How to get out of the friend zone with a guy: 23 no bullsh*t tips

Have you ever wanted to ask a guy out?

I know I have. I’ve wanted to ask my crush out for years, but something always seems to hold me back.

Fear of rejection and not wanting the guy to think I’m too clingy are probably two of the greatest reasons why people don’t get romantically involved with their friends.

If you are stuck in a friend zone with the guy you like, here are 23 tips that can help you seal the deal finally!

1) It’s all too easy to take the guy you’ve been friends with for granted

Are you treating your guy friend like one of the guys?

It’s going to be hard to get out of the friend zone if you don’t show him that you have feelings for him other than as a friend.

If you’re going to ask him out, it needs to be something that can’t be explained as a friendship but is more straightforward.

He needs to see you as a “lady” and not just as a friend.

That being said, make sure you don’t go overboard doing all those good friend things you do.

It’s wonderful to help out your guy friends, but he needs to know that you have feelings for him and want to enjoy something more than a pure friendship.

2) Don’t give him a reason to turn you down

I thought that this is something that should come with its own point!

If you ask your guy friend out and he doesn’t say yes, don’t blame it on him or try to play it off like “it wouldn’t be right anyway”.

Be more open, what have you got to lose?

You are already aware that your friendship is not a friendship anymore, so there is nothing to lose, right?

Well, try to get past the discomfort and simply work on your confidence.

Don’t be a tease and then disappear.

If you are going to ask your pal out and you do it once, give him time to get used to the idea.

You can make a joke out of it if he says no, but don’t ask him on another date because he’ll think (and probably rightly so) that you’re not serious about what you’re doing.

If there is more than one approach, then go with something else rather than asking him out again and then disappearing on him.

Once is enough!

3) Compliment him on his good looks and personality

Make sure that he knows that you like spending time with him.

Take time to get to know him.

If you are his best friend, you should be able to tell if he likes you or not, right?

If he is interested in you, he will reciprocate the feelings back.

You will clearly let him know that you think he is attractive by giving him compliments on his looks or personality.

That should be a great start so he can begin seeing you as a girl that he would like to date.

You will also be establishing a connection between the two of you.

Once you set that up, your guy friend should then know that it’s time to get serious.

Keep in mind, though, that you need to be careful while giving him compliments. The reason is that friends also compliment one another and you need to learn the proper way to make him realize why you’re complimenting his personality.

Something that helped me to do so recently was speaking to a professional relationship coach from Relationship Hero.

It turned out that I had the wrong strategy of making my friend fall in love with me. Their practical advice helped me to maintain both friendships and start a romantic relationship with him as well.

So, if you’re looking for personalized guidance from professionals in the industry, don’t hesitate to reach out to those coaches. 

Click here to get started.

4) Don’t start dating right away

Many people think that you can get out of the friend zone by “graduating” from a friendship to an established romance.

That’s a great theory, but it’s not entirely accurate.

You need to be very careful when getting out of the friend zone because you can just reinforce that you are still in the friend’s zone.

It’s hard to get out of it if you are going to “date” your friend and not treat it like a date.

Give it time to get to know each other better because people act differently as friends and when in an intimate relationship.

Trust me, you’ll be glad you did.

You may just realize that you may not be quite for each other after all.

It can be a long journey, especially if your relationship is not like that at the moment.

Don’t expect your guy friend to feel the same way as you; he may have some feelings for you, but he may need a little push in that direction.

5) Don’t act too desperate

Don’t demand too much too soon or tell him to do something right away.

As with most situations in life, there’s no need to rush things and make him feel like something urgent and important.

If you just realized how strong your feelings are, give your guy friend a chance to catch up and give a little thought to his feelings as well.

Once you’ve convinced him that you are not being too “aggressive” in your actions, then he will start to realize that he is also falling for you.

Don’t be afraid to tell him how you feel, but try to do it in a gentle way, so he doesn’t start feeling intimidated.

You should be able to tell what his reaction will be, right?

If he likes you, he will be excited and want to reciprocate your feelings.

6) Let him know you want to be romantic with him

I know some people disagree that it’s too soon to be romantic, and I agree if you’re just friends for the sake of being friends.

But if you do want to get romantically involved with your friend, let him know!

Trust me, it’ll all be worth it.

He may be surprised by seeing you as a romantic girl, but that might also give him a new perspective on the relationship.

