When you’re just getting to know someone, it can be hard to tell where their intentions lie.
Even if you have your guard up, you might find yourself going out on dates, texting back and forth, or even letting things get physical and falling in love.
Needless to say, it sucks when you realize that the guy was just leading you on the entire time.
But don’t worry, here are 15 tips on how you can deal with that:
1) Don’t dwell on the past
It’s easy to get caught up in wondering what you did wrong and what you could have done differently.
But don’t dwell on the past or you’ll only hurt yourself more. It’s true that you have to learn from your mistakes, but constantly focusing on what went wrong will only bring you down.
Instead, try to focus on how you can be better next time.
It’s important to remember that you can’t change the past, but you can definitely change the future.
You see, if you constantly replay what happened, you’ll get stuck in negative emotions.
When you think about the past, you’ll feel sad and depressed.
But when you think about how to move on and move forward, you’ll feel hopeful and excited for your future.
Sure, you need some time to grieve, especially if you already caught feelings for this guy, but trust me, at some point you want to stop dwelling on the past.
Think about it: is he worth it that you lose even more energy and happiness over him?
I don’t think so.
2) Block and delete
If he’s being a jerk and harassing you, it’s time to block and delete him.
Don’t let him drag you down and don’t give him any more than he deserves.
You don’t have to explain why you did it. Just do it.
It’s easier than you think and blocking and deleting him will get him out of your life for good.
If you want to, you can also change your number so he can’t contact you.
But you don’t have to wait for him to be a jerk to do this.
You see, in my opinion, this might be the best way to go about this.
Block his number right away or delete his contact info to stop yourself from getting hurt.
The thing is, if you have his number, you might be tempted to reach out to him again in a moment of weakness, for example when you are drunk.
So, if you know his number, it’s best to block it for good.
Blocking and deleting him is the best way to deal with this.
He leads you on, so you want to get over him as quickly as possible, and there is no better way to do that than to go no-contact.
The no-contact rule is simple: don’t talk to him, don’t share any personal information, and don’t respond to any of his messages.
If he tries to contact you, ignore him.
This will help you move on faster but also keep your emotions in check so you won’t get hurt.
Trust me, with everything he did, this is your best bet right now.
3) Get advice specific to your situation
While the points in this article will help you deal with a guy leading you on, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.
With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice tailored to the specific issues you’re facing in your love life.
Relationship Hero is a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people navigate complex and difficult love situations, like getting led on after a while of dating.
They’re popular because they genuinely help people solve problems.
Why do I recommend them?
Well, after going through difficulties in my own love life, I reached out to them a few months ago.
After feeling helpless for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my past relationship, including practical advice on how to overcome the issues I was facing.
I was blown away by how genuine, understanding, and professional they were.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice specific to your situation.
4) Find activities that make you happy
Find activities that make you happy and not depressed.
Speaking of depression, if you’re struggling with that, you may want to talk to a doctor.
This guy may have just ruined your mood and it’s okay to take a breather.
Try to get back to things that make you happy as soon as you can.
Going to yoga, seeing friends, and doing things you love are great ways to take your mind off the guy who leads you on and get back to a more positive place.
You see, I get it, when you go through something like this you might not feel like doing anything, and that’s okay, you can give yourself some time.
However, after a while, you need to get yourself back out there and start having fun again.
Try to see if there is anything that you have always wanted to do but never had the time for.
Maybe you’re not doing anything that makes you happy, or maybe it’s something you have always wanted to try.
Whatever it is, do that thing! Start enjoying yourself again and don’t let your emotions dictate your life.
Once you do, you will be so happy for having finally found your spark in life again.
5) Don’t be afraid to be alone
It’s okay if you’re not ready to be in a relationship right away. Sometimes, the best thing you can do after a break-up is just to be alone for a bit.
Find out what makes you happy, what you like, and what you don’t like.
Don’t be afraid to spend time alone while you figure out who you want to be.
You’ll appreciate the time even more once you let the right person into your life.
You see, a lot of people are scared of being alone, but there is no need to be afraid.
They need to figure out who they are, what they like and don’t like, and what they want in a partner.
They need to find themselves again and not be afraid of being alone.
You’re only alone when you want to be.
And there is a big difference between being alone and being lonely, you know?
6) Solidify what you want in a partner
Break-ups are great times to do an inventory of what you want and don’t want in a partner.
You may have wanted to date this guy at one time, but now that he’s hurt you, you know what you want and don’t want.
He may have had a few of the qualities you wanted in a guy, but now that he lead you on, you know what you don’t want.
Think about things like his personality, his values, his interests, and what you want your relationship to look like.
You may not have known about these things before, but now that he leads you on, it’s good to know what you don’t want.
You see, even though it might not feel like it, breakups can be really great sometimes.
They teach us a lesson – sometimes a good one and sometimes a more difficult one to process.
Either way, this is a great time for you to realize what went wrong and what sort of red flags this guy was sending you.
You’ll quickly realize that this guy wasn’t the right one for you and that you need to find someone who is better suited for you.
At least now you have the necessary experience to spot this type of guy in the future.
7) Take your time before moving on
After everything is said and done, you need to take your time before moving on.
Try not to rush things and don’t let the guy who leads you on the pressure you into finding someone new right away.
After everything settles down, find yourself again, and don’t rush into anything.
Find out what you want, what you don’t want, and put yourself first.
I know, some people love to dive head-first into a new relationship to distract themselves from their pain but don’t do it.
It’s important to figure out what you want from a relationship and what you don’t want.
This will help you find the right partner.
I know sometimes it feels like being alone is the worst thing in the world and that no one could ever love you, but this is not true.
You need to take your time and figure out who you are and what you want in a partner.
And if that means being alone for a while, then so be it.
