The girl who cheated on you made a mistake.
You may have already forgiven her.
But what about you?
It takes time to get over someone, but there are steps you can take to speed up the process.
Here are fifteen practical steps to get over that girl and be happy again.
1) Stop looking at her
The minute you see her face pop up on your screen, it will be like a knife stabbing into your heart.
Because you’re torturing yourself by looking at all the things you have together.
For someone who just broke up with his/her partner, this is heartbreaking and agonizing.
So stop looking at their pictures, videos, messages and basically anything of the sort.
This will only hurt you more and make it harder to move on from this experience.
If there are other reminders in your home or workplace that she is no longer there, try getting rid of them as soon as possible.
Try facing the truth.
And you need to start over as if she never existed.
Some things about her will always hurt, but you have to put that pain into perspective, and remember that life goes on.
Don’t feel like the rest of your life is empty because of her, because it isn’t.
Trust me, I’ve been here before. You’ll find happiness again soon enough.
Take it one step at a time and don’t be afraid to try new things or do something different just because you’re sad or upset by your break up with her.
2) Accept that she is not coming back
You may be angry, upset or sad that she didn’t stick to her promise.
But sometimes we break promises because we feel there’s no point in trying to mend the relationship when we know it won’t work out anyway.
She may have left for a variety of reasons.
Yes, she cheated on you.
You have to accept that she is not coming back and that you have to look for someone else.
This is likely going to be even harder than dealing with your break up, but it’s necessary.
The sooner you move on from her, the sooner you can forget about her and start over.
But if it’s too painful for you, keep in mind that some of the people she was with before may still be around.
Just make your new intentions known and find another person who you want to spend the rest of your life with instead.
3) Stop obsessing over past memories
Memories are great and all.
But obsessing over them or just daydreaming about the past is not going to get you anywhere.
This is vital.
The moment you start thinking about that time you went on a holiday together, or first kissed, or spent time as friends, it’s like a knife stabbing into your heart (see point 1).
I know it’s hard, but try to channel that energy into something else in the present.
How about something productive like working out?
Or taking up a new hobby?
This will keep your mind off her and help you focus on the future instead of dwelling on the past.
4) Get back in the game
You need to start thinking about yourself.
You did nothing wrong so you don’t owe it to her or anyone else to be sad for the rest of your life.
Get back out there, socialize with friends, have a good time and stop thinking about her negatively all the time.
If you’re single, start talking to girls again and go on dates.
You will not end up with someone identical to your ex, but let’s face it, she was imperfect anyway.
You will only make things worse for yourself if you continue feeling this way and you will lose more friends because of your behavior when you keep acting like this.
You need to get back in the game as soon as possible and start living your life again as if she never existed in it because she doesn’t anymore.
5) Understand it’s not your fault and you didn’t make her cheat
You need to understand that you’re a good person, and that you did everything in your power to make the relationship work.
You should have never put her on such a high pedestal that she felt the urge to step out on you.
But she did, and now it’s time for you to stand up for yourself, forgive her and move on with your life.
I know it’s not easy for you.
I’ve been in your position before, and there was one thing that helped me get to the root cause and resolve this – the free Love and Intimacy video by the world-renowned shaman Rudá Iandê.
Rudá doesn’t smooth things over, he gets real, and he digs deep into the relationship you have with yourself and how it impacts the relationships you have with others.
So if you’re ready to finally overcome her, check out his incredible free video here.
6) Acknowledge to yourself that it’s OK to feel this way
Don’t tell yourself that you shouldn’t feel this way.
You may feel like it’s not fair to you that she is happy, when you’re still dealing with the pain of your break up.
You’re in pain. This is the worst situation you could find yourself in right now.
But it’s OK that you’re feeling this way because this is how relationships work sometimes.
This is normal and nothing to feel embarrassed about.
It’s OK to feel sad, or angry, or upset.
These feelings are all a part of the healing process.
Just because you can’t see them with your eyes (i.e. she cheated on you) don’t forget that they exist…in your heart and mind.
Take some time for yourself and try not to think about your broken heart too much because you’ll only hurt yourself.
Try doing something that makes you happy and don’t focus on how unfair everything is.
7) Realize that holding on to anger and resentment only hurts you
It’s not going to change the fact that she cheated, it’s not going to make her regret what she did and it certainly won’t change the past.
If you want to move on and be happy again, then it’s time to be honest with yourself and ask yourself why you’re still holding on to being angry and upset.
The more you hold onto these feelings, the more you prolong your healing process.
Anger is a wasted emotion.
Forgive her, and let go of the past.
8) Do what makes YOU happy and makes YOU feel good about yourself
Remember, you don’t need the approval of other people to be happy; you only need to be true to yourself by doing what makes YOU happy and feel good about yourself.
As cliche as this sounds, if you’re not happy with yourself then no one else will be either.
By making sure you’re focusing on your happiness, you can help others in turn.
This is something that I learnt from my own experience.
I used to rely on my ex a lot more than I should have because he was “supposed” to make me feel good about myself.