Being loved by someone can make you feel special, and I guarantee that you’ll really be falling for your guy friend, but also get the same feelings back if you play the game right.

You should be able to tell if your guy friend is feeling the same way or not.

If he is, then the romance should soon be brewing!

7) Acknowledge if he’s flirted with you

Sometimes the chemistry between two people can be very strong despite acting as friends.

However, to notice it, you must pay really close attention to the slight signals you may be receiving.

If you think that there could be something more between you two, then you must act on it and give clear signals, so your friend can be on the same page as you.

If he shows signs of interest, try to reciprocate it and take it to the next level.

Otherwise, you’ll just be wasting your time.

If you start sensing that he may not be all up for it, you may want to reconsider your tactics.

8) Pay attention to his actions and words

If he likes being around you, he’ll be there for you when you need him.

Find out what kind of friend he is and the type of person he wants to be and make your move accordingly.

This is the point where you will get a clear idea of the type of person you are dealing with.

Nothing can be as disappointing as having to deal with a guy who doesn’t understand how to treat a girl, so try not to be disappointed if your guy friend is not straightforward in what he does and what he says.

9) Don’t be too possessive

I know that you want to see your guy friend all the time, but it doesn’t mean that you have to be too clingy and overbearing.

If he needs time apart, give him space.

He’ll come back to you when he’s ready.

Being too pushy can just be counterproductive.

Be careful not to be too forceful; you might scare him off.

Take your time. Rome wasn’t built in a day, right?

Well, it will also take some time to be in a relationship with your guy friend.

So just wait for him and don’t force him to do anything he doesn’t want to.

It’ll only complicate things because you can never force a man to love you.

You will just end up pushing him away, which is something that you certainly don’t want.

10) Don’t just hang out with him in hopes that he’ll ask you out

If you are suffering in silence and are waiting for a miracle to happen, you should know that it probably never will.

Things almost never work out like that, so you need to be proactive and do something about making your desires a reality.

You need to be assertive and tell him how you feel.

If he is really your guy friend, he won’t leave you hanging and will do his best to reciprocate your feelings.

pexels athena 2962243 How to get out of the friend zone with a guy: 23 no bullsh*t tips

The chances are that he probably thought about this scenario too at one point or another, so he’ll do everything in his power to make it happen.

There are a lot of things that you must take into consideration when dealing with a guy who is your friend, but being yourself and not stressing over it will be enough to make him notice you as the girl that he could get serious about.

11) Remember – don-t give up just because he didn’t reply yet

If you’ve tried asking him out with no reply and you still want to ask him out, it’s okay.

It’s normal to feel nervous when dealing with a situation that can be potentially problematic and hurtful, but it’s also important not to let it get the best of you.

If you’re strong enough to go through it, then go for it.

The fact that you want to be with him is enough to keep pursuing him.

Just try different ways of calling his attention until you get to talk with him about how you feel about each other.

12) Show your vulnerable side to him

People like it when they see that other people are not perfect or striving to be.

If you want your friend to start developing some deeper feelings for you, then you should show him that you also have insecurities and need his support.

If you can do that, then he will realize that you are truly vulnerable, and he’ll feel the need to protect you.

His hero instinct will surely do wonders and help you connect on a more intimate level.

13) Let him know that you’re interested in what he has to say

We all want to be appreciated for our qualities and talents, but sometimes we hold back what we have to say because we feel that it might be offensive or even make us look like a fool.

Showing him that you appreciate his qualities, whether they are physical or mental qualities, will intrigue him and make him want to be around you more.

He will always feel good knowing that he is enough for you and that you want to be near him.

If he does not show interest in the relationship, just try to be a good friend for now.

Showing his good points could just get the ball rolling.

14) Be confident

If you show confidence around your guy friend and are comfortable with who you are, he will respect your confidence and think more about it when it comes down to asking him out.

He will soon feel confident that you are the one for him because of your own sense of independence.

So, what’s the secret?

Well, it is in showing him that even though you can live by yourself and enjoy your life to the fullest, you would like to have a great time together and simply have someone to share your time with.

In a way, you can be more independent but not more alone because you have an equally amazing friend to share the good things in life with.

15) Don’t be too cheesy or cliche

I get that you want your guy friend to have a better impression of you, but if you’re going to go out of your way to make it happen, then he’s going to think that you’re weird and will not want to ask you out.

If he likes the person you are now and thinks that is enough, then he’s not going to try any harder.