8) Hang out with friends
If you’re not ready to start dating, don’t.
Just hang out with friends and do things that make you happy.
Break-ups can be extremely stressful and overwhelming, so just relaxing with friends can be super helpful.
Your friends can be there to remind you that you are loved and cherished.
They can remind you that you are not alone.
They can be there to help you process your emotions.
And they can encourage you to look forward to the future instead of focusing on the past.
So just hang out with your friends and enjoy their company for a while.
9) Stay busy
If you’re not ready to start dating, don’t.
Just stay busy. Find hobbies, volunteer, or do anything that makes you happy.
Break-ups can be extremely stressful and overwhelming, so just relaxing with friends can be super helpful.
However, you might start to get restless or don’t want to brood in your thoughts 24/7. In that case, staying busy might be a good option.
You see, focusing on work or your hobbies right now can help you feel like you are doing something productive and useful.
And it can keep your mind off of the break-up so you don’t feel like you’re wasting your time.
So just stay busy for a while and do things that make you happy.
10) Don’t blame yourself
One of the worst things you can do after a break-up is to blame yourself.
You didn’t do anything wrong. He was the one who lead you on and did you wrong.
You deserve better than that and you will find better than that.
Don’t focus on what went wrong and instead focus on how you’re going to become a better person after it all.
Trust me, for a person like him, it doesn’t matter who you are or how great you are. You couldn’t have prevented this outcome in any way and it’s not your fault.
I know it’s easy to blame yourself, but there is really no point.
It’s time to move on and find someone who will treat you right.
You deserve someone who will take care of you and make you happy.
So don’t blame yourself, just focus on how great your future will be!
11) Read self-help books
Reading self-help books can be a great way to get through a breakup.
It’s also a great way to learn how to better yourself as a person.
There are tons of self-help books out there on a variety of topics like relationships, self-love, and other things that can help you through a break-up.
You can also read books about coping with break-ups, getting over break-ups, and other books that can help you though the difficult time.
Now: it is important to not get lost in an ocean of self-help books. I know from experience that you can get sucked in, reading one book after another, not really changing anything.
Instead, try to take some time to integrate the information you read in these books into your daily life.
For example, if you read a book that teaches you how to be more positive, make sure to actually practice it.
If you read a book on self-love, make sure to tell yourself how much you love yourself every day.
I know it can be hard sometimes to do this, but it is really important and will help you create a new routine for yourself after the breakup.
12) Find a new hobby
Find a new hobby to take your mind off the break-up.
You can explore new things, or maybe revisit an old hobby from your childhood.
Something as simple as re-decorating your room or taking up a new craft can also be a great way to take your mind off the break-up.
A great thing to do is also to revisit the things you used to love as a kid – maybe that was drawing, running outside, climbing, or singing.
Finding a new hobby will take your mind off the break-up and help you get through it.
13) Try new things
Try new things to help get your mind off the break-up.
Go to different events, travel, or try something you’ve always wanted to try but never had the chance to.
You’ll be surprised at how many new things you can do while getting over a break-up.
You see, when you try new things, your brain creates new neuropathways.
The more new pathways you have, the easier it will be to change the way you think and act.
It’s super interesting, but trying something completely new will also help you to get over the breakup.
Filling your mind with completely new memories that you don’t associate with your ex will be helpful in letting go and moving on.
14) Make a vision board
Making a vision board can be a great way to get your mind off the break-up.
You can make it about your dreams, your future, or anything else you’d like.
It’s a great way to get your mind off the break-up and onto positive things.
A vision board is a collection of either words or photos that remind you of what you want in the future.
You can either make a physical board or you can do one on your phone.
The nice thing about this? Creating a vision board allows you to think about and get excited for the future while also reminding you of what you want to achieve.
You will realize that this guy was not the source of your happiness, there is so much you still want to see and achieve in life.
And the best part?
Once you have your vision board, you can start working on achieving the things on it.
Maybe that’s about a career, a lifestyle you want, places you want to travel to,…
15) Stay positive
Finally, stay positive and don’t let the break-up drag you down.
You will get through this, and you will come out on the other side a better person.
Stay positive, stay busy, and focus on bettering yourself and you’ll be just fine.
And when you’re ready to move on, you will know.
However, don’t push yourself to be happy or positive right away.
After all, you just went through something really difficult and it’s okay to take some time to grieve.
Also, don’t hold onto the breakup as a reason to beat yourself up.
That will only make you feel worse and will likely make you push yourself away from the guy.
Don’t do that, it’s not healthy and will only hurt you in the long run.
16) Take care of yourself physically and mentally
If you’re feeling down or upset after the guy led you on, it’s important that you take care of yourself physically and mentally.
Try to eat healthy, get enough sleep, and get outside for fresh air and sunlight.
Exercise can also be great for dealing with stress and negative emotions.
You can also try journaling, meditating, or finding a therapist if you need extra support.
You see, when something like this happens, it’s easy to get sucked into a void of feeling terrible about yourself and not having the energy to do anything about it.
Before it gets to that point, however, try to take care of yourself so you can move on.
You see, your emotions are a powerful thing.
They influence the way you think and feel about yourself and the world around you.
You need to be aware of that fact and take control of your emotions if you want to get better.
Taking care of yourself sends your brain and body the right signals: you are worthy, respected, and loved.
These are the things you need to feel happy, healthy, and whole.
Now that you know how to get over a guy who led you on, you can move past this difficult time in your life and find someone who truly appreciates you.
You see, you deserve the world and even though this guy has not acted like it, the problem was with him and not you.
You deserve someone who loves you for who you are and who makes you feel safe and appreciated.
The good news?
This guy will come along sooner or later, but for now, you will have to look out for yourself.
Make sure you stay healthy and things will be okay.