking constructively and civilly.

This is a good sign that your ex wants to be back together with you.

Now that they’ve seen that you’re willing to do what it takes to make them happy, they’ll likely be more compliant and the anger that was initially breaking down all communication will vanish.

They break up with their rebound.

To help heal and deal with what you put them through, they might have hooked up with a random person.

But, since you’ve been working your magic, this person is ancient history! So, if they’ve ditched the “rent-a-date” it’s a very positive sign that it’s a matter of days or weeks before you’re back together again!

Subtle signs that your ex wants you back

Now let’s talk about the signs that can be a little bit less obvious but still significant and important.

They start dropping hints.

Your ex will drop little hints or they’ll do things that imply that they want you back together with you.

They might start to text you and then stop in the middle of a conversation, leaving you wondering what they were going to say.

They might say something like “How do you think things are going to work out between us?”

Asking this question can be considered a hint since they’re indirectly asking you if you want to get back together.

They start doing small things for you.

Your ex might make small gestures of reconciliation such as buying your favorite food or picking up a gift that makes you smile.

This is a good sign that your ex wants to be back together with you.

Your ex might be thinking of coming to terms with their mistake and they’re trying to make amends- they want things to work out between you.

They start making an effort and going out of their way at the same time.

This is a good sign that your ex wants to be back together with you.

Your ex might be viewing your relationship more favorably, they’re realizing that you still share a lot of love, and they want to rekindle the flame.

They want to spend more time with you.

They want to set aside some time for you so they can just talk and get to know one another again.

Your ex might be missing the fun that you used to have together when things were simpler.

They want to brush off the cobwebs and get back to the old times.

They also might reach out to you during a time when they’re really missing you.

This is a good sign that your ex wants to be back together with you.

They might be thinking about their lonely nights and they want someone special in their life again.


So there you have it.

I hope this article has provided you with some great tips and advice on how to put together a top-notch game plan to get your ex back, even if they’ve moved on and they hate you!

Just imagine! It’s a win-win situation for both of you.

Picture of Lyndol Lyons

Lyndol Lyons

The business of life is the acquisition of memories. In the end, that's all there is. Writer, spiritualist, mom. Tolerant of people, but prefer animals. Owner of 346 cats in a previous life.

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