Be yourself and be genuine. If you do that, he’ll like the person you are.

Think about the things he likes, so you can truly find the best approach to show him how much you care.

That can be a surprise, giving him a gift, taking him to a basketball game, or anything else he is thrilled about.

If you make things more complicated, he can just lose interest in you.

You don’t need to embarrass yourself or make him feel uncomfortable.

Be yourself, show him that you like him, and don’t make him wonder if this is the real you or not.

That’s what people should do to impress one another.

They should let the other person know just how much they care about them and aren’t afraid of expressing their feelings.

16) Don’t be contradictory with your actions and words

If you’re interested in him, then don’t be shy about it.

If you have feelings for him, act like it.

Be honest with him, and don’t try to hide your feelings.

Drop subtle hints about your feelings for him.

If you want him to know how you feel without being too direct about it, start dropping subtle hints about your feelings for him, and when you see his reaction, you will know more about how he feels.

If you start showing that you are interested, he will eventually show interest in you.

17) Be patient

If your guy friend doesn’t show interest in you, don’t get discouraged!

You need to be patient and just wait for him to realize just how much he cares for you.

Give him time to miss your presence and the things you do together.

He’ll love you more for it and will be thankful to have such a good person like you in his life.

18) Don’t be embarrassed, and try not to feel funny around your guy friend

A lot of guys find it off-putting when girls are too “inappropriately” flirtatious or lacking in self-confidence.

Don’t worry about his reaction to you, but give him your best efforts and always be yourself!

Your guy friend will appreciate that, and you’ll have a lot more fun.

Don’t let shyness or insecurity get in the way of the relationship.

Be yourself, he will love it!

19) Don’t be too clingy and give him space

The reason why your guy friend isn’t interested in you is that he is not comfortable with who he is with you.

You need to give him his space so that he’ll think about who he’s hanging out with and how to act around you.

Don’t pester him just because you’re lonely or need someone to talk to.

20) Don’t be too pushy and constantly try asking him out, even if he says no

If your guy friend is not interested in you, then he doesn’t want to be romantically involved with you.

He might like the friendship he has with you and not think too much about it.

Don’t push him into wanting to be romantic with you if he isn’t ready!

If you keep insisting, you will just end up losing him completely.

21) Respect his decisions

Let him know that you respect his decision, and if he is not interested in you, then that’s okay.

Tell him that you would rather continue being friends and do not want to ruin the friendship by being too pushy about it.

Just work towards your life goals and try to be independent so that he knows that you can handle yourself even if he doesn’t ask you out on a date.

Give yourself time to accept the reality and simply try to move on with your life the best way you can.

It is not the end of the world, even though it may seem like it now. We’ve all been there; it is completely understandable.

22) Make the most out of the situation

Don’t lose your friend if he doesn’t show interest in you in a romantic way.

Just enjoy spending time with him while you can and let him know that he is still a good friend to you despite the situation.

He will appreciate that, and you will be able to have great, even better times together as friends.

Even if you may have a hard time, in the beginning, you may end up laughing at this situation in the future.

Go with the flow and make the most out of it, because in the end, you’ll be happy that you were able to be friends with him.

23) Don’t get discouraged by rejection

We all have to deal with rejection sometimes, and it is something we tend to fear the most when approaching our crush in a romantic way.

It’s easy to become negative when things don’t go the way you want them to, but staying optimistic is very important for a healthy life.

Remember that you’re a beautiful and lovable person, even if he doesn’t feel the same way about you.

Don’t get discouraged! Stay strong, stay positive and work towards a better future for yourself.

You might meet someone who is interested in you, but the timing might just not be right for him to approach you.

Keep working hard for your goals, and be patient!

Final thoughts

Let’s be honest here. It is not easy to go out from a friend zone and start dating a guy you have been friends with for a long time, but it is not impossible either.

pexels andrea piacquadio 3776874 How to get out of the friend zone with a guy: 23 no bullsh*t tips

It mostly depends on how you feel about each other and if he has the same feelings for you.

Just remember to be patient and take it slow!

I hope that this article will help girls understand how to go out of a friend zone with a guy they like.

I have included 23 tips here in this article, and it should be enough for him to see you in a new light!

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Picture of Tina Fey

Tina Fey

I've ridden the rails, gone off track and lost my train of thought. I'm writing for Ideapod to try and find it again. Hope you enjoy the journey with me.

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