But when they cheated on me, I realized that they weren’t the only person I could count on for my happiness and self-confidence.
9) Know that everything happens for a reason and sometimes we just need some time to understand why
It’s pretty hard to believe but life does go on after a breakup.
It may be hard to see but everything happens for a reason.
We can’t always understand why we have gone through something, but despite how much it hurts, it will get easier if you try to understand the purpose of what happened.
So stop, take a deep breath, and think about what you learned from this experience.
If you find it hard to forgive her because she broke your trust or didn’t respect your relationship, think about what you can do to protect your heart.
10) Get busy with something new, even if it’s just a hobby
I know it’s hard to get started and force yourself to do something.
But if you spend the entire day thinking about your ex, or obsessing about what you did wrong or missed out on, then there’s no way you can move on.
So take some time off from your heartbreak and do some work on yourself first.
You can learn a new hobby or start learning a language that interests you.
I would recommend that for beginners who need to learn about languages because of their profession (i.e translator or lawyer).
11) Meet new people, maybe even date again. But don’t rush into anything. Hold off on relationships for a bit
Just because your lost love made a mistake doesn’t mean that you can’t meet new people.
There are many single people out there just like you, who feel the same pain as you do and would be happy to date again.
So start going out and trying to meet new people if you haven’t done so already.
Be sure to get to know them before you open up to them.
You don’t want the initial contact with a new person to become a painful memory.
It’s hard enough being single as it is, you don’t need this added difficulty.
But remember, don’t rush into anything!
This will just make it even harder when things get tough again.
Take your time and find out if this person is right for you or not first before getting into a relationship with him/her.
I suggest not getting into a relationship for at least 6 months or so after your break up.
However, if you don’t want to hold up anymore, then go for it.
You’re not hurting anyone by getting into another relationship.
So again, just take your time and learn what you need to learn from the situation first.
12) Exercise regularly to get rid of stress and be healthy again
Be sure to get yourself into tip-top shape and take up some sort of exercise during this time.
This will help you be physically and emotionally healthier and free you from the stress of the situation.
However, if you’re not interested in working out or doing sports, just find something physical that interests you, like learning a new hobby or language.
The point is to do something that keeps your mind off her and gives you joy again.
This will keep your mind off her absence and help ease the pain that comes with being single again.
13) Change up your routine and go on a trip or maybe even move somewhere new for a while
Go somewhere new?
You need a break from the past, and having something completely different around will do you the world of good
If you’re getting into a new place, then that’s even better because it’ll allow you to get an entirely fresh start.
It’ll make it easier for you to forget about your ex for a little bit.
So go stay somewhere new for a bit.
Get out of your comfort zone and explore some new places.
It’ll be good for your mood and frustration level as well as making you feel like moving on from this painful situation.
14) If you still can’t get over her, ask for help from people who actually know how to help
If you don’t know anyone who cheated on their partner and want to talk about it, try talking to someone you trust.
A friend, your mentor or family member will be able to help if they have insight into the situation.
I’ve always been skeptical about getting outside help, until I actually tried it out.
Relationship Hero is the best resource I’ve found for love coaches who aren’t just talk. They have seen it all, and they know all about how to tackle difficult situations like [topic of article in different words].
Personally, I tried them last year while going through the mother of all crises in my own love life. They managed to break through the noise and give me real solutions.
My coach was kind, they took the time to really understand my unique situation, and gave genuinely helpful advice.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
15) Celebrate yourself and everything you’ve achieved
This seems like a no-brainer but it’s so important.
Because if you’re going to move on, you need to celebrate everything you’ve done and achieved.
Because facing challenges is what makes life interesting!
It’s hard to face challenges alone and do something about them, but when you’re surrounded by friends who support you, it makes it easier for you to deal with challenges head on.
Make sure that the people around you know that this is hard for you and that they don’t take advantage of your desire to move on.
So be honest with them and let them into your heart and how broken up this break up has made you.
They’ll understand, because everyone experiences heartbreak at some point in their life.
Most of the time, heartbreaks help us grow and become a better person!
So don’t be afraid to open up to them. It will only make you feel better.
Bottom line: The final step is move on
I know that this article has a lot of information to process. But don’t think too much about it. Just keep in mind that you need to do the following things:
- Take care of your physical health first.
- Start moving on from your ex so that you can be happy again. This is the most important thing you can do for yourself right now.
- Figure out what happened wrong and why this happened so that it won’t happen again in the future.
Remember, there are still people who live happily ever after after their partner cheats on them.
It’s not impossible and all it needs is hard work, dedication and determination.
I’ve even seen people who didn’t get back together with their partners again, but got over them and are now happier than ever.
They moved on, the situation made them stronger and they’re doing great!
You can be one of them too!
So go out there, talk to your friends about what happened to you and keep reminding yourself that you can get through this!
Love isn’t something that is easy to accomplish. It takes effort every day of your life.
But you know what?
It’s totally worth it when you really find “the One” for you.
So don’t give up!